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Anxious behaviours- is this normal

(12 Posts)
KatnissMellark Fri 15-Dec-17 22:42:10

DH is away this week, so it's just me and (baby) DS at home. When I'm 'alone' in the house like this I feel quite nervous and will go up and down the stairs multiple times checking the same door over and over, and the windows etc to ensure they are locked and the house is secure. I also do a little walk round the house before bed to ensure that nothing looks odd (this also includes checking in cupboards, behind doors etc blush). It sounds ridiculous I know but growing up I had a huge family, never had my own room til went to university and even then was never alone in the house, then moved straight in with DH post uni, so just don't really feel comfortable alone. I do realise this is silly and am embarrassed by it but just can't help it. I literally count down the days til he is home.

Separately (well I think it is a separate issue), when I leave the house I have to triple check the front door and I say to myself 'you are locked' to kind of anchor the thought in my brain otherwise later in the day I'll be worrying that I've not locked up properly (this is a technique I've developed so I don't have to worry all day!).

When I am very stressed this will extend to doing a full walkaround of the house prior to leaving as per my nighttime routine when I am alone.

I don't feel that this affects my life in a negative way, and I have strategies in place to cope with it, and if I feel things are getting out of hand I wheel my rational self out and have a word with the anxious side to calm down. I have had a crazily stressful few years with family and health issues and bullying at work so have had to work really hard to keep my mental health on an even keel, and I'm wondering if this is normal? I'm fine with it, cope well, feel generally happy and secure, and my rational self knows I am being about silly so I think it's fine. Just interested to know if anyone else has these tendencies?

KatnissMellark Fri 15-Dec-17 23:06:34

No one else?

getschwiftyinhere Fri 15-Dec-17 23:08:29

Yes me!!

KatnissMellark Fri 15-Dec-17 23:10:33

Good to know I'm not alone!

NoUseNumber31 Fri 15-Dec-17 23:12:19

Me also 🙋🏻 but then I do suffer with anxiety so maybe that doesn't really help...

Feelings Fri 15-Dec-17 23:12:52

I don't obsessively check the doors. But, when I forget whether I've locked a door I will be anxious about it the whole time until I'm home.
I also get anxious over silly things such as health problems and I'll end up catastrophising the whole thing to a point of convincing myself I'm going to die.
I pretty much get anxious if my daughter puts down her glasses because I'll be scared they'll break, so I have a "bubble wrap everything" mentality including my daughter.

I'm sure I have generalised anxiety disorder. But can't say I'm obsessive about making sure things are locked, OCD perhaps?

Fruitboxjury Fri 15-Dec-17 23:14:31

I don’t think this is especially unusual although you could probably label this behaviour if you wanted to. I also do this (hence I don’t think it unusual) but for me I like it as knowing I’ve checked everything gives me reassurance there’s less to worry about.

If you find that it’s starting to take over your thoughts and actions in a negative way rather than a reassuring way you could perhaps pursue the issue with GP but if it’s not, then I really wouldn’t overthink it.

KatnissMellark Fri 15-Dec-17 23:17:42

That's my attitude exactly fruitbix, I'm sure it could be labelled, but it doesn't seem a huge deal to me and doesn't affect me negatively too much so I just manage it.

JaneyGotAGun Fri 15-Dec-17 23:27:34

I do this exact thing too OP and could have written your post word for word. My DH too works away quite a lot for work and when I'm home alone with our baby I find myself checking, double checking and triple checking doors are locked and secure.

My rational brain tells me
"The door is locked, you've already checked it"
but like you it reassures me to check it again.

I guess now I have a baby to look after it's got worse but I always used to do it too.

butteredbarmbrack Fri 15-Dec-17 23:29:57

Another one with the locking! Also checking things are switched off when the house will be empty. Better than I was a couple of years ago though - I will check the door several times before heading off, but have managed to wean myself off coming back to check again after I've gone round the corner. And I find once I am underway, I don't really think about it further. I'm hoping it will ease off further in time....

Tara336 Sat 16-Dec-17 02:30:02

This is very similar to something I do and am OCD diagnosed. It sounds s linked to anxiety, I have had therapy and it does help but rears its head again as soon as I'm anxious

jollyjester Sat 16-Dec-17 02:41:29

With the door locking thing would it help OP if you were to take a short video on your phone showing you locking the door and checking it? This could be a silly idea but if it helped your anxiety whilst out that you could watch it if need be.

I too grew up in a house full of people. When DH is away DD sleeps in our bed, she thinks it's a treat but it really is cause I also hate being in a room on my own.

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