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Non approved childhood rhymes

(195 Posts)
crunchymint Tue 16-Jan-18 18:03:35

DP and I were talking about the kinds of rhymes and chants that we heard or said as kids that would not have been approved of by our parents, like the one below. Do you remember any?

Rhythm is a dancer
Smoking causes cancer
Needles give you HIV
Boys can give you babys
Dogs can give you rabies
That's why I'm on ecstacy

FlibbertyGiblets Tue 16-Jan-18 18:18:57

shock at yours, OP.

inky pinky par lay vous was the worst I can remember. My mum smacked my hand for saying Fart. Jeepers!

crunchymint Tue 16-Jan-18 18:32:45

Its not as if my parents ever heard it.

MissionItsPossible Tue 16-Jan-18 18:34:09

Your mama's got no money
Your dad is on the dole
So you went down to Aldi
To steal a sausage roll.
You're on the ruuuuun with an Aldi sausage roll.
You're on the ruuuuun with an Aldi sausage roll.

(To the tune of Freed from Desire) Mine's not really that offensive though. I love yours OP! grin

MissionItsPossible Tue 16-Jan-18 18:36:46

Oh there was also one about 'Asher the Basher, willy willy wanker' but they actually heard me say that one and made me say 'willy willy wonka' instead lol (I didn't know what wanker was so went along with it)

Katescurios Tue 16-Jan-18 18:37:51

Same as you Op, also a play on the Fraggle Rock theme tune.

Down at Fraggle rock
Grab a Fraggle by the cock
Swing him in the air
Catch him by his pubic hair

Ah the innocence of youth.

DailyMaileatmyshit Tue 16-Jan-18 18:39:35

This is number one and there's something going on in the bedroom dadada dadada
This is number 2 and I'm sitting on the loo
3 and his hand is on my knee
4 and I'm lying on the floor
5 and his hands are on his flies
6 and my hand is on his dick
7 and we're on the way to heaven
8 and he's closing the gate
9 and the baby's doing fine

We sang it from about 8 years old. Sounds much more rapey reading it now than it really was!

crunchymint Tue 16-Jan-18 18:47:14

I have heard that one too from kids I worked with.

ClashCityRocker Tue 16-Jan-18 18:47:39

I am a Yorkshire lass
I wear my hair in plaits
I wear my dungarees
Up to me sexy knees

I met a boy one day
Whilst on holiday
He gave me fifty p
To have it off with me

He pulled my knickers down
And flung me to the ground
He shouted '1 2 3'
Then stuck it in to me

My mother was surprised
To see my belly rise
My father jumped for joy
It was a baby boy

Skipping song we used to sing when we were eight or nine.

FreshGarbage Tue 16-Jan-18 18:49:18

Ooh aah I've lost my bra! I left my knickers in my boyfriends car!

Smarmydrippings Tue 16-Jan-18 18:50:05

Ollie Ollie Ollie
Tits in a trolley
Balls in an old tin can
Laying on the grass
With a finger up your arse
Anything to get a man

blush

DailyMaileatmyshit Tue 16-Jan-18 18:51:19

clash we sang something similar

BothersomeCrow Tue 16-Jan-18 18:52:37

1980s - Susie (when Susie was a teenager, she went ooh, ah, I've lost my bra! I've left my knickers in my boyfriend's car! Etc)
One for French Elastics - Granny put her knickers on, in, side, out

Lots of versions of 'I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread' And one that we realised even at the time was racist as well as rude - Ching Chong Chinaman went to milk a cow.

Long bus rides to school... the jokes were filthy too but we didn't really understand them.

Smarmydrippings Tue 16-Jan-18 18:54:37

And the course song. Not sure I remember it all.

The first time I saw her
She was all in white
All in white
All in white
She looked a fucking sight
Down in the meadow
Where no body goes.
The next time I saw her
She was all in pink.
All in pink
All in pink
She made my fingers stink
Etc
And so on

crunchymint Tue 16-Jan-18 18:54:38

Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her between two hunks of bread

iklboo Tue 16-Jan-18 18:54:44

A man's occupation
Is to stick his cockulation
In a woman's ventilation
To improve the population
Of the younger generation

Kraggle Tue 16-Jan-18 18:54:48

Mines very similar to Clashrockers;

We are the barbie girls
We have our hair in curls
We wear our dungarees to show our sexy knees
You know the boy next door
He had me on the floor
He gave me 50pence to go behind the fence
He pulled my knickers down
He counted one, two, three
We had it off, uh uh, we had it off, uh uh
My mother was surprised
To see my belly rise
My father jumped for joy
It was a baby boy.

Sang that in primary school. I’d hate dd to sing it!

Spangles7 Tue 16-Jan-18 18:55:14

Cinderella
Dressed in yellow
Went upstairs to kiss her fella
By mistake she kissed his snake
How many kisses did it take? 1,2,3 etc

Skipping rhyme age 5- shocking!

VinnyTheVagina Tue 16-Jan-18 18:55:33

My old man's a dustman,
He wears a dustmans' hat,
He farmed through the keyhole and paralysed the cat.

I stuck my finger up the woodpeckers' hole and the woodpecker said 'gawd bless my soul.'

Kraggle Tue 16-Jan-18 18:56:40

Clashcityrocker sorry!

VinnyTheVagina Tue 16-Jan-18 18:57:02

Farted *

Smarmydrippings Tue 16-Jan-18 19:00:07

We also had an unhealthy knowledge of Good ship Venus.

WestleyAndButtockUp Tue 16-Jan-18 19:04:29

My friend Billy had a ten-foot willie
and he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake
so she cut it with a rake
And now it's only five-foot-four.

Wakeuptortoise Tue 16-Jan-18 19:04:34

Who makes these up and teaches to little, older siblings?! shock
Ip dip dog shit, fucking bastard, smelly git, you are not it.
Who's that walking down the street, smelly legs and hairy feet, it's Grandad!
Never in front of the olds.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree Tue 16-Jan-18 19:05:35

shock at some of these!!

In 1996 the queen pulled down her knicks
She licked her bum
And said “yum yum,
it tastes like weetabix”

Spider spider on the wall
You think you’re smart, You know fuck all
That wall you’re on has just been plastered
Now you’re stuck, you stupid bastard

There was a wee lady of 92
She did a wee fart and away it blew
Up the hill, down the lane
Into the farmer’s window pane
The farmer got the gun
Shit the fart up the hill
Down the lane
Into the wee lady’s bum again.

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