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Wedding gifts

(10 Posts)
LoveInTokyo Sat 16-Dec-17 17:32:11


I'm getting married soon and was wondering what to do about gifts. We aren't doing a gift list because we don't need any stuff and couldn't fit anything else in our flat anyway.

I would be happy to receive no presents at all, especially because about half our guests will be travelling a long way to get to the wedding and having to spend at least one night in a hotel. But I know that if we put "no presents" on the invite then a lot of people will try to buy us stuff anyway. My parents have lots of stuff in their house that people gave them as wedding presents and they have never liked but don't feel able to get rid of, even 40 years on, so I would like to avoid that if possible by giving some people some guidance about what to do if they really want to get us something.

From our point of view cash or a donation to charity would be best, but I don't want to offend anyone.

What would you do?


ThePinkPanter Sat 16-Dec-17 17:35:04

This is the wrong place to ask OP! Prepare for an onslaught of suggestions of donated African goats...

LoveInTokyo Sat 16-Dec-17 17:36:05

Heh, where is the right place to ask?

Doobigetta Sat 16-Dec-17 17:38:39

Personally I think that if you tell people not to buy you presents and they do anyway, you're absolved of any obligation to keep them if you don't like them or have no room.
Someone here summed it up beautifully the other day- she asked someone who was planning to buy a present when asked not to whether they were also planning to ignore the address and start time on the invitation grin

meditrina Sat 16-Dec-17 17:41:57

Say nothing on the invitation.

Be ready to tell enquirers that you do not want or need anything, but if they wanted to mark the occasion, then you can suggest your favourite charities or if they prefer they could UK's donate to one the means something to them.

Yes, there might be people who really want to get you a thing and if they are insistent suggest wine, but ask for it to be couriered ahead of the wedding (as there will be no provision for dealing with things on the day, no matter how grateful you are for kindness it will only give you a logistic problem) - that might persuade them to change to a cheque for you or the donation you asked for in the first place.

Make sure your parents/in-laws stick to same script!

Tiredmum100 Sat 16-Dec-17 18:34:58

If you would like money and people ask you what you'd like just say money please!! I do not get why it's always such a big song and dance. If people don't want to get you anything they won't ask. I love giving gifts to people or money when they get married. I've said before on other threads why wouldn't I want to wish people well and spoil them when given the chance for a special occasion? Although reading some threads on here you'd be crazy to get married, and God help you if you change your name to your husbands. My cousin had a wedding website where people could "add to cart" the amount the wanted to give. Some might say it was rude, I thought it was great, saved me a trip to the cash point!

TheQueenOfWands Sat 16-Dec-17 18:36:28

Never mention presents on the invitation. Tacky.

ThePinkPanter Sat 16-Dec-17 22:24:23

MN can get a bit sensitive when poems for money are included...

LoveInTokyo Sat 16-Dec-17 23:05:15

Poems are a bit cringey, it's true.

My other half is from France (where we live and are getting married) and I think the normal culture here is for people to give money. I just don't want people who are spending a lot of money to get here to feel like they have to give anything extra. If anything I would prefer an optional donation to Parkinson's UK because my dad has Parkinson's, but not very many of our guests know that.

acquiescence Sat 16-Dec-17 23:12:19

We said nothing about gifts on our invitation. We received a few gifts, not many things, a few tasteful things, a few photo frames etc which went to charity, a few vouchers, and about £3k in cash which was fantastic (around 120 guests). I always give cash for a wedding as do most of my family and friends.

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