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How do you manage school days?

(42 Posts)
cjt110 Tue 23-Jan-18 08:34:59

I ask because I currently work 830 - 5. My husband works 8-4 (soon to change to 8-2). Our son starts school in September.

It dawned on me yesterday that I wont ever get to pick my son up from school. I know this might sound such a small thing but I will get all the "fun" of the rushed morning to get DS to school (and have to speak to my employer about having a flexible start time due to school starting at 850) and none of the collections where he tells me aboiut his day.

Again, this might seem a really small thing but it's upset me a bit.

I dont think there any way I could cut my hours back to suit at work as my department needs to be manned during working hours.

The only thing would mean finding another job and cutting back my hours which I don't think we could do financially.

So, how do you do it?

CMOTDibbler Tue 23-Jan-18 08:39:28

Mine has always been happy to tell me about his day when I pick him up from after school club, or when I see him. Neither of us has dropped off/picked up from the classroom as a normal thing (we try on a Friday afternoon), and its been fine tbh.
Your ds will get his dad picking him up everyday, and thats great smile

SandLand Tue 23-Jan-18 08:39:50

You delight in the fact that a parent will be able to collect your son every day, and you dont have thecadded complexity of childminders/afterschool clubs.
Sounds like you are looking at changing your start time, and be term time childcare free. Sounds like a fantastic arrangement.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Tue 23-Jan-18 08:40:11

So you can drop your DS off and your DH can pick him up?

Can you look at it from the perspective of how lucky you are to be able to do this between you, and not have to put DS in wraparound care?

I’m sure that your DS will tell you about his day when you get home from work. And in the kindest possible way, it’s a bit of an overreaction to be considering changing jobs over this. Between you, you and your DH seem to have the best of both worlds n terms of working and looking after DS.

cjt110 Tue 23-Jan-18 08:42:43

I hadn't thought of it in the way that we won't have wraparound care. I suppose I just thought aboiut how I've never really been able to pick him up. He's in a private nursery and has been since 6m and DH and I have always had the same arrangement. I drop off and he collects. Luckily nursery is open til 6 and DS is there 8-5 so on occassions I have picked him up.

I just worry he will feel like I'm never there when he finishes school.


2ndSopranos Tue 23-Jan-18 08:50:56

IME, between YR and Y4, all you get following "What did you get up to today?" is "Don't know... Can't remember". And then you've got the playground politics. And the "My little Jacinta read Little Women last night - I'm going to demand the teacher moves her from ORT pink to free reading immediately!!!!" and the "Oh, you go on holiday there, do you. That's nice..."

I thank God that mine are at after school club five days a week and DH and I share the drop-off. It's a much happier arrangement!

cjt110 Tue 23-Jan-18 08:52:23

Thats interesting 2nd I must say we don't get any of that at nursery as people are collecting/dropping off at different times.

DavidPuddy Tue 23-Jan-18 08:53:44

Maybe occasionally you could work a half day? Then it will be really exciting for your son when you pick him up?

Shadow666 Tue 23-Jan-18 08:54:57

My sons absolutely refuse to tell me about their day. I find they are more open to talking before they go to sleep.

Working and childcare is hard and it sounds like you have a good arrangement so dont worry about it.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions Tue 23-Jan-18 08:59:49

Ime with godchildren and sunlings children pick up is
Cam i go and play at freddies/can fredina come and play at ours from the little ones followed by how far a head jacinta of everyone from the parents.
The answer to how was your day is often ok and what did you do is er stuff of uou even get that.

In reality your not going to miss much

Branleuse Tue 23-Jan-18 08:59:58

the afternoon school run where they are exhausted and whinge all the way home, is not as exciting as it sounds

2ndSopranos Tue 23-Jan-18 09:00:51

That's the thing about school - they are all dropped off and collected at the same time.

And to echo a pp, on the days when I'm not in work of an afternoon for any reason, they don't got to after school club and I pick them up at the playground. It's a nice treat for all of us smile.

TornadoOfToys Tue 23-Jan-18 09:02:38

Mine never say anything beyond "nothing" or "I don't know" when the get home. Often then speak about it at the meal table or in bed. They seem to need time to wind down and process their day before talking about it.
You'll be there in the morning, my DC (DD especially) are more upset if I'm not there in the morning than if grandma or DH pick them up.

cjt110 Tue 23-Jan-18 09:05:00

I suppose it's what DS has always been used to. I appreciate all of your replies and sharing your experience.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats Tue 23-Jan-18 09:06:58

I have been super lucky in that the last three years I have been a sahm and now my hours are 10-2 but previously with my eldest two they'd just tell me what they done when I picked them up and we were doing their homework. And days I was off on holiday was so exciting for them that I was going to get them and instead of just going home we would go do something like the library together or costa for a hot chocolate.

Id definitely try focus on how good it is that you don't need wraparound care and he will have a parent dropping off and one picking up. And to be honest in the beginning dropping off is the most important as they are sometimes nervous/apprehensive for a couple of weeks so you need to talk them down and build them up. By the time they hit p3 I never got much feedback anyway.

Parker231 Tue 23-Jan-18 09:09:39

I’ve never done school drop offs. DH did the morning drop at breakfast club and I collected from after school club. It didn’t make any difference as if you asked about their day as soon as they came home, they would say they had done ‘nothing ‘. They were more likely to tell things during dinner or bedtime.

DontCallMeJohnBoy Tue 23-Jan-18 09:13:15

I only do one pick up a week, and also get to drop him off at breakfast club 3 mornings a week, so I miss out on afternoons and get to shove him out of bed / the door at 7.25am. Yeah!

Can you use a breakfst club if you don't want / can't change your start time (my experience of my and colleagues / friends is that you ask and employers say no so have something else up your sleeve)? My son loves breakfast club as he gets to see friends he doesn't generally encounter at school, from different years etc.

Pick ups are less exciting / important to your DS than the sessions when you go in - Nativity play, reading / display your work to mum etc. So long as you can get leave to go to those, your DS won't mind. And DS and I tell each other about our day when he's in bed, so you can still get his day in mind-numbing detail if you really want it. grin

Good luck with it OP.

Worlds0kayestmum Tue 23-Jan-18 09:13:43

I just get 'i can't remember' when asked what she did whilst dumping all her bookbags/lunchboxes/snackpot/water bottle on me, asking for snacks and what's for dinner before immediately disappearing to her bedroom.
It's always hard to think you are missing out on parts of your child's life so I do sympathise but I think you will find it isn't as bad as you think it will be

cjt110 Tue 23-Jan-18 09:16:00

Do breakfast clubs at schools cost? I havent even thought about those!

Worlds0kayestmum Tue 23-Jan-18 09:17:34

My school's breakfast club is £5 a session

MsJuniper Tue 23-Jan-18 09:36:24

I finish work early one day a week to collect DS and work one day late. It works pretty well but he also goes to after school club on other days and enjoys that too. I think your arrangement sounds like it will work well but I understand why you feel a bit sad.

Once your son starts school there will probably be a long list of parent activities eg nature walks, arty days, Christmas fair etc. Maybe you could arrange to take annual leave on some of these days so you still get to take part and connect with school life? It will probably be more fun to do those than the pickups.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats Tue 23-Jan-18 09:52:13

Yeah it costs but morning club is cheaper than after school club at our school.

BitchQueen90 Tue 23-Jan-18 09:56:34

What 2nd says. I do all pickups (DS is in reception) and honestly every day when I ask about his day I get "don't know" or "can't remember."

nirubewotu Tue 23-Jan-18 11:10:16

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

shouldawouldadid Tue 23-Jan-18 11:18:42

My eldest ds started reception last year, I'm lucky in that I only work 4 days so do get to pick him up twice a week(I work weekends too), the days I pick him up all I get in response to every question is "can't remember"!
He goes to breakfast club and after school on the days I'm working, £3.50 for the morning session and £6.50 for after school. He honestly seems disappointed the days I'm picking him up that he doesn't get to go to after school club!
We find he is more chatty after he's chilled out for a while and opens up a bit more by bath time!

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