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If you could instantly teach your children one thing...

(105 Posts)
toomuchtooold Tue 20-Mar-18 16:19:28

What would it be? Like if you could snap your fingers and they would instantly have learned this fact/skill... I'm torn between a) the length of time it takes to get to the front door to answer it, and therefore the minimum amount of time you should leave it between rings of the bloody doorbell; and b) the amount of force it takes for you to move towards me, which as it turns out is a lot less than the force you normally use, sending you barrelling into me painfully.

TeaBelle Tue 20-Mar-18 16:20:32

How to wipe her bum after a poo (dd age 3)

TheQueenOfWands Tue 20-Mar-18 16:21:45

Decent handwriting.

He's 14 and really struggles.

TuftyHair Tue 20-Mar-18 16:22:22

That sleep is helpful not something to fight against. Also that getting off the sofa and bed feet first is safer than head first.

AvoidingDM Tue 20-Mar-18 16:22:29

How to read. I hate Biff and Chip and he refuses to read anything else.

Justanotherzombie Tue 20-Mar-18 16:22:48

On a more serious note - that you might as well love and care for yourself a lot because not loving and caring for yourself is pointless and unhelpful and there's really no reason to choose the later over the former

Luckyme2 Tue 20-Mar-18 16:24:03

How to rise above silly teenage girls

confusedandemployed Tue 20-Mar-18 16:24:39

That standing up to bullies is the best way to deal with them, and that "standing up to bullies" can be done in many ways.

TigerBreadAddict Tue 20-Mar-18 16:25:26


Oh no, wait!! How to make me the perfect cup of tea!

RickOShay Tue 20-Mar-18 16:27:07

Same as zombie
to be ok with yourself, I think pretty much everything follows on from that

Babababababybel14 Tue 20-Mar-18 16:27:20

How to walk, she is 6 months and hasn't moved an inch. Not even crawling or sitting up

user1483390742 Tue 20-Mar-18 16:36:34

To not ignore the mess they make.

BlankTimes Tue 20-Mar-18 16:36:39

@TheQueenOfWands perhaps it's time to have a word with school and say he cannot do any better therefore please assess his needs for a laptop. There can be a lot of reasons why someone cannot produce perfect handwriting besides just not trying hard enough.

TheImprobableGirl Tue 20-Mar-18 16:45:32

babybel I am not going to be the first to say this to you but a non walking child is like ambrosia- it is literally the best thing in the world grin

You will spend the rest of your life telling them to speed up, slow down, don’t touch that, go to bed and so on and so forth that putting a child down and it being there when you come back? Bliss!

Sprinklesinmyelbow Tue 20-Mar-18 16:46:27


CigarsofthePharoahs Tue 20-Mar-18 16:56:34

How to use their indoor voices. I'm sick of being screeched and yelled at. I'm two foot away from you, stop bellowing!

CisPinkHoodie Tue 20-Mar-18 16:58:38

Assertiveness. Real assertiveness - not what people think of as assertiveness (ie aggression). It took me about 40 years

NomsQualityStreets Tue 20-Mar-18 16:59:59

How to use the potty and/or toilet.

DS (3) adamantly refuses it and I've really had enough of his adult human equivalent poos I'm having to tackle sad

NerrSnerr Tue 20-Mar-18 17:00:25

I'd teach my 3 year old to walk home from nursery so I don't have to get off this settee!

schnubbins Tue 20-Mar-18 17:08:45

to be a whizz in maths

WidoWanky Tue 20-Mar-18 17:14:23

Self respect.

toolazytothinkofausername Tue 20-Mar-18 17:14:24

For them to always know that they are enough, just as they are. They have nothing to prove, and they have nothing they need to achieve.

Hakarl Tue 20-Mar-18 17:50:22

Yes, instant potty training would be amazing!

A walking 6 month old would be an absolute nightmare on the other hand.

Cleanermaidcook Tue 20-Mar-18 17:55:40

To be kind without being taken advantage of.

Idontmeanto Tue 20-Mar-18 18:34:04

Effective nose-blowing

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