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Worried about party no shows

(24 Posts)
Namechange16 Mon 18-Dec-17 21:13:41

I gave out party invitations on friday with a rsvp by 29/12. I've only invited 6 to a tea party in January and my dd is going to be 5.

I haven't gelled well with the other mums. I'm socially awkward, work 3 days a week and feel on the edge of the circle as it were on the 2 days I do the school run.

I'm worried that no one will come because of me and it will spoil my dd's birthday. Or perhaps with all the Christmas cards in the children's bags, maybe the party invitations will be overlooked.

Would it look too keen to facebook message the mums I recognised to see if they received the invite?

I just don't want my dd's birthday to be ruined because of my social ineptitude.

TeenTimesTwo Mon 18-Dec-17 21:17:06

I don't see why not.

But in future I suggest you put the party back by a week or 2 and give out invites on the second day of the January term.
I'm mega organised but I still might well miss an invitation in the last few days of the Christmas term.

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 18-Dec-17 21:17:23

When did you give out the invitations? I barely know any of the other mums as I work full time and am never at pick up and drop off but we've always had a good turn out at our DSs parties because they come for your DC, not for you.

I always have a nervous few weeks where I think no one is going to respond, but they do. I wouldn't send out anything on FB just yet - everyone's up to their eyeballs at this time of year.

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 18-Dec-17 21:19:56

Sorry - you said you gave them out Friday. It's only Monday! I'm one that responds to invitations the day I get them then puts them in the diary (otherwise I'd forget about them completely and never do it) but I'm a bit odd. Most RSVPs come a good week or two later I've found.

Namechange16 Mon 18-Dec-17 21:21:46

I usually rsvp immediately too but I've got to realise that not everyone does that.

So shall I just leave it until the deadline date then?

stella23 Mon 18-Dec-17 21:27:27

Leave it a bit, then message saying the invite may have been missed due to Christmas cards

Namechange16 Wed 20-Dec-17 21:49:05

Still no replies. I bet they've been talking to each other, realised it's a small tea party rather than a party of 30 kids and have been put off. I guess some people don't want to go to a strangers house. Might have been too much to expect? I don't know.

Starlight2345 Wed 20-Dec-17 21:52:00

I think you are overthinking this ..Most people are knee deep in Christmas and thinking very little beyond.

AntiHop Wed 20-Dec-17 21:53:04

I think it's OK to chase them but leave it until next week.

stella23 Thu 21-Dec-17 17:58:55

Leave it till after Christmas

SkyIsTooHigh Thu 21-Dec-17 18:14:55

You are totally overthinking this. How long after school goes back is the party?

(btw small parties at home have been my children's favourites!)

Bringmewineandcake Thu 21-Dec-17 18:23:40

In my v limited experience of also having a reception child, the bigger more anonymous parties have so far had a much better turn out than the tea party style parties. The parents don’t know each other yet and I would imagine don’t feel comfortable sitting in someone’s house, compared to an hour or two at a soft play centre with plenty of room. They’re not old enough to drop and run yet especially as the parents aren’t acquainted, so they may well not attend for that reason.

McSleepy Thu 21-Dec-17 22:07:55

I would say you're overthinking. This week is ridiculously busy, so many things to remember. I completely forgot my child is due to attend a party tomorrow until I had a text reminder an hour ago (I've rsvp'd, it's on the calendar and I've arranged for a grandparent to take him as I'll be at work so he can definitely go but I'd forgotten). My son also has lots of cards he's brought home from school that we've just not had time to open yet. I definitely would not have got round to sending you an rsvp yet. Plus I massively prefer small parties, it sounds like a great idea. Don't panic. A gentle reminder over Facebook nearer to the party date is fine.

Namechange16 Thu 04-Jan-18 08:38:36

Feel so bad for my dd. 1 person has said yes, I've had 2 nos and 3 no replies. I sent out 2 more invites to replace the 2 who declined. One of them declined. So now I have 4 no replies.

I should just cancel shouldn't I. To top it off one of the no replies actually said verbally that she's coming (before xmas) but she hasn't text me yet for the address...I just received a party invite for the day after my dd's party from this woman. I don't know whether I should use the mobile number to contact her and ask if she's still coming and then accept her invite if she is?

Sorry if you're bored reading this. I'm bored of the whole thing. I feel sad for my dd because I tried to break it gently to her that only one person is coming. Wwyd?!

shortgreengiraffe Thu 04-Jan-18 08:41:20

Yes chase up the one who verbally said yes but hasn't asked for the address. Write on the assumption she is still coming.

If you can ask the others, do. And if you can invite any others do that too.

If it's just one or two friends could you do something different? Special treat day out?

Namechange16 Thu 04-Jan-18 09:40:56

Well she's only 5 and I wanted to do a tea party. That's the thing isn't it....people have these huge softplay parties and invite 40 people expecting maybe half to turn up.

I'll text the verbal woman later then. That'll make 2 kids!

Namechange16 Thu 04-Jan-18 09:41:50

Should I resend out the no replies...perhaps they've lost the invites? I've done that recently!

shortgreengiraffe Fri 05-Jan-18 09:53:29

Yes chase the no replies. They may have forgotten with Xmas. When is the party?

You could take them out for a tea party at a local cafe. Might make them feel more grown up and special.

SnowFairyDust Fri 05-Jan-18 09:59:02

Oh OP I think you've got yourself into a bit of a tizz about this but yes, send a nice happy message to the non responders now something along the lines of 'DD is really hoping that 'Child' can make it to her tea party on date & time, it would be lovely lovely to have you with us, I'd be really grateful if you could let me know by date'

Bright and breezy, happy happy, you can do this!

SnowFairyDust Fri 05-Jan-18 09:59:38

Only one lonely will be plenty though! blush

SnowFairyDust Fri 05-Jan-18 09:59:55

Lovely 🙄

Namechange16 Sun 07-Jan-18 09:22:52

Thanks for all your advice. I've learnt a few things that I'll do next year, mainly I'll give the invites on the first day of term rather than before Christmas.

At the moment I have 3 text acceptances and 1 verbal, who I will send another invite to on Monday with my number on it with a note asking her to confirm so I know hiw much food to get. She said she saw the reply by date too late and didn't think it was ok to reply late. Lesson learned.

4 is a great number, plus 2 dds is 6 and feels like a nice tea party. Still got one who hasn't replied, but pretty sure they're a no anyway.

Thanks again.

shortgreengiraffe Mon 08-Jan-18 08:27:09

That is good news!

The lady who verbally said yes - why do you need to chase her? If it is just to give her your address send her a note with it and your phone number and say you'll see her on X date b

Unicornfluffycloudsandrainbows Mon 08-Jan-18 08:34:32

January is a funny month after Christmas I know because my birthday is January and everyone seems to be on a downer and abit deflated after Christmas. I think tea parties are ok if they are in entablished friendships for a few year but not something I would do in reception. It seems to be class parties in the first few years whilst they form friendships. I would also feel uncomfortable going to someone’s house who I didn’t know very well so it’s the same thing how you feel I suppose. You tend to have much smaller parties as they get older. It’s not a slight on you or your dd.

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