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Would you leave your 10 year old by themselves for a short while ?

(23 Posts)
Vanillamanilla1 Tue 23-Jan-18 14:56:24

I start work at 5pm .. dp gets home around 5.15pm tonight ( a bit of a late one )
I need to leave home at 4.10pm so for an hour and 5 minutes I was going to leave dd by herself ... I've started to leave her for short periods .. 15 minutes here and there .. I used to be left by myself , it made me feel more grown up , she's craving a little independence and want some to be left for short periods here and there .
This will be the longest I've left her ... it'll make her a tea cake and a squash , tell her under no circumstances whatsoever to answer the door and she will probably spend the whole time on her tablet to be honest .. she's fairly sensible . ( I only say fairly because although I do trust her and she hasn't shown me any reason why she shouldn't be left it's always daunting to think " what if X happens ")
The neighbour next door is never there and the other side is empty . But I'm sure if she went screaming out in the street because something severe happened then someone would help , I'm only at the other end of a phone , she has my number and I can answer at anytime
Dp is not keen , but at some point she needs to be left and be trusted
Would you ?

JennyOnAPlate Tue 23-Jan-18 14:58:40

Yes I would. My eldest is almost ten and has been left for 20 minutes a few times and was perfectly happy. I would leave her for an hour as long as she could contact me/dh if she needed us.

MirandaWest Tue 23-Jan-18 14:58:50

I would and did leave mine at that age and for that time

BertieBotts Tue 23-Jan-18 14:59:47

Yes, especially if she can reach you by phone and knows what to do in an emergency.

BearSoFair Tue 23-Jan-18 15:00:11

I would and have done with 10yo DD.

treaclesoda Tue 23-Jan-18 15:00:44

I would if the child was happy with it. Mine would refuse, but most children I know would love it and would relish being treated in a more grown up way.

QuiteLikely5 Tue 23-Jan-18 15:02:01

If she has access to a phone and you could alert a trusted neighbour

Makinglists Tue 23-Jan-18 15:02:53

Does she have a phone/know how to use landline? How does she feel about being on her own. Providing all parties are happy and there is a clear 'emergency'plan ID say ok. Ds1 is 11 and i leave him for an hour or two on the days i work. I started leaving him on his own last year when he was 10/11 in year 6. Any more than 2 hours though and i would say no.

GreenBook Tue 23-Jan-18 15:03:15

Yes. I leave my 9yo for 20 minutes, by the time she’s 10 I would leave her for up to an hour. As long as you impose some safety rules (like not opening the door, having her phone handy, not using the cooker) and she knows what to do if she can’t get hold of you and there’s a problem she can’t deal with, then that’s fine.

londonpia Tue 23-Jan-18 15:03:24

I did it the other day, for an hour. DS was off school ill, and my other DS was at school. I told him not to eat-I just worried irrationally about choking. He knows not to answer the door, not to go climbing furniture etc.

cottagecheesecrumpets Tue 23-Jan-18 15:06:55

My Mam left me for short periods at that time. I turned 11 in August and started secondary school in September and by then I had a key to let myself in the house and stay there until my Mam got in from work smile don't think it would be a problem if she's sensible, just explain about not answering the door etc.

phoenix1973 Tue 23-Jan-18 15:07:47

I would and i have. So yes.

SandyDenny Tue 23-Jan-18 15:19:22

I would and have done.

I'm sure someone will be along soon to tell you that your house will spontaneously combust as soon as your back is turned though.

Hippadippadation Tue 23-Jan-18 16:44:11

If she is sensible then I would. I can see my DD1 being sensible enough at this age for me to leave her for that long.

SadieHH Tue 23-Jan-18 16:51:02

Yes I started leaving mine last year for up to half an hour at 9. Now she’s 10 I’ll increase it to an hour! As long as the child is happy and has access to a phone then if they’re happy to be left I’d do it.

TowerRingInferno Tue 23-Jan-18 16:52:09

Yes, I would (and do so)

Fightthebear Tue 23-Jan-18 20:20:00

Yes, providing your dd is ok with it.

TheTurnOfTheScrew Tue 23-Jan-18 20:27:41

Fine if she's happy with it. I leave my nearly 11yo for up to two hours now and then.

Have a think about grounds rules - I ask my DD to stay off the internet other than CBBC, as I still like to keep half an eye on her web access. When I first left her I also asked her not to use the kettle. Make sure she can get out if there's a fire (it's only recently DD1 has been able to work the back door locks), and that she knows what the smoke alarm sounds like.

Onemorecornetto Tue 23-Jan-18 21:12:39

Do you think that having access to a phone is essential in these situations? I’ve started leaving my (just) 9 year old for 15 minutes max while I drop her brother at clubs etc but she doesn’t have a phone and we don’t have a landline. I went through all the major (but very unlikely) ‘what ifs’ and agreed that in case of a fire or me being back more than 15 minutes late (in case I met a terrible fate whilst out) she would go to a neighbours. Is that ok?

BertieBotts Tue 23-Jan-18 21:51:08

It's just about being able to access help so they aren't completely on their own and make a poorly executed decision about how to deal with a situation. So access to a neighbour also works.

Onemorecornetto Tue 23-Jan-18 22:00:59

It’s tricky isn’t it-getting the balance between them knowing what to do in certain situations/emergencies vs scaring them shitless!

TheBookThief Tue 23-Jan-18 22:40:27

Yes, I left DS for 1.5 hours today while I went to work (he was off school ill, but not unwell enough to not be left alone)
He is aware of the list of Dos and Don'ts and has both my and DH phone numbers if need be.

TheBookThief Tue 23-Jan-18 22:41:38

Should have said my DS is 9

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