Talk

Why isn’t it good enough? It’s the reason why you are saying no, isn’t it?
Apart from the film sounds like utter bollocks but that’s not a valid a reason for censorship.
It’s 18 for a number of reasons, which you have explained, and he’s 14.

It's too old for him. It has adult themes and content which the BBFC has deemed suitable for an 18 plus audience.

Why do you need to have a discussion? You're the parent, he's the child. What other parents let their children do is neither here nor there

Whether your explanation is "good enough" for him or not isn't the point. You've said no. You've explained your reasons and as you're the adult that's it.

Good question OP. I admire your tenacity here. I wonder if it might help to give your son a parallel. Most people agree that, on the whole, it's good to treat your body with respect. To stay fit, avoid junk food etc. Yet people treat their minds like trash cans. Pouring damaging and unhealthy ideas and images into it with complete disregard to the effect on their psyche. Avoiding gore, smut, porn and sick ideas exemplified by the Human Centipede is choosing a healthier mental path.

It is a difficult concept because teens, particularly, pride themselves on exploration and being open to new ideas. And they're tricked by the media, and their more foolish peers, into thinking that dabbling with the edgier side of life is part of demonstrating maturity.

Good luck and don't doubt yourself. You're right about this!

Because you can't 'unsee' gross things, and some of the 18s have some pretty sick images and ideas in them.

I like scatters suggestion. I think it makes sense and is a proper explanation rather than fobbing him off.

Tbh if he doesn't understand why some things are inappropriate for children, I'd be a bit concerned.

Either he genuinely doesn't understand, or his "I don't understand" is just code for "I understand perfectly well why it's inappropriate, but I want to watch it anyway and hope I can persuade you by making out that you've got no logical reason to stop me".

I’m a bit unclear as to why your entirely reasonable explanation wasn’t good enough for him - it’s not as if you just said “no, end of”.

DS is 15, and I’ve told him he can’t watch Game of Thrones yet for exactly the reason you gave and he’s fine with that. Ironically, I think the more mature a teenager is, the better able they are to grasp why they’re not mature enough to watch some stuff.

Have you asked him why exactly he wants to watch such a disgusting film?

It's difficult. At that age, if I had been told I couldn't do it "because I wasn't developed enough", I would have damn well done it to make a point, and maybe regretted it.

My suggestion to get him onside would be to try and think of something he was once shocked and appalled by, that did freak him out a bit, or that used to scare him (if you can get him to admit to any such thing). You might have to go back to childhood a bit. Not necessarily a film, but something that happened that he didn't like, such as having an injection. Ask him how he felt about it, and then tell him that seeing this film would make him ten times worse, he'd lie awake thinking about it. Or tell him about a time you saw something you wished you hadn't. (I once watched something inappropriate aged 15 - I felt sick and faint for the rest of the day.)

The trouble is, at his age, simply saying "because I say so" or "because I'm the adult" is going to make him all the more curious; forbidden fruit is all the more appealing because it's forbidden, and next time he won't check with you first. It is hard to explain why 18 films are bad for you without telling what's in them.

Take a similar traditional teen battle: smoking. My parents spent a lot of time telling me why smoking is bad for you, that it costs, saying "I know I'm a bad example", saying that my peers might encourage me to smoke. But interestingly, the one thing they did not say was don't ever let us catch you smoking.

An argument I remember using as a teenager was: "at school they make us read horrible stuff like Lord of the Flies, full of boys killing each other, a pig's head impaled on a stick; or Romeo and Juliet committing suicide for each other". They made us read Wuthering Heights as well. Or they made us dissect sheep's eyes, I can't unsee that! Or that history is full of really horrible and sick stuff such as beheadings, genocide, slavery, war. In year 8 they made us do a debate about violence on TV, when most of us were at an age when we were not supposed to have seen it.

But this didn’t do it and tbh isn’t good enough.
Why isn’t it good enough it’s been marked as 18 by people with experience and research into what is suitable for what age.

www.bbfc.co.uk/releases/human-centipede-first-sequence-2009 Explains why it’s been rated as it has.

thanks folks
He is a v competent chef and v v sporty so I think the junk food analogy would work.
There is no negotiation about it but with everything we have tried to gain proper understanding rather than just no means no type of thing.
I thought the not being able to unsee it would work (certainly I was traumatised by watching "The Accused" when I was 12!)

oh and he was going to watch it because some of his 'friends'?!? watched it last weekend

Seems like he’s trying to prove himself to his friends. Not a good reason for doing something.

indeed giraffe which is another reason I don't want him to rebel against our rules for the sake of it, I want him to understand why not..

OP, stick to your guns is all I can say, cos they are the bloody right guns. These films are given an 18 for a reason and tbh, if I had my way they'd have at least a 25 CERT , never mind 18. Show me a teen that magically turned into an adult at 18 and I'll run naked down the high street.

Scatter you speak wisely and I applaud your post.

'Because I said so' is quite lazy parenting past a certain age. It's just common sense to explain things properly. I think op is right and is great for talking to her son about it.

Ask him what he would say to a much younger child - under ten, say - who wanted to watch or play one of his 15 or 16 rated films or games.

Oh gosh, let him watch it and I guarantee he will never question age ratings again!!! 🤢🤢🤢🤢

I bet half the friends that 'watched' it last weekend didn't see it at all. hey all big themselves up at that age. DS2 was always saying boys were allowed 18+ computer games/DVDs etc and it turned out they weren't.

Why would any parent let a 15 year old watch that sort of film?

You don't need to justify it. Your rules and I don't blame you, that movie is vile.

At the same time, at that age he'll probably find a way. I know I did.

That film is horrific.

Tell him it will freak him out.