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Invite lonely people

(43 Posts)
Blackcatonthesofa Thu 14-Dec-17 09:55:27

Dear all,

It's almost christmas. Some people are alone at christmas and feel lonely. Could you all please think of anyone that you know that might be alone and invite them? It doesn't have to be dinner if you want to keep that in the family, it could be a simple brunch or lunch.


Tinselistacky Thu 14-Dec-17 09:57:07

I contacted a charity for older people back in October, got a confirmation email about my request to be involved and not heard a thing back yet!!

CaoNiMa Thu 14-Dec-17 10:00:01

It's a nice sentiment, OP, but you can't do a blanket demand. People have very different home situations and there are plenty of other ways to help.

cjt110 Thu 14-Dec-17 10:04:37

My parents asked at the beginning of December to volunteer on Xmas day at their local mission and not much has been forthcoming yet. You'd think they'd be on it fast!

Blackcatonthesofa Thu 14-Dec-17 13:51:27

CaoNima how am I demanding? Go troll somewhere else. I am asking (please) to think of people around you who might be lonely. If you don't like it then don't.

I was alone the first christmas after my divorce and it was horrible. Everybody thought that I would spend it with my dad but he only wanted to spend it with his girlfriend and I wasn't welcome. If you love your friends or family you can check if they have plans.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 14-Dec-17 13:56:07

Who made you captain Christmas? hmm

You can't tell anyone what to do and you certainly can't assert that
If you love your friends or family you can check if they have plans.

What a bizarre thread.

Blackcatonthesofa Thu 14-Dec-17 14:05:05

Maybe it's my use of english. I am foreign and am politely asking to remember if there are loved ones that you would want to invite for christmas instead of them being lonely and regretting not inviting them later. I am not telling anyone what to do or what they should do. I am trying to give a friendly reminder.

I really don't understand why such a lovely suggestion (just a suggestion) gets flamed so much. But if I have written my english wrong them I'm sorry.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot Thu 14-Dec-17 14:07:03

I understand the sentiment but being taken in by someone out of pity feels worse to me. I've got a lonely Christmas ahead of me but tbh I'd rather that then someone feel obliged to host me

InsomniacAnonymous Thu 14-Dec-17 14:50:06

"CaoNima how am I demanding? Go troll somewhere else."

What a nasty post. CaoNima didn't deserve that at all.

Doingthebattybat Thu 14-Dec-17 15:12:22

Bumpowder I’m totally with you on the pity front. I’m not with family this year and have been invited on Christmas Day by a lovely friend. I feel so tragic though. I’d rather have been on my own. It just reinforces that you aren’t with the people you wish you were with.

Bloodybridget Thu 14-Dec-17 15:31:16

Inviting someone who might be alone is a kind suggestion, I don't see that the OP is ordering anyone to do it, just reminding us that we could consider it. And there are ways of wording an invitation that don't make it sound pitying - "It would be great to have you with us on Christmas Day, it's pretty boring for the DCs just being with me/us. If you come we can play charades/ bingo/ whist" etc. We don't have to invite people we dislike! Having an extra adult or two around would definitely have improved some of my childhood Christmases.

Battleax Thu 14-Dec-17 15:35:58

Go troll somewhere else

Woah there. You don't sound very nice for all your spirit of Christmas diktats.

Battleax Thu 14-Dec-17 15:36:32

Missing comma; ,

anotherchange111 Thu 14-Dec-17 15:43:00

Why have people had a go at the op?! Mumsnet is truly baffling sometimes

I'm with you op - I've already invited five friends who I thought might struggle with xmas - people who are single and/or don't particularly like xmas. They weren't pity invites. I invited them cause I love them and want to hang out with them anyway! All but two have all since found other things to do but I'm glad I asked them and they appreciated it. Am hoping the other two come for breakfast

Battleax Thu 14-Dec-17 15:45:29

These bossy "Put your clocks forward", "Test your smoke alarm", "Invite lonely people to your house" broadcasts can't really withstand the dissonance of the OP biting someone's head of in their second post.

Hoppinggreen Thu 14-Dec-17 15:49:12

Nice sentiment OP but sometimes there are reasons people are alone
Last year lovely Sil brought her “lonely old lady “ neighbour with her to mils for Christmas dinner.
She had family but they hadn’t invited her - probably because she was a horrible rude racist who ruined everyone’s day.
Eventually we all left her to it ( with Sil, who’s fault it was for inviting her) and went and sat in another room. When she followed us in DH Politely But firmly “ offered” to give her a lift home.
She wasntbhaving any of it but he picked up her bags and took them out to the car while I passed her her coat and said goodbye to her.
She eventually got the hint

Brokenbiscuit Thu 14-Dec-17 15:49:38

The OP has explained that it was supposed to be a suggestion only. Not a command. She has also explained that English is not her first language. Cut her some slack, ffs!

Battleax Thu 14-Dec-17 15:51:53

I would if she wasn't calling people trolls for dissenting Broken. People are allowed to disagree without being called a troll.

anotherchange111 Thu 14-Dec-17 15:54:05

Battleax - you're sounding like a proper knob

Op didn't bite anyone's head off

Battleax Thu 14-Dec-17 15:55:59

Right. "Go troll somewhere else" isn't hostile at all in your book? How very knobbish of me to think so 😄🙄

curryforbreakfast Thu 14-Dec-17 15:59:57

Could you all please think of anyone that you know that might be alone and invite them?

Um, no? How weird would that be?

Wollstonecraft1 Thu 14-Dec-17 16:00:40

I'm with Hopping. I have spent quite a bit of time with someone over the past year because she is lonely and doesn't get invited to join in and it has become a thorn in my side. She is actually not a very nice person AT ALL and I can now see why she is alone a lot. I am now trying to pull back.

Obviously that doesn't apply to everyone, not by a long shot, but I would definitely be more careful in future.

bigbluebus Thu 14-Dec-17 16:43:29

I invited one of our neighbours who lives by herself one year but she declined as she didn't want to intrude on our Christmas even though I assured her she wouldn't be. She did agree to come for a turkey sandwich on Boxing Day though as a compromise! I am thinking of asking her again this year as I know she is going to be alone again - she went to her DS last year but he is a long drive away and she has told me she's not going there this year even though she was invited.

She always tells me that she likes her own company and that she "doesn't do Christmas" but I know she's quite lonely really - I knocked the other day to see if she needed anything in the snowy weather and she seemed very keen to chat having been stuck in the house for a number of days due to the weather.

There'll be no turkey sandwich option this year as we're not having turkey!

Frith1975 Thu 14-Dec-17 16:55:04

I’ve been single for 13 years. I’d be so embarrassed to be invited to someone else’s Christmas lunch. It’s making me literally curl up as I type!

SilverySurfer Thu 14-Dec-17 17:59:44

Who made you captain Christmas? hmm

Good question.

No way am I inviting anyone, lonely or otherwise, to my home for Christmas. I live alone and never feel lonely. I love my solitary Christmas Day, despite having more than one standing invitation to spend Christmas with friends and after being guilted by family to join them for so many years I really look forward to it.

But don't let that stop you OP. How many lonelies are you going to squeeze round your dining room table on Christmas Day?

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