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What did/does your day look like raising your children?

(32 Posts)
Theflowerswillbloom Sun 18-Mar-18 16:16:00

This is a bit of a random post, but I'm really interested in what your day looked like/looks like raising your children?

I have recently been reading some blogs of 1950s housewives schedules, as well as watching YouTube videos re-creating days in the life of 50s-90s mum's. I was born in the early nineties, and the biggest difference I feel is that children don't play out like we used to - other than that I can't think of any major differences (although obviously there are some smaller ones).

I am a sahm to my 21 month old DD. We wake up together, have a cuddle/nappy change and go downstairs where she likes some warm milk. We then play together, do flash cards and read books. DD then helps me to do the laundry and empty the dishwasher. We have breakfast (usually cereal or porridge with fresh fruit, sometimes waffles as a treat), clean up and DD plays independently while I relax for a while. We then go upstairs to get ready, and go to the park/library/toddler group, or just play at home (crafts, play dough, learning activities, books, singing etc). Then we have lunch, play, and DD has a nap. I relax for a while then do a little housework. DD gets up, has a snack, we play and usually watch a little TV while I prepare dinner. Dh then baths DD and puts her to bed while I clear up.

What do you think has gotten better/worse over time? If you are raising children now, do you wish it was like the past? Or if you have already raised your children, is it easier now and what are some of the differences do you think?

Theflowerswillbloom Sun 18-Mar-18 16:23:09

Oh I missed out the afternoon nap I have for a little while most days, as I'm pregnant and tired!

melonribenia Sun 18-Mar-18 19:52:12

Your day sounds idyllic.

I am Mum to ds(6) and dd(18 mths). I work 4 days and do extra evening work.
My days seem to involve a never ending cycle of rushing around, housework, prising a whining dd from my legs while I try to cook tea and washing plastic drinks cups.

My days at work involve more rushing!

MujosMama Sun 18-Mar-18 20:23:30

That does sound lovely and congratulations on your pregnancy smile but I agree that it doesn't sound all that different to the 1950s but when you go out to work it's very different. I get up before my DS to make sure I'm showered and dressed and have his nursery bag packed, then get him up, quick feed and dressed. I try and put a wash on first thing too then my DP will put it in the tumble dryer for when I get home (later start, but later finish, he works 10 hour shifts).

If we aren't out the door by 7.30 the traffic is too bad to get him to nursery in time for me to get to work on time. I either finish at work at 5 then leave and go to a second freelance job 2 evenings a week, or i stay at work until 6. Nursery pick up is 6.15-6.30 depending on if I get out of work on time, then we get home around 7.

I give DS his dinner (an Ella's kitchen pouch, he's 9 months) then give him a bath and get him ready for bed. Usually I get him down about 8ish, which is about when my DP gets home. One of us cooks, we eat and get a couple of hours to chat, do any urgent tasks that need doing before the next day, I usually log back in to work to do any urgent emails as we overlap a lot with the US time zones.

1-2 days a week DP is at home (shift work) and on those days I leave a bit later and have a cup of coffee with him and play with the baby in the morning, then usually work later as I don't have to dash to nursery, getting home between 8 and 9

PurdysChocolate Sun 18-Mar-18 20:24:26

I wake up about 7:30, exhausted. I get my 2 year old changed and dressed, brushed and washed. I change my 4 month old. We head down for breakfast. I rush around feeding the 2 year old, my two cats, and myself, let the dog out, and then dump a few things into a change bag and set up the double pushchair. With great effort I get the kids into the pushchair out to a toddler group, thankfully there is one every morning, where I sit breastfeeding the baby and ignoring my toddler.

After we head home for lunch, which my toddler probably wont eat, and then I collapse on the couch and put something on Netflix while binge eating due to stress. My toddler spends the afternoon playing by herself and whining for snacks. Occasionally I head upstairs with the baby to try and convince him to nap. The toddler doesn't nap anymore. At 4:30pm my husband walks through the door and I hand him the kids and tell him I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HOME. He then gives the toddler dinner, puts her to bed, and wears the baby in a sling for the reminder of the evening. DH goes to bed earlier and earlier these days, while I have become an insomniac and rarely fall asleep before 2am. I feed the baby through the night (he's a bad sleeper) and then start it all again the next morning.

I have no first hand experience as to whether children play out more or not, as mine are too young. But I would guess how parents view their roles has changed. I don't feel shame in saying how stressful I find caring for a 4 month old and a 25 months old. And my husband is an equally involved, caring parent.

Can you link the 50s schedules? I'd be interested to read (and see how much I'm failing!)

MrsJonesAndMe Sun 18-Mar-18 20:31:17

That sounds rather blissful!

Mine are both in school and I work from home, so mornings are rushing and normally shouting to get out on time, then work/house stuff then school run and then tea/homework/bath/stories etc.

I have a calendar in the kitchen and I have to write it all down and make sure that it all gets dealt with - dress up days/money for stuff/attending assemblies/cake sales and what not! Not to mention getting them to activities, facilitating friends coming round etc etc.

Enjoy your peace while it lasts grin

Camomila Sun 18-Mar-18 20:33:24

Your day sounds similiar to our non-nursery days...apart from the flash cards! DS would just chuck em about smile
DS is 23m and needs a run around everyday. We live in a flat so we spend an hour most mornings at 1 of the local playgrounds or if the weathers bad we walk to the cornershop. He's loving sledging these days.
Have lunch, plays for a bit then he usually has a two hour nap.
Then cbeebies and more play time till daddy comes home.
Sometimes he 'helps' us cook.
Dinner together at 7, bath at 8.
One parents does bath, one washes up.
All go to bed together at 8.30 cuddle and read stories. When DS is asleep we transfer him to his toddler bed and go watch tv!

Trying to slowly edge everything forwards by 30m as he's having to get up earlier for his 2 nursery mornings.

junebirthdaygirl Sun 18-Mar-18 20:36:48

Theflowers your day sounds exactly like my day in the early 90s except for the flashcards. We did read lots of stories though. And my ds was football mad even at that stahe so had me in the garden kicking ball. I went out every day to the exact same places as you and one day a week visited my DM and DF . Lovely days to look back on as my ds is late 20s now. Enjoy.

Sashkin Sun 18-Mar-18 20:38:05

On days when I’m not working, my days with DS are similar to yours. He comes into bed with me for a feed when DH gets up (he’s not one yet so still BF). Then we go downstairs, change his nappy, and he runs around a bit until 9am. He has breakfast and then has another nappy change, brushes teeth and gets dressed (I’m trying to keep the cereal off his day clothes grin). Then we either play some more or go for a walk/do some errands. Tuesdays we have swimming. Back for lunch and a nap, and I’ll do some housework. More playing or baby group depending on the day, another nap, tea time and bath, then into bed as DH gets home.

On days when I’m working, we all get up at 6:30, DH entertains DS while I get ready, then I get DS up and dressed while DH gets ready. We usually do nursery drop off together (at 7:30) unless one of us needs to be in work early. DH does nursery pick up, gives DS tea and gets him bathed and ready for bed because I get home after 7pm. I feed him to sleep. It isn’t much time with him, and I’m glad I only work three days a week.

Camomila Sun 18-Mar-18 20:38:30

Also...you might like to read Anne Oakleys 'Housewife' about housewives in the 70s. One of my fave non fiction books.

Achafi Sun 18-Mar-18 20:41:29

I get up when my ds squawks for me. Between 6 and 8 depending on how badly he's slept. I breastfeed him for about half an hour. We go downstairs and he plays in his Walker while I make breakfast/ empty dishwasher/ put laundry on. We have breakfast together. Then we get dressed and take the dog for a walk and he naps in a sling. We get back and he has a snack and then we play or go to a baby group then we have lunch. After lunch we either meet up with friends or do a class then he naps and when he wakes up he has dinner. He plays for a bit then bath and bed. Nursery days are different because my dh does mornings so I can go to work.

FenellaMaxwellsPony Sun 18-Mar-18 20:42:19

DS is 13mo. We wake up at 6:15 and he has milk whilst watching an episode of Hey Duggee, then I get him washed, dressed and his teeth cleaned and hand him over to DH who plays with him and the dog whilst I get ready, and put a load of washing on. At 7:45 I either take him to nursery or his grandma picks him up for the day, depending on the day of the week, then I work until 5. Pick DS up, get home, make a fuss of the dog. Make dinner for DS one handed whilst holding him with the other, as after being fussed over all day at nursery or grandma’s, he doesn’t want to play alone. Feed DS and the dog, then do bath, stories, bed. Cook dinner for DH and I,
as he works until quite late. Eat whilst trying to stay awake, quickly clean down kitchen and hang up the washing, prepare my and DS’s outfits and bags for the next day, then collapse into bed about 10pm. Up with DS 2-3 times in the night usually.

897654321abcvrufhfgg Sun 18-Mar-18 20:48:42

Get up at 6.20, cup of tea, mumsnet on iPad fir 15 minutes b4 washes and dressed then youngest boys get up then breakfast, lunches made, get school clothes out, get load out of washing machine and put another in. Get 2 teens up, check youngest are on track and have washed face and brushed teeth.Check reading books and spelling books are in backpacks, Get coats and shoes on before all out the door. I work 11-2.30 so housework done between 9.15-10.30 after I get back from school run. Go straight from work to collect all children from school then snacks,empty second load from washing machine, homework, reading, dinner made, dinner eaten, clean up dinner, quiet reading time ( we all read our own books for 15 mins) then music practise for youngest 2 then showers, stories read then bed. 3 times a week I also have to fit in climbing club, swimming and dropping eldest to work in between snacks and unloading washing machine!!! By 8pm I am ready for vegging in front of tv/iPad!!!!!!

897654321abcvrufhfgg Sun 18-Mar-18 20:50:17

Forgot about sorting dinner for DH when he gets home at 7 which is right in middle of shower time for youngest!!!!

BertieBotts Sun 18-Mar-18 20:52:28

I don't really understand the point of flashcards. What are you supposed to do with them? I think reading and playing would be more fun and useful to a toddler.

DS is 9. On school days we get up at 6.20 and by 6.40 I'm at his bedroom door checking he's getting dressed. If he is then we have breakfast together and he goes off to get the school bus. I hang around in my pyjamas for a bit drinking coffee and waking up, maybe doing some housework stuff if it's a late start and then I go to work.

After work I usually get back about 5/6. Sometimes DH is already home (depends on the day). So I make dinner for DS and sometimes myself if I'm hungry already. We eat, he spends the rest of the evening on youtube or playing games (he does his homework at school) until 7 when it's his shower time. He has a shower, if he finishes on time we read from 7.30 until 8 and then he does his teeth and goes to bed.

I make dinner for me and DH or just relax at this point, as if I've already eaten DH will sort himself out. Go to bed around 11.

During weekends and holidays we get up late and do more cleaning and might go out as a family, otherwise it's much of the same screen based entertainment blush

MyDcAreMarvel Sun 18-Mar-18 20:54:32

Op can you link to the blogs and you tube please. Sounds fascinating.

Grumpbum Sun 18-Mar-18 21:00:55

Today 7 yr old woke as normal at 6, stays in bed till 630 when he takes himself downstairs and reads, 3 yr old wakes at 7 and demands hot choc as it’s a weekend, H gets up and plays with them until around 830 when I get up. We had breakfast then got dressed. Eldest did a math sats paper whilst I made hot choc to take sledging. Went sledging. Came home, went to pub for roast dinner. I had a nap, kids built snowman with H. I got up, fed kids, H went to do his sport for a couple of hours. I
Played with kids then H came home he did stories and put them to bed whilst I sorted food out and bits and bobs for tomorrow. Kids fell asleep and we are watching a film.

isthistoonosy Sun 18-Mar-18 21:19:12

Kids are 4.6 and 3.2. Weekdays, we all get up at 5am, kids dress themselves and have a drink, teeth, wash, and then we generally play puzzels or read until 5.45 when OH takes them to nursery. Then we drive or bus to work (same direction so we travel together), work, get home. I pick up the kids 15.00. Kids play out or at their nans (next door) while we do house work, bring in wood, cook dinner etc. Eat around 4.30 and then kids play inside for a while, bit of TV and bedtime around 6.30. The kids have stories and chats with one of us at bedtime, we take turns. The we study , walk the dogs, finish housework, watch TV etc until 9.30 when OH goes to bed, I normally watch TV until 11.00.

Weekends, we try to get time to ourselves and do things with the kids, this weekend was walking, skiing, baking, writing and reading, film and popcorn, but they aren't always that busy.

Kitsandkids Sun 18-Mar-18 21:25:08

I have 3. 10, 9 and 9 months. On school days I wake up with the baby between 6 and 7. Occasionally the alarm wakes me up but usually it's the baby who's been in my bed every night since birth. I wake the older kids, try to encourage the baby to play on her mat/jumperoo for a bit while I sort out breakfast. Feed and dress baby. Dress myself while an older child sits with the baby.

Aim to be out of the door by 8.15 for the school run but most days I'm telling at least one child to hurry up and get out of the house at 8.30. 25 min walk to school. Sometimes the baby naps on the way but usually it happens on the way back.

Depending on the day we either head back home or to a baby group. If home she'll sometimes stay asleep for a bit and I watch TV, or we'll play with her toys. If at a group we do that then home, lunch and I encourage the baby to have a nice long afternoon nap. If my husband's off work that day I sometimes take her up to bed and we nap together knowing that he can collect the boys.

Quite often the baby and I will take the boys to an after school youth club or swimming at the local pool. 2 nights there's a later club to get them to. Dinner happens before or after, depending.

I aim to get the baby into bed for 7ish, then the older 2 go up at 7.30 and I read a story at 8. I then chill out on the sofa for a couple of hours, watching the baby on a video monitor and hoping she stays asleep until I join her.

IHaveACuntingPlan Sun 18-Mar-18 21:42:38

We have two dc. I work part-time.

Today I got up at 7.20 because after last night's pizza I was v thirsty. The dc followed me downstairs, got their breakfasts and got out the Lego. I didn't actually want to get up though so when Dh got up after about half an hour I went back to bed!

When I got up again I Hoovered, tidied, did dc's homeworks with them, heard ds read and put him to bed, went to the shop for onions, cleaned the floor and made our tea. I have also made cornflake buns with our dc (and managed to split the chocolate again).

Dh has put the washing on, spun it and put it to dry and then made a chilli for tomorrow's tea. He's also washed up a few times and made the kids' dinner. He heard dd read and put her to bed. He has spent some time in his PlayStation this aft too.

This is our typical weekend day really. We share tasks and parental duties.

I do think it's different from my parents' relationships because my dad never did anything with us when we were little apart from read us the newspaper and my step-dad was almost always working, doing diy jobs around the house or pottering in the garden. He cooked most of the evening meals though.

rainbowfudgee Sun 18-Mar-18 21:46:03

My day used to look a lot like yours, OP. Then I went back to work (part time), had another baby, went back to work again and then eldest started school. Mornings are quite a rush now- out of the door at 7am on a work day and 8.15 on a non work day for school run. Weekends are very laid back. I find my children more fun now though (age 7 and 4) as we can do more interesting stuff together- cinema, theme parks, baking properly, board games etc. Life is quite full on but I love my job and family time too.

rainbowfudgee Sun 18-Mar-18 21:50:03

Yy to dad's helping more these days. I've been unwell today and DH has done nearly everything- getting up with the children, cooking 3 meals, playing with them and taking them to the park, putting them to bed. He does quite a bit day to day- not hardcore cleaning jobs as he's not great at housework but he's great at parenting. Now they can entertain themselves for a while or watch a film we both get a break.

Cockmagic Sun 18-Mar-18 21:53:25

I think the big difference is the mother's usually stayed at home with young children. Your day sounds lovely but I had to return to work once maternity was up (like most).

You're very lucky my to able to stay at home

DelurkingAJ Sun 18-Mar-18 22:00:40

I think the big change is that women (who are wealthy enough?) have a choice as to whether they (or their DP) go back to work. PP would love your day, if have been on Mother’s Little Helper if forced not to work!

123bananas Sun 18-Mar-18 22:04:36

My day starts at 6.30am. Three kids, up at 7am.

I help DH get the kids breakfast and get them ready for school.

Leave for work at 8am. DH takes kids to school.

DH does nursery pick up at midday and after school pick up. He plays with ds, takes him for walks or shopping in the afternoon.

I get home at 6.30pm ish.

We eat dinner together, then I bath the kids, read with them/or they read to me. Last one into bed at 8.30pm.

Then I study until 11pm. Some weeks I work an extra evening or a weekend day too.

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