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No such thing as ugly women only lazy ones...

(128 Posts)
boopsy Thu 14-Dec-17 14:57:59

Heard this said today at work, cant remember who originally said it. Nothing bitchy just 2 staff members having a giggle about not having time to do their hair/make up for such an early start. Got me wondering though. Take somebody like Jennifer Anniston, she would look pretty ordinary if she let her figure go a bit, wore minimal makeup, Jeans, hoody and hair scraped back. Not having a go at poor Jen who is perfectly nice looking but has put effort into looking above average. Makes me think there is hope for plain janes like me hahaha. What does everyone else think, is this true for the majority of women? I say majority as some women are naturally stunning of course.

FrostyThirties0 Thu 14-Dec-17 15:03:22

Actually I’d say it’s more money than effort.

CannotEvenThink Thu 14-Dec-17 15:06:56

Frankly that sort of talk makes me want to scream. What so a woman who isn't "stunning" must be lazy? That just implies we should all be doing our hair and make up every day to be taken seriously or deemed attractive. Fuck that shit.

This is why we still need feminism.

nobutreally Thu 14-Dec-17 15:08:02

Do you think the same about men, OP?

AuntLydia Thu 14-Dec-17 15:08:59

Why is it lazy to not give a fuck about your appearance?! I'm far from lazy but I AM ungroomed. This is because I don't give a shit, not because I'm too lazy to spend time on make up.

MrsPestilence Thu 14-Dec-17 15:10:55

Whoever originally said it was particularly ugly.

In the 21st century are women only worth their looks?

Eolian Thu 14-Dec-17 15:12:30

Wtf? So any woman who doesn't spend hours every day on her appearance is lazy?! What a load of absolute bollocks. Unless you are an actress or a model, why would your work require you to spend ages doing hair and make-up? Why is it considered important that women should look 'done up' for work? Ridiculous.

KickAssAngel Thu 14-Dec-17 15:14:46

I think it's more that the opposite is true - no such thing as beautiful women, just incredibly wealthy & privileged ones.

It's no-one's duty to look good, so it isn't lazy to choose to put time/money/effort into other things in life (like getting a degree, raising kids, sports etc). There are, of course, plenty of people who naturally have better skin/good figure etc, but the ones who are "stunning" often spend quite a lot of money on their appearance.

I once saw a documentary about 'trophy wives' type thing, and one woman was very average looking, not a great complexion, quite overweight. She had been a trophy girlfriend to a wealthy man, and pictures of her from back then, she was stunning. She was toned, her skin glowed, her hair swished. As soon as she split up with the guy, her looks changed. It was only the constant flow of money, time & effort that had kept her looking like that.

I'm not lazy - I work ridiculously hard - but I'm not good looking because my efforts go into work, rather than going to the gym every day.

GingerbreadMa Thu 14-Dec-17 15:15:39

Its an awful phrase.
But at the same time I do think that anyone with enough time, money and inclination can achieve a highly groomed look that some people desire.
I dont think the groomed look is partularly attractive though so if I was rich I think I would fall into the country/horsey category rather than the samey blown-out hair and gym bunny look of city rich.

I think its money rather than laziness/motivation though

HappyAndRelaxed Thu 14-Dec-17 15:15:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Her0utdoors Thu 14-Dec-17 15:17:46

What do I think? I'd think 'oh fuck off' but I'm trying my hardest to loose 'fuck' from my vocabulary, as well as other misogynistic swear words.

boopsy Thu 14-Dec-17 15:18:39

I don't personally think that just wondered if its possible for normal looking people to look really good with more effort i'm not saying everyone has to or should make an effort at all! I don't do much with myself coz im not pretty i don't think there is much point but maybe putting in some effort i might look ok. I wish i didn't care what i looked like life would be easier but have just left a man who has ruined my self esteem.

KatnissK Thu 14-Dec-17 15:19:32

Bollocks to that. It's not a woman's job or duty to look pretty and desirable. It's not lazy to choose not to do hair and wear make up. It's a choice women are entitled to make.

boopsy Thu 14-Dec-17 15:20:25

Anyway clearly came across wrong so im out.

BenLui Thu 14-Dec-17 15:21:19

I hate the phrase and the idea behind it that women somehow have a responsibility to be ornamental.

However if your question is actually how can I look better, then the answer is probably get a good haircut, get enough sleep, use a good moisturiser with sunscreen, don’t bite your fingernails, wear clothes that fit you well and (force yourself if necessary) to walk with an air of confidence.

Interestingly the above is exactly the same advice I’d a man who asked the same question.

GingerbreadMa Thu 14-Dec-17 15:22:05

I had some REALLY expensive skin treatments in my 20s when I had a decent disposable budget. The results cannot be replicated on a budget. Its a "you look amazinh but I cant put my finger on whats changed" sort of look.

Taylored clothes in quality fabrics make a HUGE difference too.

No amount of time/effort will quite achieve the understated quality look of youre on a primark budget. Thats not to say you cant look "good" in cheap clothes, but they are less forgiving and dont have the same overall effect.

You need a lot of "natural" beauty to look fabulous in cheap clothes. You can dress a pigs ear well in taylored expensive clothes.

MrsPestilence Thu 14-Dec-17 15:24:07

If your definition of looking good is a lot of make-up and blow dried hair with extensions, then yes anyone can be made to look good. Hundreds of TV make-over shows around the world are built on this premise. You can even had fake boobs, liposuction and fillers. Not everyone judges this to look good.

Barbie is good. Natural and healthy is bad.

GottadoitGottadoit Thu 14-Dec-17 15:24:09

When you say you have come across wrong, do you mean that you have misreprestented yourself, or that you just don’t like the answers?

Christmascardqueen Thu 14-Dec-17 15:25:06

Poor bone structure, unfortunate genetics can’t be fixed with glue and paste.

ZigZagandDustin Thu 14-Dec-17 15:26:16

Unfortunately these days the inlay ones have completely gone beyond their looks in many cases and tipped straight back into ugly with their orange skin and black hole eyes.

It depresses me how women can't be viewed as their natural selves. Yes to tidy hair and clean skin. But it's so unfair that for men tidy hair and clean skin is enough. For women they have to adjust and augment every shadow of their being to even look the norm now.

bellasuewow Thu 14-Dec-17 15:26:44

God this type of sexism is depressing. Anyone who says you have to have expensive clothes and make up to look good in any case has obviously never travelled much and visited countries where most of the inhaitants are tanned, not obese and it is normal to be reasonably healthy.

ZigZagandDustin Thu 14-Dec-17 15:26:46


BenLui Thu 14-Dec-17 15:29:28

Cross post Boopsy

I’m sure you look lovely. The biggest difference to how attractive someone looks is a confident smile.

The secret is that it doesn’t have to be real. Fake it until you make it.

Don’t let anyone take your self esteem. Build it back up, you are awesome and can be anyone you choose.

How you present yourself to the world can make a big difference to how you feel about yourself. A haircut is a wonderful place to start.

Exercise, sleep, healthy diet and as much laughter as you can find will also help you feel better.

Don’t you dare sit at home feeling miserable because some arse made you feel that you should.

Make a plan for a new improved Boopsy and carry it out.


SilverDoe Thu 14-Dec-17 15:29:29

It's a bad attitude if they are saying it's lazy not to be well groomed/fully made up and styled, really awful.

It is true that grooming and self care/using lots of products and cosmetics can make you look quite dramatically different to if you went with the opposite end of the spectrum.

It's not true that no one is naturally pretty and can't look great without a load of expensive and time consuming products and regimes though, of course.

RedSkyAtNight Thu 14-Dec-17 15:29:55

Define "looking good". What you mean is conforming to society's view of looking good.

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