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How do you leave your husband if you have no money?

(15 Posts)
fencedin Thu 14-Dec-17 21:22:56


He controls all the money

He said I can't leave using his money

What do I do? And how?

MaggieMeldrum Thu 14-Dec-17 21:24:27

You need to slowly start squirrelling money away

OhforfucksakeFay Thu 14-Dec-17 21:26:35

Squirrel money away and domestic violence services will support you - financial control is DV

fencedin Thu 14-Dec-17 21:29:59

I can't do slowly

Can't take much more.

jedenfalls Thu 14-Dec-17 21:32:32

Get this moved to relationships

You aren't the first and you won't be the last unfortunately

There are many wise women on there who can guide you through this. Women's aid would be a good start for advice.

Also if you are married, it is your money too. No matter what he thinks. He might never give it voluntarily but the law can force his hand there.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot Thu 14-Dec-17 21:34:53

Contact refuge. Start packing a bag and hide it in the boot of your car or somewhere he won't think to look - take items of clothes to your parents each visit if you must. Find a safe space and get to it. The rest will work itself out but you will likely need a job in the new year.

Best of luck

Ginpasta Thu 14-Dec-17 21:35:29

Can you see a solicitor? Find out your options? Xx

Frith1975 Thu 14-Dec-17 21:40:16

I went to a refuge - literally in the clothes I stood up in. Started again from scratch. It was quite exciting!

fencedin Thu 14-Dec-17 21:52:12

How many kids Firth and what age???

Darcychu Thu 14-Dec-17 21:57:12

how do you do the food shopping? is it possible to say you need money for shopping and then use it to get out and get to a refuge , they will help sort out stuff like benefits and getting yourself into your own accomodation.

a lady i once knew packed up and left with 4 kids one afternoon because of same situation, all she had was £20 and 4 kids under 12.

Christmas is good excuse , say you want to go Xmas shopping for food/ kids presents /bits and then take the money, even if its £20/30

Tinselistacky Thu 14-Dec-17 22:00:10

See a solicitor, declare yourself 'separated', claim benefits from that date, ask solicitor to send letters to a care of address.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 14-Dec-17 22:03:14

How many dc do you have? and what ages are they?
Do you have friends/family near you or who could potentially help?
Do you have access to info important documents like passports? bank statements etc?

CrazyHairSister Thu 14-Dec-17 22:06:09

If you are married the money belongs to both of you, it is not "his" money.

Agree to squirelling money away.

Pack up stuff under the guise of a pre-xmas clear out ready to do a runner with.

Pack up other stuff you don't want or need and sell it to raise some cash.

Buy shopping on a debit card and get cashback.

Nearlythere35 Thu 14-Dec-17 22:10:20

Go and see a solicitor and discuss your entitlement to maintenance. Go and see what benefits you are entitled to. Good luck, you can do this. Make appointments for before Christmas

ItsBeginingToLookAlotLikeChris Thu 14-Dec-17 22:47:17

Yy it's not for him to decide.
I wouldn't show my hand in such a situation though. You need bank statements, papers, evidence you can't get that by being open. Yy to solicitor etc. Bastard.

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