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Can you get yourself out of depression?

(25 Posts)
Forbidden Sat 16-Dec-17 21:32:50

Posting here for traffic

I think I’m depressed. I don’t want to be. Practical tips to get myself out of it please. Other than ADs, which I’m not adverse to but would rather sort the problem rather than just dull it.

Notevilstepmother Sat 16-Dec-17 21:40:40

My experience is that the right ads make it possible to do the practical things needed to get out of it. But your mileage may vary...

Practical ideas.

Get dressed and leave the house every single day.
Have a shower and make time for self care every day. Paint your nails or do your roots or shave your legs. Stuff like that.
Get some books and sit somewhere nice to read them.
Borrow a dog.
Cook something nice.

Littlelambpeep Sat 16-Dec-17 21:42:56

I don't know.. I tried ad's but they didn't make any difference.

Wolfiefan Sat 16-Dec-17 21:44:15

Exercise.
Get outside.
Deal with any underlying issues.

ohlittlepea Sat 16-Dec-17 21:45:33

The Mind website is fab for this. Theres quite a few thinga that are proven to help, however it all sprt of depends on being well enough to do those things in the first place. Anti deppressants can be one coping tool in a toolbox of many things.
Mindfulness and disciplined exercise keep me well.

Sparklingbrook Sat 16-Dec-17 21:46:27

I really tried. Getting outside and exercising does really help, and getting vitamin D.

But in the end I did go onto ADs and they helped massively to get over the worst of it. I also had some counselling which also helped.

tigerdriverII Sat 16-Dec-17 21:46:42

Talking therapy. I’ve had depression for 30 years. Psychotherapy has got the depression away, but given me a lot to deal with, in a helpful way.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 16-Dec-17 21:46:52

Depends on the type.

Reactive depression - something bad happened (death/bullying/abusive relationship) - it's very possible to recover slowly without them

Clinical chemical imbalance? Anti depressants help you to do the practical work like therapy/exercise/nutrition/gentle nurturing

Babababababybel23 Sat 16-Dec-17 21:49:14

Find someone to talk to. Anybody. It doesn't have to be talking about your depression. Just have a conversation with someone. My dh got me out of mine. We had only been together a few weeks when my dad died. Talking helps massively xxx hope you find something that helps you

Skittlesandbeer Sat 16-Dec-17 21:50:18

I reckon there’s no ‘one thing’, and if it’s proper depression (there are online questionnaires) rather than low mood you’ll still need to address the antidepressants side of things.

For me the magic formula has been:
ADs (third type was the charm)
Scheduled physical exercise
Talk therapy

The DIY approach seems unlikely to work, for me that would mean using the defective tool (my brain) to fix the problem (still my brain).

Your positive attitude about depression, and willingness to try things and ask advice will be great assets, though. Good luck.

TyneTeas Sat 16-Dec-17 21:50:29

A colleague was telling me how helpful they had found www.blurtitout.org recently.

Believeitornot Sat 16-Dec-17 21:52:35

Exercise. Get a dvd or go out for a daily walk.

Have a cold shower if you can. I used to do it at the end of my proper shower. Five minutes of cold water.

Stop drinking alcohol.

elmo1980 Sat 16-Dec-17 22:02:55

I bought a book called 'cognitive behavioural therapy for dummies' and felt like I had reprogrammed my brain. I didn't like being on ad's and 15 years later i still use the tools in that book whenever i feel things getting out of hand.

However, my depression was mild so I think it really does depend on the type and there is certainly no shame in taking ad's if that's what you need.

OrangeFluff Sat 16-Dec-17 22:03:38

Agree with PPs. Get up, washed and dressed everyday. Take care in your appearance to help boost your confidence.

Get outside everyday, even if its just in your own garden. I find the fresh air and nature can really lift my mood.

Try and see a supportive friend/family member at least once a week. It can feel easier to hide away, but I always feel better for it afterwards.

neonpink Sat 16-Dec-17 22:08:37

small steps, daily.

change your room around, clear out old junk - does wonders for me when I am feeling low.

book a haircut, or dye your hair - something little to make you feel better

swim, sauna, steam

book something to look forwards to - tickets to an event, or weekend away / daytrip

QuentinSummers Sat 16-Dec-17 22:10:27

In my experience, no you can't and thinking you can in itself is a symptom of depression.
For me, when I'm well I don't understand why I wouldn't take the pills cos they work. When I'm ill I feel like it's another sign I've failed and if I just tried harder/pulledmyself together/was a normal person I would get over it. Which is damaging and part of feeling worthless and a failure.

Smarmydrippings Sat 16-Dec-17 22:12:55

No I've never come out of depression without medication.
I hope you find a way to feel better flowers

Imaginosity Sat 16-Dec-17 22:15:05

Have you tried anti depressants before? For me they didn't 'dull it' - but made me feel 'normal'. I was able to enjoy day to day things insted of everything seeming grey and boring and empty.

Othet than that CBT is highly recomended - i would do it along with anti- depressants.

Exercise boosts serotonin levels.

septembersapphire Sat 16-Dec-17 22:15:06

I think I can, but you may not be able to, and both are fine flowers

Depression is an arse. Personally, the hardest thing for me is that the things I know will help are the things I really don’t want to do, so cleaning (the house) bathing, walks in the fresh air (cliche I know - do you have a national trust membership? Mine is the best depression battler ever tbh!)

But I know some people just wouldn’t be able to manage those things when very unwell.

Forbidden Sat 16-Dec-17 22:18:05

Wow lots of responses already, thank you.

Laurie I think reactive depression as I’ve had a bit of a run of bad or stressful things lately. However I have always had extremely low self esteem which doesn’t help.

Ok so I already walk a lot, shower every day, get dressed every morning. I read every night, actually read a bit this morning too which was rare as I usually feel like I should be ‘doing’ during the day rather than relaxing. And I rarely drink. I could do a bit more grooming to feel better about myself, haven’t dyed my hair for a few months and it’s extremely streaky, eyebrows need attention too.

Talking makes me feel a bit awkward. One of my main issues comes from my childhood relationship with my mum, literally every time I confided in her or tried to talk to her about stuff I was upset about she would be outright nasty or store it up and use it against me later. Same when I was in an abusive marriage and tried to talk to her about it. We get on pretty well now but I would never open up to her. I have friends that I talk to, but I chat about lighthearted stuff. DP is great but doesn’t get my low self esteem at all and thinks I should be able to just turn it off somehow.

Forbidden Sat 16-Dec-17 22:25:29

Quentin that does resonate actually. But then I remember how 18 months ago in the depths of baby dd not sleeping there were a few occasions where I felt like running out of the house and drowning myself in the sea and I got over feeling like that without meds...

Imaginosity yes I was on a low dose a few years ago to try to regulate my pmt, it did dull stuff back then, lows felt less low but I also took less pleasure in good things than I normally would. They just kind of evened everything out of that makes sense.

Skittlesandbeer Sat 16-Dec-17 22:30:45

Sounds like one of the Talk Therapies would be right for you.

Don’t think of it as similar to talking with a friend, partner or family member. It’s an entirely different thing. Just because you’ve found talking to people in your world difficult or stressful, don’t avoid therapy for that reason.

The ‘opening up’ part is just a natural progression when the therapist asks you questions. Their skills, the fact you are in safe space and are proactively choosing to improve your thinking/programming- these things make all the difference.

As with the antidepressants, the first attempt or two may not be the right fit for you. A good referral (or three!) is gold. You’ll also need to experiment a bit with ‘dosage’, that is, how frequently you see your therapist, in the beginning. Don’t give up or get disheartened, the epiphanies you’ll experience will be sooooo worth it!

QuentinSummers Sat 16-Dec-17 22:31:05

Well hopefully you will forbidden!
Unfortunately for me the next step is starting to think the world would be better without me and from there planning how I would kill myself which really does mean medication. Then i always kick myself for not going sooner.
It sucks hugely, whatever works for you, just don't be trying things because you feel like you "should". Depressed brains aren't a good judge of the best course of action.

Tensecondrule Sat 16-Dec-17 22:36:49

I did. I found cognitive behaviour therapy books helped a great deal, they helped me understand that my life wasn’t actually shit and it was my dodgy thought processes that were the problem. Making lists of things I had to do and ticking them off was useful, taking up walking also helped. That’s not to say I don’t ever have depressed days, but the difference now is I know it’s just an off day and that tomorrow I’ll likely feel much better.

Imaginosity Sat 16-Dec-17 23:11:39

I wouldn't rule anti-depressants out based on your past experience. Sometimes they can raise your mood up that bit needed to motiviate yourself to do other things like CBT. Also, sometimes it takes a bit of time to find the right medication for you - or you may need to increase the dose. I was on a very high dose of one type for a few years and it made me feel so normal - but being normal felt amazing after feeling down for so long. I remember going out and enjoying simple things like a cup of coffee instead of just feeling flat and gloomy.

I'm currently depressed but there is a reason I can't take anti-d's just now but I will be taking them as soon as I can. Some suggestions like get a hair-cut or go for a walk wouldn't really help me now. They might temporarily make me feel slightly less down but nothing significant. I can't really even motivate myself to do things like that just now. I can't take proper enjoyment from things the way other people can when I'm like this.

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