The things that make you love and desire someone a little bit less every time they do them?
I ask because I see lots of threads on here from people who still claim to be in love with people who (from the outside at least) seem to have no redeeming features at all!!
So, apart from the usual poor personal hygiene and being cruel or abusive etc etc, what kills the passion in your relationships?
For me it is
not knowing when to stop drinking being unable to cook general incompetence (not knowing very basic diy, how to clean or do laundry) being addicted to anything including smart phones not being able to chat and make small talk where required meanness with money
My list is long, which is why I am terminally single. I am also aware I am not the catch of the century, but I am ok with that!
Obv the things you had re hygiene and cruel. Plus big nos for me are: No sense of humour or an inappropriate one Excessive technology use (phone, tv, consoles) Can't drive Bad dress sense Excessive fondness of any hobby or sport including following one Messy Boarder or collector Man who doesn't read Bad fingernails Bad shoes Bad teeth Dope smoker Porn user Crap in bed
Meanness - as in lack of kindness or generosity. I quickly learnt not to ask my ex for help, whereas he thought nothing of demanding something of me. He was incredibly tight with money.
It has had a lasting effect on me - I hate asking people for help or to do something for me, because I expect them to respond like he did. I will always try to help if I can, because it's a nice thing to do.
Smoker (although DH was a smoker when we first got together he has given up now - luckily he ticked every other box! But if I was to ever date again I don't think I would be so relaxed on that)
Lack of enthusiasm/ drive
Awkwardness - I am a quiet shy person so I prefer to be around louder/ less awkward people to get me out my shell.
No hygiene and a messy person generally
Not a family oriented person - DH is super close to his family, this is one of the main things that attracted me to him and he is an amazing dad! Perhaps more important because my mum and Granma live so far (although my dad and brother are very close by and we see them weekly!)
Smoking is a huge one for me. I had an ex who smoked and I hated it. Every time we were together, my clothes and hair stank. His car absolutely reeked. Fortunately DH has never smoked so it was never a problem.
I would have to say laziness. My exP was very laid back and cheery/always pleasant (I initially found that attractive and opposite to my stressiness!) however I realised he was so laidback he was horizontal - lazy in house, and also didn’t contribute into household funds (so complete cocklodger for over 5 years!).
All of the above.....I can't believe now I'm separated from my husband how I will ever find anyone who doesn't have at least one hideous trait! Not that I'm much of a catch myself! My STBEXH did have: Mean with money and that goes hand in hand with meanness in bed in my experience Emotional distant (which actually suited me )
I've just ended a very short dating fling because He couldn't drive Lives with parents in mid 30s Never had a relationship lasting more than a few weeks His mum did all his cooking, cleaning washing No ambition So unattractive to me
Very picky eaters (I don't mean someone who won't eat oysters,or offal,I'm talking about more 'every day' foods like bread,pasta,potatoes,vegetables). Someone who is very religious,to the point that their religion dictates what they think,say and do. Laziness. Won't lift a finger to help around the house. Sexist. As far as he's concerned,men are superior to women in every way. Poor personal hygiene. Secretiveness and lying about things.
All of the above,except poor personal hygiene,are some of the reasons that I am no longer with my ex.