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What things did you think you would never have to do?

(123 Posts)
Soubriquet Mon 12-Mar-18 10:02:25

I've just had to CUT A CAR out of my hair.

Never in my life would I have thought I would have had to do that.

Ds has a toy car that moves on its own. I laid him down to do his nappy just as he pressed the button. My hair got tangled in one of the back wheels and got wrapped around the axis before I could blink.

No amount of untwisting or pulling worked...hence the scissors sad

Luckily it's not overly obvious

DigitalGhost Mon 12-Mar-18 10:09:03

Pick tiny pasta out of my ear hole after it being vomited in by my 7mo.
Also never thought me and my dp would discuss our child's poop as much as we do. 😂

FlibbertyGiblets Mon 12-Mar-18 10:09:31

Treasure pebbles carefully and ensure they were laid out in the correct order on pillow at bed time. Woe betide the parent that didn't realise the order of preference was changed - without prior notice. That was a [stuffs fist into mouth to stop the scream] moment I can tell ya.

And let's not even talk about the - no, not going there again shock

CookPassBabtridge Mon 12-Mar-18 10:24:49

Tell my 3 year old not to put his finger in his bum when he's sat on the toilet.

Sparklingbrook Mon 12-Mar-18 10:28:47

Tell my then toddler to 'Put the pavement down!'.

Apologise to the neighbours when aforementioned toddler threw his pants (wet ones because he had dipped them in the paddling pool) over the fence while they were having dinner al fresco.

Sparklingbrook Mon 12-Mar-18 11:07:44

Aww no my toddler's pants have killed the thread. sad

Soubriquet Mon 12-Mar-18 11:11:20

That must have been funny to see grin

I also have to tell Ds to stop licking the dog. hmm

BexleyRae Mon 12-Mar-18 11:11:32

Repeatedly say DD please stop licking the wall and voluntarily catch chewed food that's being spat out only for the spitter to then eat it from my hand like a dog

Sparklingbrook Mon 12-Mar-18 11:13:23

I actually heard the 'splat!' sound as they landed on the neighbour's patio. I watched him dip them in the pool but wasn't quick enough to pre empt his next move! He laughed. Then he laughed because I was horrified.

ParisGellar Mon 12-Mar-18 11:15:04

I said the phrase 'DS, stop rubbing your willy on that bin lorry'. Being a parent is weird, isn't it.

Singlikemiranda Mon 12-Mar-18 11:15:20

Pull a baby wipe out of my dogs arse

werewolfhowls Mon 12-Mar-18 11:15:44

Pull a stringy amalgamation of grass and poo out of a dogs arse. I don't even own a dog.

Sparklingbrook Mon 12-Mar-18 11:16:33

I am currently trying to obtain a wee sample from the cat. It's not going well . She spent the day at the vets on Friday, they didn't get one so now I have to do it. angry

werewolfhowls Mon 12-Mar-18 11:16:36

A lot of these involve arses 😁

Aprilmightmemynewname Mon 12-Mar-18 11:17:42

Phone the police on my own ds knowing it would mean I could never see him again.

StormyLovesOdd Mon 12-Mar-18 11:24:00

Live in a rented house and claim housing benefit.

Not that theres anything wrong with doing that but I brought my first home aged 20 (mortgaged), got married, had kids, then my DH developed an OCD which left him unable to work and we had to sell our home to a housing association because we couldnt afford the mortgage. We still live in the same house but now its rented and I can't see us ever being able to afford to buy a house again. It makes me sad that we'll never have anything to pass onto our DD.

StormyLovesOdd Mon 12-Mar-18 11:25:00

Thought of another one ....... pull a piece of stuck tinsel out of my cats bum, the stupid animal likes to eat it.

Soubriquet Mon 12-Mar-18 11:35:11

Oh April flowers. So sorry.

Aprilmightmemynewname Mon 12-Mar-18 12:10:52

Thanks. Extra hard yesterday, def no one in rl to talk to.
Stormy - real 'tail' of tinselitis there.
RIP Alice Tinker.

upsiedayz Mon 12-Mar-18 13:02:12

Breastfeed my clusterfeeding newborn baby while having a quick poo.

CookPassBabtridge Mon 12-Mar-18 13:04:20

We really have to teach them not to be little hooligans don't we!

Literally just told DS not to stab the cat with scissors.

BeyondThePage Mon 12-Mar-18 13:04:31

Catch an eruption of toddler Ribena-sick in my dress before it hit a friend's cream carpet!

(I really wish I had not worn a dress that pulled on over my head that day too!)

LeighaJ Mon 12-Mar-18 13:16:04

Give birth, since I spent my entire life from age 12 adamant that I never wanted children, only to change my mind at 33.

My own contribution to the bum theme...pull a rubber band out of my cats bum. After the second time it happened I put a ban on rubber bands in the house. blush

Youvegotafriendinme Mon 12-Mar-18 13:22:48

Have poop in my mouth! New born DS sharted so hard it went every where. Including my mouth!
Asked DS to stop licking the cat.

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday Mon 12-Mar-18 14:33:56

Glammed up for a wedding reception some 14 years ago, I went to breastfeed baby DS in our car in tranquil spot outside pub. Nappy leaked, poo EVERYWHERE (including my gleaming white shirt). I was desperately trying to fathom out how to sort things out with hands/baby covered in poo, and right boob still out! Then DH appeared (with crisps for me) - what a star...though the look on his face was priceless!

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