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Successfully managing a full on full time job and a toddler, any tips?

(17 Posts)
PlumFairy2014 Tue 12-Dec-17 20:00:57

I have a bit of a quandary...

I have been offered a great job, but it's an hour away (each way) and is full time. I am so excited but so nervous about working more and it upsetting my DD. I really just want someone to tell me they have done it and it worked out beautifully.

I really want my career back, but feel so guilty about it.

DD loves nursery, which helps surely?!

PlumFairy2014 Tue 12-Dec-17 20:03:58

Should add DD is 3, starts school 2019. DH would now have to drop off 3 times a week as I would need to leave earlier.
Massive pay rise compared to current role.

pileoflaundry Tue 12-Dec-17 20:08:11

Congratulations on the new job!

I commute an hour each way. The main problem was not the nursery or the commute, but having to rush home and take random days off for illness. If your DD doesn't pick up every nursery bug going, or if you have backup (e.g. family nearby) then it should be great!

Once I had two children, it became a different ball game and we now have a nanny.

Tisfortired Tue 12-Dec-17 20:09:51

I work full time in a city centre which is an hour commute door to door, DS is 4. He goes to private Nursery 3 days a week and stays with MIL the other two.

He gets his 30 hours now which is a godsend as before 3/4 of my wages went on Nursery fees but I stuck it out because the promotion opportunities are great and I do enjoy it.

I am also very lucky I have a very understanding manager, (she has a DD aged 3) who is sympathetic to things like having emergency days off if DS is sick, and for the nativity recently for example.

It is hard being out of the house for 11 hours of the day and I do really miss DS, but it is all he has known really and absolutely loves Nursery! I think the thing I struggle with most is keeping on top of housework/healthy meals/general life admin and weekends are spent doing these but hey ho!

Good luck in your new job!

Popskipiekin Tue 12-Dec-17 20:11:42

Don’t feel guilty. The number of women who struggle to get back into (FT) work after career breaks or going PT, and the resentment that builds as their career stalls whilst partner’s takes off - you only need to see the threads on this to know this is a very real and sad possibility.

DD will adapt, you will both thrive I am sure, sounds like you’re so keen on the new role.
One word of caution re the commute and nursery, however. Have you left yourself enough time for there to be delays but nursery still be open and happy to keep DD, or is it a tight 1hr turnaround? This could be pretty stressful on a daily basis...

PlumFairy2014 Tue 12-Dec-17 20:19:58

Thanks for all the replies.

pileoflaundry how pricey is a Nanny? Do they generally come to you?

Pop I have really struggled leaving my job and watching DH shoot through promotions. Now he earns more and this will help even that balance. DH would be doing the drop off and usually pick up, the nursery times would be perfect with the time of his commute. (15 mins!)

PlumFairy2014 Tue 12-Dec-17 20:20:53

And I am SO delighted to be offered this job, very rare opportunity and wouldn't become available again for years and never in quite this way.
Amazed I got an interview and even more amazed I got it!!!

Shenanagins Tue 12-Dec-17 20:26:00

We do our shopping online and have a cleaner, really helps to give us time at the weekend. It is possible!

Oly5 Tue 12-Dec-17 20:27:49

You can do it! I have three and work full time. It’s not easy but can be done. Things that have worked for us are being very organised with clothes out the night before/bags packed/getting up early/having a cleaner/having a nanny or au pair depending on the year. Having a partner who pulls his weight is a must! You also need to work out what you will do if DD is ill. But you absolutely should have a career. Men don’t even give this a second thought!

trilbydoll Tue 12-Dec-17 20:32:31

Are you planning to have more dc? The only reason I ask is that we have found it really difficult having them in two places (dd1 at school / afterschool club dd2 at nursery) and we are both only 15 minutes from home. Definitely worth considering a nanny or a childminder if that's the longer term plan.

Since dd1 started school we've had a cleaner and it's amazing, I can't recommend it enough grin

PlumFairy2014 Tue 12-Dec-17 20:38:04

Weekends... this is the other thing. I would work 3 out of 4 weekends and my husband works Mon-Fri.
We would have evenings and one weekend a month together.
Make it easier on DD as we will have 2 weekdays together most weeks and the weekend with DH.

Thecomfortador Tue 12-Dec-17 20:41:34

I accepted a full time job when ds was 21 months. It's working out well, though he does 2 days nursery and dad works from home one day plus nana two days. So I'm very lucky not to spend all my wages on childcare.

The hardest part is getting out in the mornings and not having time to do everything at night. I'm exhausted and the housework leaves much to be desired, but I enjoy working and it's for the best in the long term.

Janetjanetjanet Tue 12-Dec-17 20:42:14

Er, yes, do it.

I recently went back to work full time. Both DC'S in daycare.

Saves your sanity.

Janetjanetjanet Tue 12-Dec-17 20:44:08

Sorry, see you need tips!

Pack bags night before, including lunch
Get clothes out night before
Get up half an hour earlier to get yourself ready
Batch cook at weekends /meal plan

Tisfortired Wed 13-Dec-17 08:09:15

DS 4

Stocking

3 toy dinosaurs (inc diplodocus which I hunted high and low for because it's his fave!)
Electric Spider-Man toothbrush
Spider-Man cup
Thornton's Santa lolly
Kinder egg Christmas pack
A GIANT multi coloured crayon
Spider-Man colouring book
A 'paint your own' model giraffe

Presents

A big toy kitchen
Pots, pans, crockery and food for the kitchen
A bike
Mrs potato head
Kerplunk
A beautifully illustrated 'under the sea' book
Some new Vans
A new backpack
Maui's hook
Lion guard and Moana DVD's
Dressing up outfits

I'm so excited for Christmas!!

helpmum2003 Wed 13-Dec-17 08:14:23

PlumFairy2014 well done on getting the job! I've not worked FT since having DC so can't comment on that. What really stands out for me is that you'd be working 3 of 4 weekends. This will really impact on your family time and relationship time.

OhCarrieMathison Wed 13-Dec-17 13:47:32

PlumFairy2014 congratulations on your new job.
I recently got an interview and got the job for a new full post which I can't quite believe I got!
Like you, I'm really excited about the job but very nervous about working full time.
I have 3 children but eldest is at uni so not really counted at the moment.
My younger 2 are 8 & 3.
Af the moment I work 3 days and do 2 drop offs in the morning (Breakfast club and private nursery) then one day I drop DD off from private to school nursery in my lunch break.
My parents do the other day and she doesn't have school nursery on a Friday afternoon.
We always seem to be in a guddle and I do a lot of housework on the Monday and Tuesday that I don't work. Although you will still have a couple of days of off during the week so can catch up on washing and housework.

I think we're going to get a cleaner and I might look into seeing if a nanny could work out for us.

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