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Would this annoy you?

(31 Posts)
BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 11:56:42

I'm the black sheep of the family. My sister is the golden child so maybe I am seeing insults where none are intended.

I have just received a copy of their Christmas letter. It reads something like:
DD enjoys school although gets in trouble for [minor misdeeds]. DS is still interested in cars and saw a race in the holidays.

DN did well at school. Other DN was this in this play and that in that play. They continue with their activities and were selected for a special coaching bla bla. DN continues with this, DN2 with that, both do another activity, activity, activity, activity. They have been in x local concert and will be taking part in another concert.

No mention of the fact that my DD has been selected for and played in tournaments for an older age group No mention of the activities that both DS and DD do, or that they will both be in a concert next week. No mention of DD dancing on stage in a show.

I mean, I know the whole Christmas letter is a pile of arrogant nonsense, but if it does have to go out why can't it list my DC's achievements too?

Codlet Wed 13-Dec-17 11:59:04

So who are the DNs mentioned in the letter then? A different sibling’s children rather than yours?

If so, yes, I think it’s a bit off if she has mentioned all the children (of that generation) except yours.

BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 12:00:18

Yes, DN's are golden child's DC.
DS and DD are mine.

Nannyplumbrocks Wed 13-Dec-17 12:00:32

Christmas letter?confused

bigbadbarry Wed 13-Dec-17 12:01:56

Why is she writing about your children at all?

Codlet Wed 13-Dec-17 12:03:38

So whose Christmas letter is it? Your sister’s? If so she is not being unreasonable to talk about her own children and not yours.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Wed 13-Dec-17 12:03:56

Yes this would annoy me. Tbh, I don't understand why people maintain relationships with parents who show such obvious favouritism, especially when it is leaking into the next generation. I think the best thing you can do is to spare your children what you are going through and cut your losses. People like your parents never change and improve, they just carry on poisoning relationships with their grandchildren.

Codlet Wed 13-Dec-17 12:04:53

Oh I see what you mean. Sorry I thought DD and DS were her children (ie from the point of view of the letter writer) and DNs were yours. Sorry I get it now.

Codlet Wed 13-Dec-17 12:05:34

Yes, the bit about DD getting in trouble at school would annoy me a lot.

BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 12:06:46

Oh god sorry. Yes it’s my parents’ Christmas letter, talking about their grandchildren blush

Wishingandwaiting Wed 13-Dec-17 12:08:10

No I would t be annoyed.

It’s not my letter. If I want people to know about my children that’s my responsibility. Not my sister’s.

Her letter. Her news.

Wishingandwaiting Wed 13-Dec-17 12:08:44

Ah in that case I suppose I would be hurt

livefornaps Wed 13-Dec-17 12:09:14

Write a letter to them, detailing everything about your kids' activities. Subject line: FYI. With a PS - if you're not going to give the whole picture, then do not write about my children at all.

Ragwort Wed 13-Dec-17 12:19:05

Everyone knows those Christmas letters are a load of rubbish.

My 87 year old father insists on writing one every year - he makes no mention of his wife of 55 years, his three children or his grandchildren grin. One of his friends actually rang up last year to tactfully enquire if DM had died grin.

Starlighter Wed 13-Dec-17 12:23:23

I’ve never heard of these Christmas letters!?!

I’d amend it with your dc’s achievements and send it back to them!

Codlet Wed 13-Dec-17 12:30:23

My Grandma used to receive loads. I think it’s because she knew lots of Americans.

Like the idea of annotating it and sending it back!

BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 13:13:58

grin Ragwort that happened to my grandparents the year my granddad signed some cards just from him!

That’s it IWannaSeeHowItEnds. I kind of want to say something but don’t know if it’s worth it. I’m used to it on my behalf but it’s my DC now and angry

gunsandbanjos Wed 13-Dec-17 13:16:12

That’s so weird, why the heck do you have a family letter?

BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 13:17:52

I have to proofread it!

ElenaBothari Wed 13-Dec-17 13:21:20

Family letters are pretty common aren't they? They're known as round robins or encyclicals - a way of giving all your Christmas card recipients your family news for the year without needing to hand write it into each card.

But yes that would annoy me.

wednesdayswench Wed 13-Dec-17 13:22:33

What don't you ask your parents why they haven't mentioned your children?

lalaloopyhead Wed 13-Dec-17 13:26:41

I think I would be very tempted to ask if that was the best they could come up with to mention about your DC. Ask if that is really their opinion of them, and are they not aware of all their achievements.

I would be then thinking about whether you want your parents treating your children in the same way that they have treated you.

BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 13:27:37

I suppose a “why aren’t my DC’s activities and achievements worth mentioning?” is too aggressive...

BlackSheepHasKids Wed 13-Dec-17 13:29:59

I do try to limit contact to yearly visits and fortnightly calls. DS sees right through them and asked me why they were bothering to visit us last time they came.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree Wed 13-Dec-17 13:31:09

Urgh! I’d Tell them to stop writing to people about my children.

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