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Last Christmas you spat in my face

(6 Posts)
Ninarina Thu 14-Dec-17 07:13:56

This is long but advice would be appreciated. Last year was horrendous as my dear Mum passed (still doesn't seem real). I spent the whole year living with my dad as he was frightened and lonely but it was hard for me as I blamed him a lot for how he had treated my mum. Dad sold the family home so I wanted our last Christmas there to be special. I thought my sister would help with cooking etc but she waited till I had served the lunch and basically screamed at me that I had killed my mum and it was my fault she died.
This year my dad has moved to a much smaller depressing house and extended family aren't coming but sister is. I have such bad memories of last year.

I don't want to do anything this year but if I don't no one will. I have a DC who was in hospital on Christmas Eve last year too. It makes my head explode. What would you do?

wowfudge Thu 14-Dec-17 07:16:27

Have you spoken to your sister since then? Do you have your own place? Why not have Christmas at home and invite your dad.

XmasFairy86 Thu 14-Dec-17 07:21:30

Can you not have your dad at yours?
Does your sister have family she can do her own thing with?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Thu 14-Dec-17 08:16:30

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss.
I don't blame you for not wanting to be around your sister. Yes I know she's hurting as well, and things get said when people are hurting, but blaming you for your mum's passing is unforgivable.
I agree with pps Could your dad go to yours.

Ninarina Thu 14-Dec-17 08:41:42

Dad never comes to mine even when I was ill he dropped food off at door but didn't come in. He's glued to his TV. His way of not thinking about life without mum. Sis lives in London and is single. We have spoken and she apologised for saying the killing part but then another incident happened earlier this year and she said she meant every word. I stay civil for mum but I feel very very hurt and have detached. She puts up happy news on social media and I can't say anything gushing. I don't want to see her but I don't want a scene. I just feel too down.

Cantuccit Thu 14-Dec-17 08:50:54

OP, you are not obliged to do Christmas for your dad and sis.

I think you should have it at home, and invite your dad. If he comes great, if not, that is his choice.

Your sister sounds toxic and I would not make any effort for her. I wouldn't invite her.

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