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WWYD re- DM & very expensive gift?

(59 Posts)
FaintlyBaffled Wed 13-Dec-17 12:29:10

DM has recently come into some money, not a great deal but certainly more than she's ever had before.
She only has one DGC (DS who is 13) and that's likely to be it.
She wants to buy him an expensive gift for Christmas, something he's been saving up for himself but has no realistic chance of affording before this time next year if he sticks to his original plan and doesn't go for a cheaper option.
DH and I feel it's a lot of money and, though DS isn't a spoilt brat, it sort of gives the impression that Grandma will provide if he asks (FWIW he hasn't asked her, she asked him what he was saving his money for)
DS has asked for money for Christmas to put towards his saving and doesn't expect anything else, so it's not like she can spoil him with something else off his list.
As it stands, I'm certain that buying this for DS would give DM almost as much pleasure as it would give DS to receive it. If we ask her not to then part of me feels bad that she is being denied the opportunity to spoil her only DGC. OTOH it's a vast amount of money confused

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Wed 13-Dec-17 12:31:01

How vast are we talking?
Filthy rich or really obscene?

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 13-Dec-17 12:32:16

Of course she should be allowed to spend her money on her grandson! Think how happy that will make both of them.

What proportion of her total money is the gift?

bellabelly Wed 13-Dec-17 12:32:16

Let her top up what he has already saved and go with him to purchase the item. Lovely thought on her part and nice for him to have saved towards it.

MrsHathaway Wed 13-Dec-17 12:32:38

At 13 he is old enough to understand that it's a one off. I'd permit it on that basis.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow Wed 13-Dec-17 12:32:40

let her buy it for him if it will bring them both joy. DS is old enough to understand it's a very generous gift amd sure he won't now think she'll buy whatever he asks for. Especially if you labour that point if he starts thinking like that!

FaintlyBaffled Wed 13-Dec-17 12:32:48

Around £1000 breakfast shock

Tinselistacky Wed 13-Dec-17 12:33:41

Assume a games console? Your ds sounds like a well adjusted financially savvy boy who deserve the chance to be split off dgm at Christmas!!
Fwiw my dgm worked in a high class toy shop and bought me mountains of stuff for Christmas and I didn't morph into a brat at all!!

MirandaWest Wed 13-Dec-17 12:34:06

What would the gift be?

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 13-Dec-17 12:34:07

Why do you think it gives him the impression that his grandmother will provide? He hasn't asked for anything. It's a one-off big purchase. Why are you worrying? Is he usually an entitled boy?

FaintlyBaffled Wed 13-Dec-17 12:34:34

Ooh sorry, the gift is about £1000, DM has significantly more than that. I know it won't cause her a financial hardship but still... <wrings hands>

newnamechange84 Wed 13-Dec-17 12:35:26

If you have an appreciative child who isn't likely to start acting like an entitled brat then I'd let your DM go ahead. It won't hurt.

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 13-Dec-17 12:35:36


It's a small(ish) proportion of her money. She wants to treat her grandson. He's not asked for anything and is saving hard. Why do you have this angst?

petitdonkey Wed 13-Dec-17 12:36:46

He sounds like a lovely boy who is already committed to saving for the thing that he wants. I would give them both the immense pleasure. He can then hold on to the money that he has saved and everyone will be very happy.

FaintlyBaffled Wed 13-Dec-17 12:38:08

It's a gaming PC miranda, the console was earmarked to go as part of the big savings push wink

Cathster Wed 13-Dec-17 12:38:11

If she doesn’t usually spoil him or go overboard I would let her. It would give them both great joy and I certainly don’t think it gives the impression that whatever he asks for, he gets, especially if he’s not asked for it in the first place!

Alternatively as a PP says can she give him the money to top up what he’s already saved?

LordSugarWillSeeYouNow Wed 13-Dec-17 12:38:24

I'm thinking along the lines of a MacBook or similar op? Let her get him it, she will feel amazing being able to get him whatever it is.
What a lovely gesture smile

Emily7708 Wed 13-Dec-17 12:41:20

Why would you even consider asking her not to?! Of course you should let her spend the money on your DS.

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 13-Dec-17 12:41:34

Does she want to buy it for him outright or to top up his savings so that he can afford it?

It would be great if she asked him out to lunch one day and took him into the shop to buy it.

PragmaticWench Wed 13-Dec-17 12:46:12

Could she offer to match anything that he saves? Although I appreciate that might sound ungrateful if you put it to her, so you'd need to stress how teaching him to save is important.

CPtart Wed 13-Dec-17 12:47:33

Let her buy it. My boys' grandma was killed in an accident last year. Wiped out from their lives instantly. Life's too short.

Cupoteap Wed 13-Dec-17 12:47:52

Do t you think he has already proved he is willing and able to save up for it?

Aridane Wed 13-Dec-17 12:48:43

It will give them both great pleasure - let her go ahead. How wonderful to have DGM who wants to share her good fortune with DGS

FaintlyBaffled Wed 13-Dec-17 12:51:08

Thanks for all the input, it confirms what I suspected smile
I will have a chat with her and see how things pan out. I'm not even sure that such things can be magicked up in the space of ten days though confused

jellyandsoup Wed 13-Dec-17 12:51:25

My parents did this on a smaller scale last year, my son was saving for a game's console and they got it for him, he is super close to them and they adore him, he was thrilled and they got as much pleasure from watching him open it. I say let her, I'm sure he will know it's a one off and will remember it forever, grandparents are special, let her indulge him

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