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My baby has not been programmed correctly

(37 Posts)
LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:19:06

LIGHTHEARTED 🙄

DC1 would be put down for bed of an evening by 8pm by seven weeks. Quick feed when I then went to bed at 10:30ish and job’s a good un.

DC2 is 11 weeks and only wants to partay with the grown ups. Twice (maybe thrice) I have got them down between 8:30-10pm. Thought I’d managed 9:45pm tonight, cracked open the wine and choc for a small glass, and here I am with said tiny person again after two sips of wine.

I am in no way prone to hysteria, no, definitely not, but have visions of a six-month-old very well versed in HIGNFY and Eastenders. Gah.

Plus I didn’t put a substitution note on today’s order and Sainsbury’s sent the wrong chocolate so the day was clearly doomed from the off

BigStripeyBastard Fri 15-Dec-17 22:20:11

Send it back. Did you keep the receipt?

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:24:13

No. I’m terrible for that. I don’t like the look of John Lewis’s new ‘Moz’ range, either.

dudsville Fri 15-Dec-17 22:24:51

It's the effect of brexit on quality.

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:28:46

Don’t say that. Imagine what would happen if I had a third haaaaa when we’ve left.

2gorgeousboys Fri 15-Dec-17 22:35:17

Mmm I sympathise Op. I had a faulty DC2 too. DS1was very needy and requires lots of cuddles but slept through from 6 weeks. DS2 lulled us into a false state of calmness by sleeping really well for the first 2 weeks, he then didn't sleep through in his own bed until he was 6 and didn't manage a full week in his own bed until he was 8.

Coping mechanisms had to be put in place - baby sleeps wherever they sleep best, Mums drink wine wherever and whenever they have it (although as this is Mumsnet I need to caveat that only one glass was drink whilst co-sleeping!) and nice chocolate is purchased in bulk.

Slowtrain2dawn Fri 15-Dec-17 22:40:01

I remember complaining to a friend that DC1 fed more often at night than my baby manual said he would at his age. His response? “Maybe he hadn’t read the manual” I have never forgotten it!

caringcarer Fri 15-Dec-17 22:47:37

My eldest child a dd was like an angel slept all night, fed easily, a very smiley child, we thought this is great we'll have another. Second child ds cried a lot, got colic, slept very little and mostly in day. He went on to be diagnosed as adhd. I thought it served me right for being so smug about dd. Same parenting but every kid is different.

Efferlunt Fri 15-Dec-17 22:49:12

Mine has a glitch. He spends at least and hour and a half needing to be cuddled in a darkened room before he falls asleep. That used to be my telly time.

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:49:47

I think we have peace for a few mins, dare I say it. Tbf, we do get a good stint once we get going. It’s just the bedtime that is a little off-kilter. Apparently we’re on a time zone somewhere over the Atlantic.

Still, if wine and decent choc are recommended by experience...

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:51:13

Effer Ugh, we went through similar with DC1 and rocking to sleep. Like hell am I doing that again I fucking hope

MycatsaPirate Fri 15-Dec-17 22:51:38

Both mine were faulty. DD1 had a faulty eating thing which meant she projectile vomited everywhere. Apparently this was not a reasonable excuse for a refund.

DD2 didn't sleep longer than 2 hours for over 2 years and didn't sleep through the night until she was 4. By that time I was completely fucking broken. She is now 12 and sleeps through but sleep walks and talks so I often wake to find her standing glassy eyed next to my bed rambling on about flamingos or dancing bears or other random shit which is just freaky.

They do eventually leave home apparently.

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:51:54

It passed, though. Gradual retreat was a wonderful thing.

CallMeDollFace Fri 15-Dec-17 22:53:53

What are these teeny tiny sleep-through-babies you speak of? Never had one of those! <bitter>

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:54:01

Mycats do they make stair gates tall enough to stop a 12yo? That sounds utterly fucking terrifying.

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 22:54:53

Mycats do they make stair gates tall enough to stop a 12yo? That sounds utterly fucking terrifying.

HappyAndRelaxed Fri 15-Dec-17 22:56:01

Have you tried switching her off and restarting her again? grin

Whitelisbon Fri 15-Dec-17 22:56:19

My Facebook memories yesterday was me saying that my newborn dts were nocturnal. And it was posted at 3.30am.
I am so so glad those days are over, you have my sympathies.

furryelephant Fri 15-Dec-17 23:02:37

My DC is also faulty. I’m fairly sure her first sentence will be “go to bloody sleep or you’re going in the bin” blushmuttered desperately at 3am...

Unfortunately she doesn’t take well to threats, and any noise from me is replied with laughter and nose poking by tiny fingers envy

MycatsaPirate Fri 15-Dec-17 23:02:45

look Haha, DD2 has never found a stair gate she couldn't navigate. Even as a very small toddler. She managed to get into the kitchen at 16 months old and microwave a book. I had to call the fire brigade. Yes, she is one of those children. She also managed to smash a window in my car.

I'm sure I'll look back and laugh eventually. hollow laugh

Nyx1 Fri 15-Dec-17 23:04:35

OP "have visions of a six-month-old very well versed in HIGNFY and Eastenders. Gah."

That's nothing, my best friend's DD slept all day and stayed awake all night.....propped up in front of Breaking Bad which was the only thing that helped her parents cope. grin

2gorgeousboys Fri 15-Dec-17 23:11:07

@caringcarer yes that's DS2, reflux, needed to sleep on me until he was 8 months old and currently being diagnosed with ADHD.

I'm currently contemplating another baby and every so often DH reminds me of how bad things were with DS2 - who needs contraception?!

UnderTheSleepingBaby Fri 15-Dec-17 23:12:10

Mine has the same fault op, 15weeks and her off switch is set to midnight (will sleep on me before that but wake if put down, at midnight it's like some magic happens) - maybe it's a whole faulty batch?

OhOurBilly Fri 15-Dec-17 23:14:26

Mine is over 12 months and is yet to sleep through, I think the guarantee has run out though.

LookImAHooman Fri 15-Dec-17 23:18:23

*Mycats’ fuck me, I’m dying 😂 That is some sort of genius, surely. I mean, you poor soul.

Nyx at least there are a lot of life lessons in B.B.

Under love the nn

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