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Mums with babies should stay out of cafes

(217 Posts)
mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 10:43:26

Watching This Morning (i know, don't judge!). A mum was asked to leave a cafe to 'settle' her newborn baby who had been crying for around 3 minutes because it was disturbing the rest of the cafe.

Two women currently on debating this & one has come up the gem that mums with babies should stay away from cafes altogether!!

Is it any wonder new mums feel so isolated? Apparently there is no reason for a baby to cry for three minutes & therefore the mum was in some way neglecting to tend to her baby's needs!!!

Greensleeves Tue 13-Feb-18 10:46:43

I think that's atrocious. No wonder PND and loneliness are such huge problems for new mums. But I have no patience with people who want to exclude babies and children from social situations in general. They are members of the public. If you don't want to deal with the varied and often irritating behaviour of members of the public, you should stay at home in splendid isolation IMO grin

ChickenPaws Tue 13-Feb-18 10:48:31

That’s a very sad attitude. I’d rather hear a baby crying instead of the awful music they play.

PinkHeart5914 Tue 13-Feb-18 10:50:22

I doubt it was 3 minutes tbh, nobody is going to say on tv well little one had been screaming for 10 minutes and disturbing everyone else are they? As that won’t get them the sympathy vote

I’m a Mum if 3 under 3 and Yes if one of mine starts crying/sulking/moaning etc and can’t be settled quicker they are taken outside as it is rude to disturb everyone else and it’s a pet hate of mine when I’m in a cafe and someone else baby/toddler has been going at it and rather than remove the child and settle it, parents just sit there and allow the child to disturb every other paying customer

Glassofredandapackofcrisps Tue 13-Feb-18 10:51:44

No absolutely mums with babies should go everywhere and anywhere I do! And although 3 minutes seems ridiculous if my baby is annoying people I do get her out of wherever we happen to be.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:00:11

I'm glad it's not just me 🙈 The idea of taking my small baby outside into the cold to try & soothe them because somebody else can't give me time to do so in the warm really pisses me off. And one of the women said 'nobody bats an eyelid with older kids' yet actually for me personally, toddlers running around the place is far more off putting than a baby crying for a few minutes!

The cafe is apparently 'child friendly' - not sure they have proved that this time 😂

Sarahjconnor Tue 13-Feb-18 11:00:29

Parents deserve kindness and empathy - we have all been babies adm screamed the place down. Cafe owners and customers also deserve consideration - for their business and their right to enojoy a quiet break. It is clear to most normal, rational people where the line is between jiggling the baby and leaving the cafe but there are some extremely entitled and unpleasant parents and likewise cafe owners/customers. I witnessed a mum refusing to leave a nativity performance even thou the show had had to stop to accommodate her screaming baby - she just said she was entitled to be there and everyone would have to wait for him to stop. It was so selfish. At my DB wedding, his colleagues wife - not even a close friend- refused to leave despite being asked twice as her baby screamed during the vows. She just refused. Life is complex and tolerance is a virtue smile

FlatWhiteLatte Tue 13-Feb-18 11:01:53

I run a cafe and can actually see both sides.

There have been numerous occasions when a mum/ dad/ family member has just left a baby screaming.

I’ve had other customers get up and walk out because of it.

Of course new mums should go out with their babies, but if they start screaming the place down be ready to make a swift exit to calm them down.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:04:27

If a baby is screaming hysterically for ten minutes & either mum can't or won't do anything then fair enough. The cafe owner's statement said that after a 'couple of minutes' she asked her to step outside to continue trying. A couple of minutes is nothing...and for someone to say a baby shouldn't be crying for three minutes, what planet is she on 😂

PurpleDaisies Tue 13-Feb-18 11:05:39

I’d be surprised if it was only three minutes.

It’s difficult. Screaming babies aren’t conducive to a nice relaxing coffee or talking with friends. It’s not fair in other customers to stay there for ages trying to settle the baby down.

AmberTopaz Tue 13-Feb-18 11:06:08

When I first had a baby I used to meet my NCT group in the local cafe. It was an absolute lifeline for me.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:07:51

Should we go so far as saying cafe owners can state 'adult only'?

A further argument of this, I've found, is people whinge when parents take older children to restaurants etc because they 'don't know how to behave' - how do we expect our kids to learn about behaviour in public if they aren't ever allowed or tolerated anywhere?

Sirzy Tue 13-Feb-18 11:09:21

If you can’t calm your child quickly inside then yes it’s only fair to take them out so as not to disturb others if it is possible to do so. The respect thing has to work both ways surely and I wouldn’t have much respect for anyone who allowed their crying child to disturb others rather than making simple steps to minimise that.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:10:04

Define 'quickly'?

PurpleDaisies Tue 13-Feb-18 11:11:19

Should we go so far as saying cafe owners can state 'adult only'?

I don’t think anyone is saying that. All that needs to happen is if the baby starts screaming for more than a short time, their parents takes them out to settle them down.

PurpleDaisies Tue 13-Feb-18 11:12:43

Define 'quickly'?

Most people will tolerate a baby crying loudly for a little while. It’s pretty obvious when it’s going on for more than is reasonable.

WorraLiberty Tue 13-Feb-18 11:14:34

I can see both sides of this.

Apparently the cafe owner had received a number of complaints recently that the café was 'turning into a crèche.'

They were probably caught in the middle between customers with babies and those without.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:16:33

Purple the woman on TM said exactly that! Mums shouldn't take babies into cafes

Gemini69 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:16:34


PurpleDaisies Tue 13-Feb-18 11:17:38

I meant no one on the thread was saying that.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:18:43

Can we complain about big groups of adults making too much noise 😬 Personally i find noisy adults more frustrating than small people

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:19:29

Oh sorry Purple no nobody on here has. But that was a suggestion from TM

slashlover Tue 13-Feb-18 11:20:07

I think it depends on the parents reaction - parent tries to soothe/discipline child/toddler then I have no problem. Parent ignores screaming child/toddler running around then I have an issue.

GreatDuckCookery Tue 13-Feb-18 11:21:45

Big groups of adults making too much noise? That doesn't really happen though does it?

I don't mind mums with their babies sat in a cafe. I can switch off from crying and noise too. But I get why some people don't like it.

mustbemad17 Tue 13-Feb-18 11:24:10

Great you'd be surprised. Some of the places round here you can barely hear yourself sometimes. But it's okay because they're adults

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