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How do I make friends

(22 Posts)
carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 02:56:33

I moved to a new area (south wales) 2 years ago. I know no one except dp here. I'd like to make friends but not sure how. I'm in my fifties, dd is in sixth form so I don't take her to school, I work from home.

I'm trying to find groups I can attend and have started with an art group but not sure there's anyone there who's friend material.

Anyone else in the same boat?

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 02:57:06

Meant to say, I just need to talk to people and get out more.

RustyPaperclips Sat 17-Feb-18 03:14:34

Try I haven't used it myself but a colleague found it was a good way to meet new people when she moved cities smile

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 03:18:51

Thanks I'll have a look at it.

pipandco Sat 17-Feb-18 03:21:15

Are you a church goer? My mum moved 300 miles away at 58 and found church was a good place to meet people. She also joined the local ** "political party" club is that something you'd consider? Walking clubs ? gym classes like Pilates/yoga? Volunteer work?

I'm in my 20s and really want to move away from my town and go up to Manchester. I love the vibe but am so scared of being lonely. Making friends as an adult is definitely hard work !

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 03:36:03

Thanks for all the suggestions smile I'm not a church goer. I like a bit of a walk but dont walk too far due to health problems. Same goes for exercise.

I've applied for volunteer work as a befriender for the elderly, I'm waiting to hear back.

I'm considering joining slimming world as I could do with losing a couple of stone and might make friends in the process but hate walking into that sort of group alone!

swanmills Sat 17-Feb-18 09:12:08

Volunteer work would definitely help! Can I ask if you're not a church goer as you're a firm non believer? When my DM retired she moved about 200 miles away back to the town she grew up in and knew no one. She isn't a strong believer per se but ended up volunteering at the church and met so many people that way.
Also would you consider something like the WI?

DecisionTree Sat 17-Feb-18 09:35:16

If you like baking you could try your local clandestine cake club - youd need to google that but the clue is in the name. A bit of fun.

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 14:57:48

I'm not sure what the clandestine club is but will have a look! I'm not a great baker.

I'm not at all religious and would feel out of place I'm afraid.

I always think of the WI as being for older women as i used to go with my nan - I'm not sure i feel old enough for that yet.

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 16:24:59

Ok .. no cake club in the UK.

DecisionTree Sat 17-Feb-18 16:36:25

Yes cake club definitely in the uk. I know of one in windsor and horley.

DecisionTree Sat 17-Feb-18 16:37:39

Here you go

MrsElvis Sat 17-Feb-18 16:42:40

Local library? Often lots of events and groups. Slimming world sounds like a great idea - 2 birds 1 stone and all that

teaandtoast Sat 17-Feb-18 16:48:00

Local adult education centre, if you have one? Ours runs all sorts of classes in the day and evening. Dayschools at the weekend too.

PoloPrincess Sat 17-Feb-18 17:20:53

I have been trying to build up my self confidence recently after coming out of an abusive marriage.

Things I've done are:
Joined the WI (yes there are oldies there but there are a few youngsters too). Go along to one meeting as a guest, you don't have to commit.

I've started to play netball once a week, great fun. They also play walking netball.
I've joined a support group and I've made a lovely friend.
Volunteering is good and well done you for signing up. I'm considering signing up for the Cinnamon Trust. I also love my local National Trust property, if you have one they are always looking for volunteers.

Look in your local paper at the events section, there's always something going on somewhere like coffee mornings or book clubs.

Good luck OP.

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 17:24:54

Thanks Polo. Sorry to hear about your marriage. Glad you're managing to get out.

I'm struggling at the moment, bad anxiety, not sure I can attend somewhere like the WI yet. I've started with MIND groups, where people at least understand.

PoloPrincess Sat 17-Feb-18 17:52:42

I was exactly the same OP. It's taken a lot of courage and many sleepless nights and I still get anxious but definitely not as severe. Remember you are in charge of every situation. The first step is always the worst and then you'll soon find that people can be very warm, welcoming and supportive. But if all of a sudden you get anxious and need to leave then leave, so what? Who cares? You've tried and you've done your best. You've just got to find something you enjoy. Have you got any hobbies? Or do you fancy starting a new one? The MIND thing is a very good start. Maybe there's somebody there who feels the same as you so perhaps you could do something together. 💐

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 18:05:17

My only hobbies were dancing (which I can't do alone), reading and going to gigs. I knit a bit but dont know what to knit at the moment.

PoloPrincess Sat 17-Feb-18 19:27:08

It sounds like you've made a good start. You have to give yourself time. Yes dancing is a bit awkward on your own. If there is dancing near to you, you could perhaps put up a little advert in the post office or whatever is local to you asking for a dance partner? (put an age range on the advert though).
How about getting a dog? They get you out and about and you've always meet other doggy people on walks. Try the Cinnamon Trust as I mentioned before or I've just seen something on Facebook called Borrowmydoggy. You live in a beautiful part of the world and there's nothing stopping you from going out and exploring. Do you like nature? Birds? Gardening?

carriewintermeadow Sat 17-Feb-18 19:30:18

Thanks. I tried that but didn't like the partner when we met and there wasn't much choice.

I have emailed Cinnamon but am worried I won't be reliable enough as I still have bad days. I can't have a dog of my own in rented accommodation.

RustyPaperclips Sun 18-Feb-18 03:10:44

It might have already been mentioned but how about joining a book group if you enjoy reading? I would love to join one myself.

If your anxiety is bad at the moment (as is mine) what about setting up an online book group? Perhaps on here, to begin with, I would join smile

carriewintermeadow Sun 18-Feb-18 03:50:09

I couldn't join an actual book group, the thought of speaking about something I've read in front of people frightens me. I like to read but I'm not good at analysing.

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