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Take a break madness

(110 Posts)
BogEyedBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:29:05

I love a good TAB thread so I picked one up today to see it first hand, I have no words!

“Surprise triplets at 58!” Is it a surprise if you spent £5,500 on a trip to india to have IVF with a doner sperm and egg? She was never even told she was having triplets (only one embryo implanted), the doctor said he was putting 3 embryos in so there was a chance of triplets. She did get her longed for baby in the end but the story definitely was nothing like the title sold it to be! —why am I shocked—

The next story: Love Rat Husband...
He turned up at her house on their second date with a suitcase saying ‘can I move in?’ And she said YES?!
This line got me “Reda didn’t have a job so he helped by getting the weekly shop in”. Anyway after a few years she saw him cheating and filed for divorce —not after her family all said he tried it on with them, she refused to believe it— and signed up for online dating. A man named Tony got in touch with her and they started dating. Thy arranged to meet and last minute he went to Canada and then Nigeria for work. Long story short she sold her car, withdrew her pension and sent him over £150,000 in total over the years.

I’m too afraid to read on! What am I going to find out next?!

Lighthearted and not at all trying to be rude to people who struggle with IVF and fertility wrt the first story.

What are your favourites from over the years grin

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown Wed 14-Mar-18 17:32:22

It's the headlines that get me on the cover, it's the paper version of click bait grin

witchofzog Wed 14-Mar-18 17:34:31

I love the top tips. One of my favourite ever was someone who had fashioned some slippers from sanitary towels. They looked like, well sanitary towels really grin

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown Wed 14-Mar-18 17:37:46

Witch grin

FuckyDucky Wed 14-Mar-18 17:41:45

I’ve just subscribed to Readly and Real People is like this. One I read the other day was along the lines of ‘My vagina grew teeth and bit my lover’s knob’
I read the headlines out to DH, I’m sure he thinks I make them up.

juneybean Wed 14-Mar-18 17:41:52

I actually know one of the stories in this edition and the woman is an absolute nutter.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Wed 14-Mar-18 17:41:59

Top tips.
I remember one where someone use hairspray to fix their makeup to their face (it works a treat apparently) and to pass it on to their readers.

Whereupon the person running the top tips column immediately printed the suggestion and followed it up with "I absolutely won't pass this on! Hairspray on the face is very dangerous!!"😳
Then why print the suggestion?

Oh and the series of photos showing someone doing a Mexican wave with her toes - just 3 photos of feet with toes in slightly differing positions.

BogEyedBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:47:54

It is definitely the paper version of click bait! I should have done a TAB title for my post 😂

FuckyDucky Wed 14-Mar-18 17:49:07

Just seen another one ‘My placenta popped the question’

Now, will I eagerly read this story to discover either:

A) a talking placenta?
B) the placenta emerged with a beautiful ring entwined? or most likely
C) a story that bears little resemblance the headline?

I’m off to read, I’ll be back.

BogEyedBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:49:21

Juney how do you know the woman or is it too outing?!

This is the click bait that drew me in!

BogEyedBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:51:02

I hope it’s option A and B together FuckyDucky I also spent £2.20 on Chat because I wanted to read about a dying dogs bucket list. I best not be disappointed

StealthPolarBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:51:39

I have had one hell of a week and I need to be on this thread.
Juney do tell smile

FuckyDucky Wed 14-Mar-18 17:52:02

Ok, it was C.

FuckyDucky Wed 14-Mar-18 17:53:12

bogeyed I have no words. What the fuck can be on a dying dogs bucket list?
Please report back!

StealthPolarBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:53:39

Dying dog bucket lost:
Chase AND CATCH a squirrel
Ear scratch
Eat something meaty
Tummy scratch
Mud roll
Good shake in owners cream-carpeted room after mud roll
Ear scratch grin

athingthateveryoneneeds Wed 14-Mar-18 17:53:59

I sent a top tip to that magazine years ago. Got a £20 cheque. grin

juneybean Wed 14-Mar-18 17:54:48

Sorry it wasn't the pregnant women. It's the woman who's daughter had the hpv vaccine. I do wonder if there was an element of munchausens by proxy as she used to say the elder daughter was always ill as well. Very odd woman.

StealthPolarBear Wed 14-Mar-18 17:55:29

What was it athing
Or are you not willing to share the knowledge for free?!

AmethystRaven Wed 14-Mar-18 17:55:50

Every single person ever is called 'love' by their partner in the Take a Break universe.

I prefer the Fate & Fortune TAB, it's my guilty pleasure. I'm not sure which one is dafter actually!

demirose87 Wed 14-Mar-18 17:56:59

The funniest Top Tip I've ever seen was this:- instead of ironing your clothes, just place them under your sofa cushion ( the seat part), then sit on them while you're watching tv.

I've never heard of anything so lazy.

FuckyDucky Wed 14-Mar-18 17:57:30

I’ve got a top tip.
No money for expensive Christmas decorations for the tree??
Spray tampons with glitter spray and hang them up with the string!

I just made that up, I could be on to a winner with these.

athingthateveryoneneeds Wed 14-Mar-18 17:57:44

Pm me Hun!

wink

It was about getting bonjella on a teething baby's gums who already has a few teeth. Instead of risking getting my fingers bitten I would put it in their toothbrush.

StealthPolarBear Wed 14-Mar-18 18:00:08

The sofa one sounds very sensinle
The average mners Christmas tree would be quite bare though, with just one lovingly-placed glittery moon cup

LEMtheoriginal Wed 14-Mar-18 18:01:02

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to snigger and sneer on people's fucked up lives. Says more about the readers than the poor saps who have been lead up the garden path but shite journalists

BogEyedBear Wed 14-Mar-18 18:40:31

The dog bucket list is quite interesting although I’m sure it wasn’t completely the dogs idea. He completed 52 things with a few being:
Drove through mountains
Dog party
Swam in a waterfall
Played paramedic
Became a paramedic
Got married
Rode a train
Rode in a motorbike side car wearing a leather jacket
Learnt to fly a plane
And played in the snow!

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