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But of a handhold needed if anyone’s up?

(66 Posts)
CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:05:41

I’ve got another thread going that goes into the details but basically I had a submassive bilateral pulmonary embolism 3 weeks ago this coming Monday (due to a post operative DVT), was on CCU for a few days before being downgraded onto the main ward and eventually home.

I’m under no false illusions as to how lucky I am to be here and have been suffering MASSIVELY with anxiety since I’ve been home and have hardly been sleeping.

I joined a few Facebook support groups and was scrolling through one earlier, reading people’s stories and experiences when I saw a very ill judged post about the percentage of people who die within a month of their PE, that was it, no context, just that message. I am less that 3 weeks since mine and this just made my anxiety absolutely skyrocket - so here I am, lying here with all the physical and psychological symptoms of anxiety and panic that I know so well.

The utter twat that posted it is a bloody administrator of the group - what a wanker.

teaiseverything Fri 23-Mar-18 01:11:38

I'm always awake smile

First of all, I'm chronically ill (not saying that's the same thing, I have a point coming grin ) and in my experience, those groups on Facebook are sodding useless. Far more bother that they're worth. Full of attention seekers and buckets of misinformation so get yourself away from that madness.

From an immediate here and now standpoint, have a look around the room you're in and find 5 things you can see and then 5 things you can touch. Keep repeating until you run out of things. It might also be worth popping on YouTube and finding some relaxation/meditation videos.

BitOfFun Fri 23-Mar-18 01:13:57

Good advice from teaiseverything. You'll be ok- the anxiety won't do you any good, but you'll be ok. I can post a pic of my new puppy if it will help?

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:14:22

Thankyou, I am seriously considering leaving them - they really are echo chambers of predominantly doom and gloom.

Ok, 5 things I see and 5 thing I can touch - here I go.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:14:42

Yes, puppies, please!

BitOfFun Fri 23-Mar-18 01:15:45

Meet Rory, who's coming home with me on Saturday!

teaiseverything Fri 23-Mar-18 01:16:30

Also have a look on YouTube for Tibetan bowl music. You might think I'm off my rocker haha. I promise though, it's very calming and quite easy to fall asleep to.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 23-Mar-18 01:20:44

Ah. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. That must have been very worrying. I've got a few of the little blighters myself. To be honest I'd never even considered that I might die from them. I wonder if the Facebook group might not be the best place for you if you're suffering from anxiety about it? If he's the administrator then I guess he will set the tone and perhaps there will be similar posts in future.

I know it sounds like a cliché but have you tried anything like mindfulness for your anxiety? I use the Headspace app and I find it quite soothing. I hope you manage to get some sleep flowers

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:21:21

BitOfFun he is utterly adorable! Bet you’re besotted with him.

Never heard of Tibetan bowl music - will take a look.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:23:26

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo I have done mindfulness and have been using the calm app to get a little sleep - I should try some now but I’m finding it hard to even lie down at the moment.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Fri 23-Mar-18 01:26:28

Sorry to hear about what you have been through OP, it sounds dreadful but sounds like you are on the road to recovery now, your support group does not sound supportive at all and yes he sounds a wanker, on a practical level, to calm your anxiety make yourself a relaxing cup of hot chocolate and put some comfort tv on to try and distract yourself, I find this always helps when I’m anxious. He has probably taken that quote totally out of context and It was very irresponsible of him to frighten people in the group. I hope you feel a bit calmer soon, things always seem so much worse in the early hours brew flowers

BitOfFun Fri 23-Mar-18 01:26:33

Cuppa, have you tried listening to just some nice interesting stuff to distract yourself? I love the Adam Buxton podcast to relax to- he interviews people, and it's really laid back and absorbing.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 23-Mar-18 01:29:53

Sorry I didn't mean my post to sound so wanky confused it's too late at night for me!

Maybe some distraction instead? Do you ever listen to the Radio 4 book at bedtime? This week it's Jon McGregor's Reservoir 13. I've only listened to a couple of installments so far but I'm finding it quite compelling. Or you could watch cute animal videos on YouTube. That's a good way to lose many hours smile

notangelinajolie Fri 23-Mar-18 01:31:54

I'm up OP. Sometimes Facebook is not your friend. Ignore the doom mongers. Post massive DVT and nearly a month in hospital after childbirth and my baby just turned 17 a few weeks ago. It's not easy and I won't say I am the same person I was before - the anxiety still gets to me even now but I'm still alive, on mumsnet and kicking smile. I still take warfarin to stop it happening again. One thing I would suggest is get some help/counselling/speak to your GP asap. I didn't do this until years later and wish I had done it sooner. Have some flowers from me flowers.

TanteRose Fri 23-Mar-18 01:33:45

shock at that FB comment!

hope you are feeling a bit better - I guess distraction and breathing are the key points. Do you have a contact IRL (like a consultant or someone) who you can call for reassurance about your recovery? flowers

also...squeee at BoF's wee puppie grin

Adarajames Fri 23-Mar-18 01:35:22

Don't believe what you read on internet support groups! Seriously though, according to various 'facts' people have posted on supposed support groups for various conditions I have, I should either be long dead, or magically cured by thinking backwards thoughts positively whilst drinking organic gnats pee in a dome surrounded by amber light of love (man!) It must be so scary having been so ill, so I'm not trying to belittle or make light of it at all, if you are concerned, then ask to speak to a medically trained who really does know what they are talking about person, not Dr Google. And in the mean time, this is Laker who is due to arrive from a rescue on Easter weekend (and who is only meant to be a foster..... wink )

Kittycuddles Fri 23-Mar-18 01:35:35

Maybe try listening to the radio and messaging people? I googled about eating disorders and read about the survival rate of so many years after anorexia and as an ex anorexic got so anxious I felt like crying I think lmao. Also here's a cute pic of my kitty. Enjoy !

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:36:20

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo not wanky at all - I’m a bit pissed off with myself that I’m not listening to some mindfulness - I know it works - I’m just in that state of “can’t stop shaking, can’t concentrate”. Do you’ve had some small clots/PEs yourself? Sorry, I hope I haven’t worried you - there’s no need to be, mine were very big and acute.

Been meaning to listen to the Adam Buxton podcasts for a while actually.

BitOfFun Fri 23-Mar-18 01:37:15

Ooh, Laker <3

teaiseverything Fri 23-Mar-18 01:37:28

@Adarajames what an adorable "foster" wink

BitOfFun Fri 23-Mar-18 01:38:12

And a big floofy kitty! Love them.

teaiseverything Fri 23-Mar-18 01:42:10

A crazed nutjob for you

MooseBeTimeForSnow Fri 23-Mar-18 01:44:00

I’m awake. In Canada. I’m 7 hours behind you, so it isn’t bedtime yet.

That admin is a twunt.

And here’s my sleeping kitten for you.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Fri 23-Mar-18 01:44:35

I’m LOVING all the animal photos! What a beautiful cat Kittycuddles and something tells me it may be a rather long term foster Adarajames (your support group advice did make me laugh - quite an achievement in my state!).

Wow notangelinajolie to go through that just after giving birth - how awful that must have been. So you’re on thinners for life? Do you have to have your INR checked still?

I have my GP Tanterose who has tried to reassure me but as he said himself he isn’t an expert. I am on thinners and had a filter placed in my main vein (inferior vena cava) to help stop any more of the clot moving to my vital organs, you’d think that would help reassure me. Have hospital appointments coming up though (am dreading - convinced myself of more bad news).

Adarajames Fri 23-Mar-18 01:44:43

Here's my first failed foster

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