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Backhanded compliments?

(104 Posts)
crunchymint Tue 20-Feb-18 23:24:47

Have you ever been given a compliment that was really an insult?

One woman said to me, "I wish I could be so unbothered about my appearance as you are Crunchy."

SneakyGremlins Tue 20-Feb-18 23:27:09

"I wish I could never care about looking stylish!"

Thanks hmm

SleepingInNewYork Tue 20-Feb-18 23:29:02

Yes, an old manager of mine used to try to get her kicks from doing this.

DramaAlpaca Tue 20-Feb-18 23:32:22

Many years ago I had a cute pixie crop which I thought really suited me. One of DH's female colleagues said to me "You need some face to carry off that hairstyle." DH told me it was a compliment. It absolutely wasn't.

NameChangedAndForgotOldName Tue 20-Feb-18 23:37:11

"Wow you do night classes aswell as having 4 kids, you're really dedicated! I looked into it but I like spending time with my kids"

And I don't? 😒

crunchymint Tue 20-Feb-18 23:41:45

Wow! That is awful namechanged

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Wed 21-Feb-18 00:27:53

"You really fill out that Hawaiian shirt".


Georgeofthejungle Wed 21-Feb-18 00:31:04

Place marking 😊

FrancesHouseman Wed 21-Feb-18 00:46:13

You'd be so pretty if you lost weight.

gluteustothemaximus Wed 21-Feb-18 00:59:09

'Oh wow, have you lost weight?'

I hadn't. I'd had a baby, broken my foot, and put on a stone or two

Feeling my DD's bum..'oh brilliant, she's potty trained, well done you'.

No. She's not. How did you NOT feel her nappy?

'The school we visited the other day was awful. No way is DS ever going there. Your DS could go there though. He'd thrive anywhere'

Speaking of a terrible local school.

There's a reason I don't see her anymore!

EastMidsGPs Wed 21-Feb-18 01:12:33

My SIL, who is always immaculately turned out, cares a lot about her appearance and is in fact the total opposite to me said after she'd met me for the second time "oh you do scrub up well" 😠😠😠

First time we met I'd just returned from helping clean and paint a local community centre that had been the object of an arson attack.

She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I refused for which she had never forgiven me am so pleased I did as the dresses she chose flattered no one and simply served to make her look more lovely - think 1980s

LaundryMountain Wed 21-Feb-18 01:17:47

“What your daughter lacks in looks, she makes up for in stamina.”

(Paul Calf)

shakesbeer Wed 21-Feb-18 01:18:29

"I never realised you had green eyes ! They're kind of merky.. like swamp green. That and the colour of my nephew's nappy."

"I wish I knew as much about film as you. I just don't have the spare time to spend so much of my life in the cinema."

HildaZelda Wed 21-Feb-18 01:23:52

My SIL to me: "Your dress is 'different'. I wouldn't wear it myself though"
The look of disgust on her face when quick as a flash I replied: "That's because you'd never fit into it love" grin

Thisimmortalcurl Wed 21-Feb-18 01:25:05

I was once told I was the type of women that men liked to shag and not marry ... bullshit, I have been in the same relationship for the last 18 years and am married .
It stuck with my head for some reason though.

Pennywhistle Wed 21-Feb-18 01:25:32

Your twins are just so active, you can tell because they are just always covered in bruises. (Said with head tilt).

Pennywhistle Wed 21-Feb-18 01:28:53

I was told by a (rather drunk colleague) “fuck me I didn’t expect your husband to be so good looking”.

She was shaking his hand at the time. gringringrin

She spent the rest of the night attempting to flirt with him.

He was... unimpressed. grin

LemonysSnicket Wed 21-Feb-18 01:30:03

‘I know you have issues but at least you look healthy’

An anorexic to bulimic teenage me.

AlexaAmbidextra Wed 21-Feb-18 01:36:16

A man I was dating when we were talking about our past lives. " You must have been stunning when you were 30." Thanks for that. grin

FastWindow Wed 21-Feb-18 01:37:06

I once gave a compliment that was an insult. Wasn't meant backhanded, I was just 18 and naive.
A colleague had had her hair cut really short and it looked amazing. But instead of just saying she looked great, I said (and I cringe, almost 30 years later)
'Wow, great haircut! When I'm 40 I'll have my hair cut just like that. You look so young!'
Still dying inside.

Pennywhistle Wed 21-Feb-18 01:44:23

Fast gringringrin oh dear, there’s no coming back from that!

Els1e Wed 21-Feb-18 06:56:24

A former bf told me “it’s great being with you, I wish i’d picked personality over looks years ago”. Ugh!

ForTheLoveOfSleep Wed 21-Feb-18 07:01:02

Dsis to me, "I really envy that you don't feel the need to keep your house spotless." hmm

WilburIsSomePig Wed 21-Feb-18 07:03:44

'It must be so much easier to get ready in the mornings when you don't worry about make up/hair etc., I wish I could be like you.'

Said to me by a colleague a couple of weeks ago. I was actually wearing make up at the time. 😁

Thecomfortador Wed 21-Feb-18 07:12:32

You're no supermodel but you're nicer than most girls in town. Said by boyfriend of the time.

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