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19 stone 7 of disgusting

(87 Posts)
shouldnthavesaid Sun 18-Mar-18 12:16:41

I was 16 stone 2 in September. Steadily crept up since then sad

I'm 5ft 9 so that puts me at morbidly obese. Its like carrying a whole extra adult constantly.

I know why - I struggle with health, I don't do regular exercise and I eat crap to bury my emotions. I love food. I know why I'm fat. I've been the same since I was 6 years old. I've lost weight twice - 4 stone at 16, 3 and a half last year, and then put back on even more. My diet is very carb and sat fat heavy (toast for breakfast, sandwich at lunch, pasta or something and potatoes for tea) and not much protein or fruit and veg.

But how I do I start to lose again? That number is so overwhelming I just don't know where to begin. I was at my auntys when I weighed myself and she said first step is to get contraceptive implant out (booked for Thurs) , get thryoid bloods (both parents are underactive thyroid), and go for a 30 min brisk walk every day, even just round the street a few times.

I feel so disgusted, ashamed and angry with myself that I don't want to look after me at all. I shower every day, wear nice clothes and I don't smell but people must see me and think how fat I am. I can't believe I've willingly let myself get so massive sad

It would surely take years to lose all that weight sad I don't know where to begin.

gamerchick Sun 18-Mar-18 12:22:24

Well you start at the beginning. Make one or 2 changes to start with. Up water intake and cut out snacks and definitely do that brisk walk every day and gradually extend it the more you do it.

I’d also find something that interests you to take up to try and sidestep the emotional eating. It’s easier not to think about food if you’re occupied.

Also don’t eat in front of the tv. If you just have your meal to focus on then you’ll be able to listen to your body more.

AveAtqueVale Sun 18-Mar-18 12:25:07

That sounds so hard, OP. I was 18 stone 6 last October, now just over 16 stone and still losing - have done it with the help of the wonderful @BIWI and the other posters on the Low Carb Bootcamp threads - it’s the only diet I’ve ever succeeded at as I also default to eating crap based on emotions, and this week felt motivated enough to start running for the first time in four years as well.

Agree with your auntie re the implant - they absolutely don’t agree with some people. So fed worth trying getting it out. The only thing you can do is just start. I promised myself I’d give the low carb bootcamp one week, and if I hated it I’d stop. Still here nearly five months later. I also followed this meal plan to the letter for the first fortnight just so I didn’t have to think about it. Low carbing might not be for you- but whatever you decide to try I can guarantee overthinking it beforehand won’t help!

PsychedelicSheep Sun 18-Mar-18 12:31:00

You are not disgusting. You are a human being and deserving of love no matter what size you are flowers

Maybe look at some body positivity blogs and Instagram posts. You can make good choices for your health and body without being at war with it.

Hotdoggity Sun 18-Mar-18 12:33:43

It does take a while but you know yourself that once you’ve started, you feel a million times better just because you’re back in control.

Hotdoggity Sun 18-Mar-18 12:35:49

I’m an emotional eater too. And I used to smoke to blunt emotions. But I gave that up and I find it’s helpful to apply the same principles to over eating. I let food hijack my positive associations but it was all psychological.

Curious1981 Sun 18-Mar-18 12:36:23

You’ve done it before
You can do it again
The challenge now is to keep it of

What do you normally eat in a day? Include everything

AmUsername Sun 18-Mar-18 12:37:16

I've recently dropped nearly 3 stone doing the Exante diet. It's a total meal replacement plan but it's pretty easy to stick to. I still have another 5 stone to goal but I feel great having lost the first bit of it. Another 1/2 stone and I'll be as light as I was at 16!

Pangur2 Sun 18-Mar-18 12:37:33

Try going on Keto. It's amazing; I've lost a stone in a month and you would probably lose even more. You always feel full and you can still eat out etc. You can still drink, but diet drinks and spirits. I've missed beer a bit, but overall it's the best diet I have ever been on. I can eat so much cheese, mmmmm! Check out the Keto board on Reddit. It's been so inspiring to me.

Decasanova Sun 18-Mar-18 12:38:40

Forget about how long it's going to take you and focus on each day. Quick weight loss may result in stretched skin do its better to be slow and steady when losing weight.

The problem with diets is that they take us out abruptly out of our eating habits and are usually only sustainable short term. After failing you then become more despondent and are likely to eat more!

In your position I would agree that a brisk walk every day is going to help rather than any exercise routine.

Portion control should be your first step. You are used to eating certain foods and dropping them all to munch on salads or diet shakes is setting yourself up to fail.

Week one, eat what you usually eat but leave a quarter out and put straight in the bin. You are still getting all your normal tastes and flavours but have not taken in as many calories. You won't like putting it in the bin as we are all conditioned not to waste food but it's better in the bin than on your hips!

After the first week you realise you didn't feel much different and therefore can go without that quarter of the food you put in the bin.

For the next two weeks you prepare your food in the smaller portion size so you don't have to waste.

Now you've realised you can eat less you can start looking at cutting down more, gradually each week but at making a few swaps of different foodstuffs that are healthier or have less calorific value.

During this time take the time to chew and taste what you are eating. Are you gulping it down without fully chewing, slow down and saviour your food.

You can use smaller plates as an aid.

You will eventually settle into a new eating habit of eating much less and of introducing new food options and you will gain confidence as you lose weight.

Once you have lost weight where you feel comfortable you can consider other types of exercise.

You can do it.

Waystobewicked Sun 18-Mar-18 12:44:46

You are not disgusting!
You are overweight and you’ve weighed yourself and want to loose some . Your brave . You’ve made the first step. How about setting small goals? One pound a week ? You can do it ! Xxx

dontbesillyhenry Sun 18-Mar-18 12:46:59

OP I'm in the same boat. Worried for my health now. Please pm me if you would like suport or just to talk to someone in the same situation

pandarific Sun 18-Mar-18 12:48:07

Honestly look into the 5:2. It is very very good for people who've always struggled with their weight, and it's very doable and totally 'resets' how you are with food. No booklets, no meetings... and there's an excellent Facebook group called '5:2 diet UK' which is so great at support.

Good luck!

shouldnthavesaid Sun 18-Mar-18 12:48:14

Typical day:

2/3 slices of toast with p butter or beans and cheese, usually something sweet mid morning
Sandwich with crisps, yoghurt, donut or cake, very rarely fruit
Ice cream or biscuits or chocolate mid afternoon
Frozen crap for tea - ready meal, breaded chicken, potato wedges, pizza, with mayo and small bit of salad
More ice cream or sweets
Sweets/biscuits or toast and hot chocolate in the evening

Even I know reading that where problems start - what I'm eating doesn't fill me at all .. !!

When I've lost weight before it was

2 slices of toast with thin scrape of butter, apple/OJ

Fruit and nuts or graze box thing mid morning, or greek yoghurt and fruit

Salad for lunch with plain crackers or soup

Very small tea - cooked chicken and salad, or baked potato and cheese or something.

Nothing else until bed.

Plus up to 20000 steps per day (12 hour shifts auxiliary nursing so very manual job) 1 hour swim a week, daily wii fit, and long walks with dog at weekend.

I'm a student now so vast majority of time I'm alone in my room sat on my bum - no regular exercise at all. Even climbing stairs to my flat exhausts me and I lag behind classmates walking to uni, out of breath easily. Had a treadmill test a few weeks ago which they said was normal, I'm just unfit.

Ginkypig Sun 18-Mar-18 12:50:20

you are not disgusting

Absolutely don't think of it all! Just focus on the week ahead. No food is off the table but it's about balance. Aim in the beginning at looking at small changes then adding more as you get a handle on things. Slow and regular weight loss is the goal.

I lost 4 stone and then had to do it a again a couple of years later. Iv gained back a stone but Iv got a handle on why now blush
This time around I think Iv understood the balance bit (now) I don't ban any food but I do follow a thought of if I have pizza today then I have a good meal the next or if I have those crisps then il say no to that cake or if I have a big bowl of pasta with garlic bread and a glass of wine for tea then breakfast and lunch need to be (for me) fruit and soup because as much as I can eat what I want I can't have everything, anytime I want does that make sense or am I waffling?

icebearforpresident Sun 18-Mar-18 12:51:45

Very similar boat here OP. I’m 5’8 just under 18 stone and a size 22. Going on a girls weekend soon and have the fear of needing a seatbelt extension the plane.

I’ve been doing weight watchers and you know what,it’s working. A few months ago I hit 19 stone and that was my kick up the butt. Also had the implant fitted recently and have dropped weight ‘easily’ with it.

You aren’t disgusting,neither of us are. We are human and we are not perfect and that’s ok.

BIWI Sun 18-Mar-18 12:54:09

Even your weight loss diet is really high carb!

You'd be a lot better with something like this:

Breakfast - full fat greek yoghurt, with some berries or nuts/seeds; if you're at home/have time, perhaps some scrambled eggs. Bacon, eggs, mushroom and (low carb) sausages at the weekend.

Lunch - tuna mayo (made with full fat mayonnaise) and salad; or lettuce 'wraps', little gem lettuce leaves rolled around something like tuna mayo, or full fat cream cheese; ham/other sliced meat with salad. Or something heated up from dinner the night before, if you have access to a microwave.

Dinner - any meat/fish served with lower carb vegetables, e.g. cauliflower, broccoli, courgettes, spinach, celery, mushrooms, aubergine, cabbage. With a cheesy/creamy sauce if you like. Salads with olive oil-based dressings.

Snacks - you shouldn't need any if you're low carbing, but things like cheese cubes, hard boiled eggs, cucumber/celery with full fat cream cheese, olives, pork scratchings

BIWI Sun 18-Mar-18 12:54:51

And btw - agree wholeheartedly with PP - you are absolutely not disgusting! Well done for starting to take action.

Frith1975 Sun 18-Mar-18 12:56:09

I have also had life long problems with never feeling full up. I was always hungry.

I’ve been on the Blood Sugar Diet (not dissimilar to the 5:2) and the cravings and huge appetite went after a week.

ScreamingValenta Sun 18-Mar-18 12:57:40

It's hard, but you have to remember that as soon as you start to lose, you'll feel and look better. You will not be morbidly obese for the whole of your weightloss journey - as your weight comes down you'll become 'overweight' rather than obese.

If you find starting daunting, could you ease yourself into it by first cutting out snacks/puddings but eating your normal meals; and then once you have started to break the snacking habits, find a way of eating that suits you. I am another advocate of low carb/high fat but the important thing is to find a 'way of eating' rather than a 'diet' - i.e. something you can stay with.

Decasanova Sun 18-Mar-18 12:58:18

I've never been overweight and I eat lots of typically unhealthy things but I only eat them in small amounts. If I have a pizza, I have a slice never the whole thing.

You shouldn't have to live in denial of things you like but you can cut down on the amount you eat but do it gradually.

If I have a sandwich I might have a few crisps but never the whole amount.

I can be tempted by chocolate biscuits so I never sit down with a packet as it's all too easy to watch tv and suddenly realise you've demolished half a pack so I will only put two on a small plate before sitting down.

You will be surprised at how much a difference reducing portion sizes will help. As you lose weight your confidence will grow and you can make better food choices as you will want to try foods that interest you rather than just eating for the sake of it.

GailLondon Sun 18-Mar-18 12:58:21

*It would surely take years to lose all that weight sad I don't know where to begin.
This quote really stood out for me. Those years are going to pass anyway regardless of what you do. It doesn’t matter if it takes years, possibly for you it would be even better if you did lose the weight slowly as you may be the type to get frustrated if you aren’t suddenly skinny 2 weeks after starting the diet and give it all up.

Decasanova Sun 18-Mar-18 13:05:07

I'd only worry about it taking years if you are 94!

Focus on today. If you have a slip up don't waste time beating yourself up, start the next day with more determination.

EveMoneypenny Sun 18-Mar-18 13:07:29

I second the recommendation above for the Blood Sugar Diet. You stick to around 800 calories per day so you see results fast (I usually had 1000-1200 though). It's low carb so you don't feel hunger to anything like the extent on other diets even with such a low calorie intake. It's medically safe, can help you avoid diabetes and so motivating to see quick results.

80sMum Sun 18-Mar-18 13:08:29

No, no no, OP! You are NOT disgusting, OK? You're struggling a bit with food intake and maybe portion control and that's resulted in weight gain, but that's it. Nothing disgusting about that.

I would strongly recommend you consider adopting a low-carb way of eating. I have seen phenomenal results with people I know who have chosen this route. All have lost substantial amounts of weight and two of them were diabetic when they started; neither of those two now have any indication of diabetes - the low-carb regime has completely cured them - and their GPs are now recommending the low-carb regime to other patients.

Take a look at this website, DIET DOCTOR. There is loads of info on low-carb and ketogenic diets on the Internet. Have a read, then have a go. You have nothing to lose, except some weight and your low self-esteem.

Good luck. flowers smile

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