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A parking AND a blue badge one, be nice please!

(38 Posts)
TheLadyOfTheCold Thu 22-Feb-18 16:09:18

Yes I know, a parking thread and involving disability! I have deliberately not posted in AIBU however to avoid any meanness wink and have NCed as don't want this linked to my other posts. I just want people to be honest as to whether they too really think like this.

Anyhoo. Yesterday I had a medical appointment at our nearest town. I am disabled and have a blue badge. I sometimes use a wheelchair, or if not I use crutches. My disability is one that causes bad pain and fatigue and you can tell I am disabled if you saw me "walking". I have a WAV (obviously large) and I also need my car door to be opened fully to get out of my car. Just scene setting!

Our hospital is within our local town and there is never any parking there. I drove around for ages and tried the local council car park - out of about a dozen B.B. spaces, at least were taken by cars without BBs angry There was however a parent and child space free (and no one waiting) so I parked in there and displayed my badge. I couldn't park anywhere else as "normal spaces" aren't big enough for me to be able to get out of my car. This car park is also the only one close enough for me to use my sticks rather than chair, I had a teenage DC with me and they struggle to push me in town, so I didn't really have any other parking choice.

As I got out of the car and started across the car park, a woman stopped her (average sized btw) car and rolled down her window, and we had the following conversation (as close as I can recall)

Her: excuse me, you're in a mother and child space.
Me (nicely and smiling) Yes I know, Im disabled and have a blue badge and don't have any other options I'm afraid because...
Her: well they are for people with children
Me: Well I do have a BB so, just like a double yellow...
Her (rudely) We have a baby in the car so we need the space
Me: Well perhaps you'd be better finding the people that parked in the BB spaces without badges rather than having a go at me, are you really grudging a disabled person using a parent space?
Her: Well having a small child is the same (I swear she said this, she really did!)
Me: No, it really really isn't.

At this point I limped off thinking "fuck it, can't argue with stupid" or I'll cry grinbut kind of lost the moral high ground by having to go back to drag DD with me, who had just asked the woman exactly what her problem was blush

Yes I'm disabled but I also have DC, I know that having DC, whilst sometimes a world of pain in itself grin is nowhere near as hard as not being able to move, let alone walk, without pain. I know that it's a damn sight easier to get a baby out of a car (even in a car seat) than for me to get out of one! It staggered me a bit, tbh that someone genuinely thought I should move my car for them, under the circumstances.

I know it's not AIBU, but was I BU? I don't think it should matter really but I had been trying to park for 35 mins and might have been late for my appointment if I hadn't parked there. I was also worried about this appt so perhaps this has upset me more than it should, I would normally shrug it off. To me it feels like she was unreasonable, and also quite mean, and wondered what others thought? Would you expect me to move my car?

TheLadyOfTheCold Thu 22-Feb-18 16:09:43

Oh fuck that's really long, sorry! shockblush

GrockleBocs Thu 22-Feb-18 16:12:12

Blue Badge trumps P&C.

LostMyBaubles Thu 22-Feb-18 16:12:46

I wouldnt expect you to move at all.

GrumpySausage Thu 22-Feb-18 16:12:49

YANBU. I have a toddler and a baby on the way and i would not begrudge you using the space.

scurryfunge Thu 22-Feb-18 16:14:26

She was being an arse. Parent and child spaces are provided as a courtesy only.

sparklepops123 Thu 22-Feb-18 16:15:15

You were in the right I'd of happily let you have the space

TheLadyOfTheCold Thu 22-Feb-18 16:15:24

Oh that's nice and reassuring smile

Tbh, normally I would think "oh fuck off" and give it no more head space, but she seemed so genuinely outraged! And I think having my DD there, she was a bit shock that someone would be so rude to me.

I must confess I spent the appointment wondering if the woman had left a note on my car. Which I would immediately bring to MN, or course grin

rednsparkley Thu 22-Feb-18 16:15:50

I know it's not AIBU but you are 100% NBU. I was always of the opinion/understanding/belief that a BB trumps any other kind of parking privelige. Also does a BB not have the law behind it? A parent & child space is just a nice wee extra and there is no legal right to it or its use surely

That woman was way out of line. And rude!

Loonyluna16 Thu 22-Feb-18 16:16:54

Parent and child spaces are a curtosey and not legally enforced Disabled spaces are different they are legally enforced. Yanbu. You had every right to be in the space. X

RatherBeRiding Thu 22-Feb-18 16:17:22

Of course you weren't being unreasonable. A disabled parking space is very often a necessity (as it is in your case). A P&C space is nice but definitely not essential.

Crocky Thu 22-Feb-18 16:18:12

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

afrikat Thu 22-Feb-18 16:21:43

She was being ridiculous. I am a big believer in the benefit of P&C spaces but never at the expense of a BB. You have priority, always

GreatDuckCookery Thu 22-Feb-18 16:22:05

What a stupid, ignorant woman. Speechless really that there are able bodied people out there that think because they have a baby in the car it trumps a disabled person. angry

Perendinate Thu 22-Feb-18 16:23:15

I think you did the best you could do.

I certainly wouldnt be complaining if a blue badge holder needed to use a p&c space. What a dick move on her part.

PuppyMonkey Thu 22-Feb-18 16:23:47

She genuinely thought you’d say “ok I’ll move my car.” grin

And she would have smugly sat and waited for you to struggle back to the car, get yourself in and do it?

I’d almost have liked you to do it so that I could film it and shame her on social media.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Thu 22-Feb-18 16:23:57

I have a toffler, and from personal experience when friends give me lifts places, getting a little one out of a car seat in a normal space I'd a PITA. That said you absolutely had a right to use that space and your need was greater, yes it would be harder for her to manoeuvre her child, but you would have been stuck completely. Not all parents of young children are so inconsiderate, don't give her another thought.

Knittedfairies Thu 22-Feb-18 16:25:25

You did nothing wrong.... and you had your 'child' with you anywaygrin

sparkleandsunshine Thu 22-Feb-18 16:26:13

You’re in the right, I have a small baby and really appreciate the P&C spaces because it’s easier to get the baby out BUT it will never be the same as if I was disabled, I did get cross at the supermarket the other day when there was lots of free BB spaces and only one P&C, and the man in front of me took it, and had a BB and no child, it was no closer than the disabled spaces but I think he took it just because it was the first one he came to.
But I didn’t say anything, because why would I? If you have a BB then you’re already likely going through something I can’t even imagine, why add to that!

snewsname Thu 22-Feb-18 16:27:04

You were completely in the right. She's a twat who's probably always a twat.

puddleduckmummy Thu 22-Feb-18 16:27:37

I love that your DD has got your back! But YWDNBU in any way, don't let her get to you.

MinorRSole Thu 22-Feb-18 16:29:59

Oh ffs, what a nerve she had. Even when my twins were babies I honestly didn't find it any hassle to get them in and out the car. I had a galaxy at the time so not exactly a small car either. I wouldn't dream of comparing having a baby to having a disability either - deeply insulting to both!
Some people have no bloody idea do they. I regularly drive a close friend who requires a wheelchair, it's a huge thing getting in and out the car and we definitely need the space and proximity - there is just no comparison to any able bodied parent and child.

Shopkinsdoll Thu 22-Feb-18 16:30:13

What a cheeky bitch! I would have wanted to skelp her with a wet fish! lol. She can park anywhere with a baby seat, you can’t. She just thought she was entitled. I haven’t batted an eye when this happened at our local supermarket. You handled it very well, I would have flipped x

MimpiDreams Thu 22-Feb-18 16:30:31

I had a bloke shouting at me in similar circumstances in Morrisons carpark. Demanding to know if I had a baby in the car. But I'm a bit oblivious and didn't realise it was me he was shouting at until he wheelspan off and I noticed other people starring at me. He parked further up on the opposite side and then came storming over. I was scared as he did look pretty rough but even he had the grace to look sheepish and change his direction when he noticed the blue badge. The woman you encountered was a CF.

Floralnomad Thu 22-Feb-18 16:31:04

My dd has a blue badge and we have when necessary used parent / child spaces if there’s been no alternative , I actually wouldn’t have engaged in conversation with her , but you did nothing wrong

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