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DH hasn't come home from his Christmas party - what do I do?

(162 Posts)
QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:01:58

He left at 7pm, he's just come down with a cold this morning and really didn't feel like going, and said he'd be back by midnight. I laughed at that, because these good intentions always go out the window once he's there, but he has never ever ever stayed out this late in 7 years together, and I can't see this being the night he decides to pull his first all-nighter.

I've sent messages to 3 of his friends but obviously it's early and they haven't responded. His phone is ringing out. What on earth do I do?

I'm really hoping he's just completely overdone it, maybe misjudged a paracetamol+wine cocktail, and someone's taken him to crash on their sofa, but I can't see it to be honest and I'm getting a bit panicked.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn Sat 16-Dec-17 07:03:47

Mine has twice returned from parties after 7am. Is the party a long way from where you live?

SleepFreeZone Sat 16-Dec-17 07:04:08

He will be fine, I'm absolutely sure of ir

OwlBeBack Sat 16-Dec-17 07:04:36

He’ll be asleep somewhere. Annoying but he’ll turn up.

FenellaMaxwellsPony Sat 16-Dec-17 07:05:18

Was the party at a hotel or similar? Might be worth calling to see if he was hammered and took a room to sleep it off if so?

StealthPolarBear Sat 16-Dec-17 07:05:54

How was he meant to be getting back?
Even if he's hungover h mhstbknow you'll be worried

GertrudeCB Sat 16-Dec-17 07:07:01

Oh he'll be asleep somewhere. Wouldn't worry .

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus Sat 16-Dec-17 07:07:11

What the hell do they do until 7am? Why is it only ever men who do this, never women? Seriously, fuck this shit. I don't give a monkeys how long someone stays out till so long as they tell you.

I am sure he will be fine and has just got carried away but it may be worth ringing the local hospitals just in case.

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:08:04

It was quite a formal party, dinner and speeches, in central London and we're pretty central too. It'd be a 15 minute cab ride. Obviously they'll have gone on to some other saturnalia somewhere but like I say, he's never done this before - crashed in at 4am plenty of times, but this is completely out of character.

Thanks for the handhold though - I'm sure he's fine too but I'm getting jittery sad

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:08:52

Stealth any which way really, there are a few night buses or someone would pour him into a cab. Depends where they ended up but it won't have been far from home.

Frillyhorseyknickers Sat 16-Dec-17 07:10:02


I’m a woman who has done this, got shitfaced and ended up on Gilly from accounts’ sofa.

Hope your DH turns up alive and well.

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:10:40

The only mitigating factor I can think of is that he's leaving this place of work after 10 years, and it's quite a tight knit bunch, so this being his Last Ever Party people might have plied him with all sorts of unusual shots or some 700 year old port or something, not let him leave, and felled him.

letsdolunch321 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:11:07

I wouldn’t worry to much.

If there was a problem I am sure one of his friends/colleagues would have contacted you.

TaggieRR Sat 16-Dec-17 07:11:33

I'm sure he's on somebody's sofa. Hope he comes back soon OP

Peachyking000 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:12:09

I hope he’s ok, and presuming he is, it was very poor form for him not to let you know where he was. Even a simple text message that you would have received once you woke up would have sufficed

GertrudeCB Sat 16-Dec-17 07:12:14

Would he have taken Sudofed ? The one and only time my DB did this he had taken it for a blocked nose then gone out with my dad and my dh. He was out of it after 5 pints and had to bed down in my spare room.

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:12:21

I don't think they'd have ended up at a hotel, it'll be a dive karaoke bar somewhere. I'm just hoping his judgment went out the window and someone said "hey, party's carrying on at my place" and he went along and is now asleep on their sofa. As I say, out of character, but you never know.

liitlepenguin Sat 16-Dec-17 07:12:47

I did this 2 weeks ago. I'm usually a responsible person. It was my leaving/ xmas do. I'm sure he'll turn up soon suitably mortified grin

ferntwist Sat 16-Dec-17 07:14:00

Very thoughtless of him not to at least text you. He’ll probably be crashed out asleep at someone’s flat but it’s really selfish to do that without just giving you a quick text.

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:14:14

Gert I sent him off with a packet of those Day & Night Nurse tablets, all he'd had until then was Lemsip because he was "saving" the pills hmm (They're the ones you're supposed to take 6 of to suppress your symptoms)

If he'd been picked up by Emergency Services would someone be keeping an eye on his phone, even if they didn't know to call me? I suppose not, they'd be far too busy to do that.

jellycat1 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:15:02

Ugh my husband did something similar a while ago and it was so out of character I was terrified. He spent the next day retrieving his belongings from the four corners of London where well meaning people had taken them! I'm sure he'll be fine. Chances are that you'd have heard something if he wasn't.

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:16:11

If he's asleep I do just so wish he or someone more sober had thought to text me! It would be fine for him to be out as long as he pleased if I'd opened my eyes at 6am, thought "eh?", checked phone, thought "what a dope", and gone back to sleep. Instead I had to get up and check if he was somewhere in the house, and obviously I couldn't go back to sleep.

Raggs Sat 16-Dec-17 07:17:08

Reasons could be as simple as going to a casino and getting carried away or the last thread I read like this the OP's partner spent a night in the cells. Obviously I hope that's not the case but just wanted to say in all the years on mn there's always been a reason that doesn't involve worst case scenarios.

I hope he's just been drunk and you can give him what for when he calls

sandytime Sat 16-Dec-17 07:18:30

This is thoughtless of him but If he's genuinely conked out then I suppose he doesn't realise your panicking. I must admit I'd be worried too but I'm fairly sure he will turn up eventually. They usually do.

QuimReaper Sat 16-Dec-17 07:18:40

Thank you all so much for the reassurance. Nobody else seems to be conscious.

This had to be the morning I woke up to find the electrics down too, so I had to make tea on the sodding hob hmm

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