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Having a child with your first cousin

(374 Posts)
SmallBuisnessOwner Tue 30-Jan-18 20:58:30

I've just found out that someone I know is married to and has had a child with her first cousin.

Is it terribly xenophobic to be a bit taken back by this?

I've been looking online and it's not illegal and possibly not much of a risk genetically but still I can't quite get my head around it

KindergartenKop Tue 30-Jan-18 21:04:37

My great grandparents were first cousins!
Major problems start occurring when consanguineous relationships produce children over several generations because the gene pool shrinks. So for example if you marry your cousin and his parents were cousins and his grandparents were uncle and neice etc.

KindergartenKop Tue 30-Jan-18 21:06:32

And it's not xenophobic, it's not related to a particular race or nationality.

EggsonHeads Tue 30-Jan-18 21:07:29

What does it have to xenophobia? It's incest! Locals are just as able as forgeiners to be stupid/ignorant.

Ivymaud Tue 30-Jan-18 21:08:27

Uncle and Niece isn't legal is it, Kinder?

I wouldn't be much taken aback, personally, OP.

Dippingmytoesin Tue 30-Jan-18 21:09:14


SadieHH Tue 30-Jan-18 21:09:46

My first cousin is married to her first cousin (on the other side). They didn’t grow up together but are blissfully happy and have a gorgeous baby. As a one off it’s not a problem, they researched thoroughly and took advice before they married. It’s when it happens over and over that it becomes a problem. If it was a huge deal it would be illegal.

Omgineedanamechange Tue 30-Jan-18 21:10:33

Wouldn’t bat an eyelid, it’s perfectly legal. WTF have Uncle and niece got to do with it though?

PurpleDaisies Tue 30-Jan-18 21:10:40

It is far more common in certain cultures than others.

It’s outside of our society’s norms so it’s not unreasonable to be a bit surprised.

FellOutOfBed2wice Tue 30-Jan-18 21:10:55

I knew someone who married and had children with her first cousin (their Dads were brothers). Then they got divorced. Beyond awkward. Split the family up entirely.

KindergartenKop Tue 30-Jan-18 21:11:14

No uncle and neice isn't legal but I was just using it as a genetic example (and in some countries it does happen).

NE14T Tue 30-Jan-18 21:13:38

I guess it depends really, I don't have a big extended family, a lot of my cousins live in Poland and I've never met them so I don't think it'd be weird particularly if I married one of them? Not that I'm planning to grin

It'd be a different story if we grew up together from childhood obviously.

As Kinder says, a one of inter familial marriage causes negligible problems health wise for children (in most cases) and is legal. I think the 'ickiness' comes from families that are close and can't imagine marrying an obvious member of the family iyswim. My cousins are like strangers to me.

Same with Ex DH who is half Indian and never met most of his Indian cousins. His mum was always trying to marry him off to a random cousin or other before we met!

Ivymaud Tue 30-Jan-18 21:13:55

No capital for niece (correcting self!) Stupid phone!

SmallBuisnessOwner Tue 30-Jan-18 21:14:56

Well xenophobic as it's common in some cultures.

Maybe I've just lived a very sheltered life

PotteringAlong Tue 30-Jan-18 21:16:26

I don’t think you understand what xenophobic means...

It’s legal. It’s fine.

reallyanotherone Tue 30-Jan-18 21:16:33

Medically, it is becoming an issue in cultures where it is normal to marry first cousins and close relatives.

It's very common in the middle east and pakistan. I think the stats are I haven't checked if any formal studies have been done, but many genetics clinics are seeing a larger proportion of patients from those cultures.

In the UK it is legal.

sportyfool Tue 30-Jan-18 21:17:00

I have a son with a genetic condition, when we saw the geneticist she asked us if we were related . Of course we aren't but because a lot of cultures do marry their cousins they have to ask . I wouldn't risk having children !!!

Elend Tue 30-Jan-18 21:19:00

I honestly didn't know this was even legal until recently. I appreciate not everyone grows up with their cousins but it's still so... icky. Sorry, I can't think of a more articulate way to put it. Imagine your kid marrying your sisters kid? May be the norm in other countries or cultures but in the UK it's surely a little bit off?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 30-Jan-18 21:19:52

My cousin was bought up abroad. When we met as teenagers we had a bit of a thing. Then found out about it’s legality (or not) afterwards. Our mums were pleased. It didn’t feel right to me though. It didn’t last long. Then we kept meeting at family gatherings. All a bit odd really.

awankstainonhumanity Tue 30-Jan-18 21:20:17

My friends parents were cousins. Their family was a bit fucked up generally though, so any sort of incest was normalised. They grew up together and everything. My friend was NC for about 30 years but recently got back in touch.

Personally I find it ick, but I guess if I didn't know my cousin's I might not.

PotteringAlong Tue 30-Jan-18 21:20:32

May be the norm in other countries or cultures but in the UK it's surely a little bit off?

Why do you think it’s a bit off?

Dippingmytoesin Tue 30-Jan-18 21:21:11

Well it’s legal here Elend so it’s not that off is it? It was common in the UK too not too long ago.

User255 Tue 30-Jan-18 21:22:11

May be the norm in other countries or cultures but in the UK it's surely a little bit off?

It's as English as Queen Victoria

VladmirsPoutine Tue 30-Jan-18 21:24:03

It's sick as fuck but I'm not going to loudly proclaim my judgement.

Elend Tue 30-Jan-18 21:24:11

Ok guys, if you think its fine to marry your blood relatives by all means have at it. Shout "it's legal" from the rooftops. Personally I'll give it a pass.

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