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Every Day is a Challenge

(9 Posts)
Snugglyboots Fri 15-Dec-17 15:53:30

I don't know how to explain this without sounding completely pathetic so bare with me.
I always seem to be left out of friendships and it makes me so upset/annoyed. I think I am needy but try to not let it show but I don't know how to be all relaxed and happy. There are 2 mum's at school who are very popular and used to make loads of effort to speak to me and one used to fall over herself for our kids to hangout which resulted in us having a glass of wine and chatting.

Somewhere along the line she decided that her child could be friends with someone else and started hanging round with that mumand not inviting me. A group of parents are all going to one of their houses tomorrow and I have not been included.

The thing is this happens all the time and it is all consuming. I feel really lonely and just don't understand how it happens or why I am not included.

How do you become popular? Any tips?

Vitalogy Fri 15-Dec-17 16:15:57

True friends are few and far between. The trick is to not care if you're popular or not. Try and concentrate on yourself and find out who you are before looking towards other's to validate yourself.
You've got a lot to offer and and a true friend will appreciate that. Best wishes.

Snugglyboots Fri 15-Dec-17 16:52:31

Yes, you're right vitalogy and I know that but I don't know how to. I'm think I spend too much time listening to my inner voice telling me I'm rubbish

Vitalogy Fri 15-Dec-17 19:50:10

That inner voice is your brain trying to sabotage the true you. The true you is the gut instinct. If you try and stay as quiet and still as often as possible you'll get in touch with it. Maybe try and think of a time when you felt confident or when you did something and thought, I knew I was right about that or when you felt you did something well, then try and focus on that feeling.

I'm a great believer in the more positive you can be, the more the positive is drawn towards you. All these things take practice mind, something that has to be worked on. But the more you do it the easier it gets.

Those woman at the school, it's their loss, not yours you know,

forcryinoutloud Fri 15-Dec-17 20:00:55

Well said vitalogy, the day it dawned on me that being popular is not important was a happy day indeed. Just look around the world at all the feckers that are popular.....I rest my case.

Snugglyboots, I'm afraid there are a lot of selfish people who just pick people up and put them down as and when they need them, they are not true friends. Like, Vitalogy said, be true to yourself and ignore them is the best possible course of action.

Snugglyboots Fri 15-Dec-17 22:36:04

Vitalogy thanks for your wise words, I will try to be quiet and still (which is completely unheard of) and see if I can make some positive changes. I often catch myself thinking really negative thoughts, it needs to change, I can't stand it anymore.

Forcryinoutloud that's just it, these selfish people, how can they live with themselves? I just don't get it. They seem so happy, they don't sit around worrying and feeling lonely, really pisses me off.

Snugglyboots Fri 15-Dec-17 22:38:49

Basically all the stuff I was taught seems like bollocks, thinking of others, being kind etc etc seems to be ignored but invite people round for a piss up and everyone loves you. confused

Vitalogy Sat 16-Dec-17 06:34:38

I wouldn't say it's bollocks but you just have to be mindful about the people you hang around with.

Snugglyboots Tue 19-Dec-17 16:49:42

Vitalogy what do you mean about being mindful about who you hang around with?
This is a genuine question. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong?

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