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I've not seen my children for over 2 weeks

(138 Posts)
youokayhun Sat 24-Feb-18 20:54:09

I don't know how to cope any more. My ex went behind my back to cwork yet and got a prohibited steps order put in place without notice and the court haven't even listed it for hearing. He's lied about everything. There is no reason for my children to not be with me and I miss them so much it hurts. I can't stop crying and I don't know where to turn sad

youokayhun Sat 24-Feb-18 20:54:53

to court*

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sat 24-Feb-18 20:56:06

On what grounds was the prohibited steps order granted?

Have you had any legal advice

LIZS Sat 24-Feb-18 20:56:25

Do you have a solicitor? Were ss involved so that the children were living with him?

cista Sat 24-Feb-18 20:59:09

Sorry to hear this, op sad

You need legal advice asap.

In the meantime, is there a mutual friend who can help to mediate things between you? You don't have to talk to your ex face to face. Why not WhatsApp him? Is he reasonable?

youokayhun Sat 24-Feb-18 21:17:24

He's said I am mentally unstable, suicidal and have a drug problem and the children aren't safe with me. None of this is true. He has absolutely nothing to back this up. I cannot believe a judge has actually made such a serious ruling based on a man with a vendettas ramblings and nothing else.

I have a solicitor who's trying to help but I'm having trouble instructing one to act on my behalf without knowing the hearing date as it's likely to be last minute (at least I thought it would be)

Social services not involved and never have been, we have the children 50/50 and are in the middle of court process to get this in writing to save arguements (I would love them full time, but I've tried to be reasonable and listen to what the children and he wanted - so glad I did that now sad) I saw a councillor a while back as have lots of stresses on at the minute mainly caused by him, they made a safeguarding referal as we're worried about me but children's services spoke to me and the school (on the phone) and made it quite clear there were no issues what so ever that required their involvement. The children see a family support worker at school every week at my request as due to the conflict between their father and myself (I try to keep them out of it but unfortunately he doesn't) I felt it would be good for them to have somebody else that they could talk to in case they felt they couldn't say how they really felt to me - no concerns from these people either.

I've tried so hard to be a good mum and he's trying to destroy me and my relationship with them.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sat 24-Feb-18 21:27:02

If social services have never been involved dobyou mind my asking who dealt with the safeguarding referral

youokayhun Sat 24-Feb-18 21:32:32

I said above, the county councils children services got in touch with me about the referral (there was never concern for any harm being done to my children, they apparently just wanted to ensure I was receiving the right help for the situation I was in hmm) it was an informal chat on the phone, they asked for permission to speak to school, not a problem, then a letter received from them saying no issues what so ever and no involvement from them needed.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sat 24-Feb-18 21:38:10

A prohibitive steps order is to stop you talking the children abroad. It doesn't stop you seeing the children so I don't understand why you haven't seen them for 2 weeks. Where are they?

Thesecondtoast Sat 24-Feb-18 21:47:33

Prohibited steps can be used for many reasons. It prevents you from doing something. Could be taking kids abroad, could be not visiting grandad, moving schools, having medical treatment etc.

youokayhun Sat 24-Feb-18 21:55:37

Notsucha I can assure you it is a prohibited steps order (often used to prevent taking children abroad, not its sole purpose) and it is preventing me removing the children from their fathers custody. They are with their father. I cannot take them from him him, the school or anybody whom he entrusts their care to until further hearing which in the original order states would be two days after the order was made however here we are and still no hearing.

zzzzz Sat 24-Feb-18 22:10:52

Could you not go and see them at school?

rosieposies Sat 24-Feb-18 22:27:16

@youokayhun flowers is it possible for you to see the children in a neutral environment, e.g. the school or in a contact centre? It's not ideal at all obviously but at least you'll see them x

Belleende Sat 24-Feb-18 22:31:47

That is horrific. Have you posted in legal?

buffy58 Sun 25-Feb-18 08:10:56

Can you chase the family court regarding the hearing date?

Can you ask children's services to outline in a letter that they have no concerns?

Also your GP for the same

Perfectnight Sun 25-Feb-18 08:16:11

That’s really awful. Surely solicitors work to quick deadlines and last minute hearings all the time. Find one straight away and start collecting evidence yourself to show that you can look after your children.,

youokayhun Sun 25-Feb-18 09:49:41

I've rang the court time and time again every single day the just say it's "with the judge" and I have to wait.

I've contacted children's services lots of times to asking for a further report, constantly told I'll be called back but nothing yet

I have a letter from the doctors

The problem is until there's a hearing I can't show these things to anybody

I am I touch with a solicitor who's helping me but like I say - without a date i can't do much

Cafcass are involved but I feel totally let down by them

Contact centre is an option but I have yet to be able to get a slot with one.

It's heartbreaking it really is. I think of baby p and all other such cases where there IS concern but nothing done and I just can't understand it at all

Chocolate50 Sun 25-Feb-18 09:58:33

You can put an application in for the children to be returned to you. This can be done as an emergency as far as I'm aware & you can wait for it to be heard on the same day. This happened to my dd & the solicitor said she could do this ( it wasn't necessary in the end as he agreed contact & she kept the child away from him until a proper agreement had beer reached, the trust had gone). There is a form you can fill in I think you can download it. Don't let him do this

rosieposies Thu 01-Mar-18 14:06:00

How are you @youokayhun ? Have you got anywhere yet?

youokayhun Thu 01-Mar-18 17:29:52

@rosieposies thank you for your thoughts. I had the hearing yesterday at magistrates court. It didn't go well. They are still unable to give me an actual valid reason as to why this is happening and still no explanation as to how social services aren't involved. It's breaking my heart not seeing them. I had a midwife appointment today and after explaining she referred me to social services so I am hoping that will help in some way

youokayhun Thu 01-Mar-18 17:36:06

@rosieposies I've just read your thread about your partners ex and the feeling that everyone seems to believe her bullshit - that is exactly what's going on here too. He talks absolute nonsense with nothing to back up yet here we are?

DextroDependant Thu 01-Mar-18 19:48:51

How is any of this even able to happen. Your poor children must be so confused.

Do you know what happens next and what your next step should be?

Afreshcuppateaplease Thu 01-Mar-18 19:53:33

Sorry to hear your going through this op it sounds terrible.

How old are the dc?

When is your baby due? Is he the father?

BuffaloCustardbath Thu 01-Mar-18 20:02:04

This is horrific youokhun, how can this be allowed to happen?! sad how far away are you living from them? Thinking of you xx

QueenB14 Thu 01-Mar-18 20:59:04

I have no advice but I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you get your babies back soon flowers

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