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I’ve lied and I now feel bad. Xmas gift related

(214 Posts)
SnowIsFalling17 Tue 12-Dec-17 10:04:24

I have a ex friend. Our Boys have grown up together since toddler group. We used to be really close as did our DSs. They have been together all the way through school.

Our friendship started to dwindle last year for multiple reasons that I’m not going into. Her DS was bullying mine, it’s stopped now but mine gives hers a wide birth.

I still see her at school and events and we both remain friendly but we now have no contact what so ever out of school and we no longer socialize together.

Anyway ever since her DS was small, pretty much since I’ve known her every year she asks what we are buying DS for Xmas. She then goes out and buys the exact same gift. It’s always the main gift. It’s a bit annoying but it really doesn’t concern me until last year.

We bought DS a expensive gift we knew he would love. He didn’t ask for it as he thought it would be too expensive. She asked and I told her what it was. She went and bought the same. A few days later her DS told ours what he was getting. As you can imagine me and DH were really pissed off to have the surprise ruined, we had saved up for a while to get this gift. Words were had with her.

Anyway I still see her occasionally and we are civil to each other. On Saturday we were both at a event and she was making small talk and asked what DS was getting for Xmas. My head was saying tell her I’m not prepared to tell you after what happened last year but it came across as really rude so instead I lied and made up the first thing that came to my mind. I said MacBook as that’s the first thing that came to mind as I’d seen them earlier in the day in Curry’s.

My DS is not getting a MacBook, but I’ve seen her this morning and she’s said she’s ordered one for her son and how nice it will be as the boys can FaceTime each other. Obviously they can’t as we don’t own one, even if we did my DS wouldn’t as he has nothing to do with her DS.

But I’m feeling quite guilty now as I know they as a family are really not well off and they are struggling financially. I feel really bad about it. I also feel our kids are really too young to appreciate it and they have no need for such a item.

What do I do now? I can’t take back what I’ve said can I?

TrojansAreSmegheads Tue 12-Dec-17 10:06:08

it's not your problem.

i'd have done the same.

PersianCatLady Tue 12-Dec-17 10:06:34

Don't worry about it.

Not your fault that she bought it, I have never heard anything so pathetic.

acornsandnuts Tue 12-Dec-17 10:09:24

Meh, it was a passing comment. It’s not your fault if she’s bat shit and buys the same as you do. If she asks anything after Christmas just say you changed your mind.

It’s all her issue not yours.

PersianCatLady Tue 12-Dec-17 10:11:23

Why do you care any way?

What sort of person buys a ridiculously priced laptop for a child when they can't really afford It??

Bluntness100 Tue 12-Dec-17 10:11:38

I think this will be a problem if your son thinks he is getting one and may be disappointed on Xmas morning.

cakesonatrain Tue 12-Dec-17 10:11:49

She is a loon.
Not your problem in the slightest.

Bluntness100 Tue 12-Dec-17 10:12:41

You can tell her you changed your mind and still haven’t decided.

TimeIhadaNameChange Tue 12-Dec-17 10:13:35

Forget about it. You haven't forced them to go and spend the money, it's their choice. If it comes up in the future just say you changed your mind.

The only problem I foresee is your DS thinking he's getting one and then feeling let-down, but you must be able to get round that somehow.

ChilliMum Tue 12-Dec-17 10:16:02

Really not your problem. If she says anything after Christmas sat you had a rethink and went with something else grin. Hopefully it will be a lesson to her.

My only concern would be a repeat if last year and your son being dissapointed on Christmas day if he thinks he is getting a mac book.

Sarahjconnor Tue 12-Dec-17 10:17:14

Tell her you changed your mind next time you see her. Not for her sake, so her ds doesn't tell yours and leave him disappointed on xmas morn.

TheMamaYo Tue 12-Dec-17 10:17:46

I would just tell her I've changed my mind!

AnnaT45 Tue 12-Dec-17 10:18:30

She bought her kid a MacBook because you said you were? That's not normal!

If she asks why you didn't get one say you decided it was too much in the end

GrockleBocs Tue 12-Dec-17 10:18:43

It is not your responsibility. You didn't tell her to buy one.

CaoNiMa Tue 12-Dec-17 10:19:02

She sounds like an absolute head-case.

I'd be coming up with more and more outlandish stuff each year, if I were you.

RapunzelsRealMom Tue 12-Dec-17 10:19:19

"Yes, I was think of getting DS a MacBook but I changed my mind."

Absolutely not your problem. She is ridiculous to do this if she can't afford it, not to mention continually copying you. Forget it

Imbroglio Tue 12-Dec-17 10:19:32

I laughed out loud when I read that. It's perfect come-uppance. She should think of her own presents in future. If she challenges you, just look surprised and say you changed your mind, what's the issue?

But now you are going to have to get your child something even better. A unicorn or a pet phoenix, minimum.

Youngmystery Tue 12-Dec-17 10:21:51

Aw this could have been a good opportunity if you wanted to be mean to tell her you were getting him something really weird that neither kid would like. Least she'd stay away then.

Samcro Tue 12-Dec-17 10:22:17

op sorry i thought that was funny,
not your fault if she is that daft

HappyEverIftar Tue 12-Dec-17 10:23:27

I really wouldn't give this any more brain time - her lack of independent thought isn't something you can control. If the boys really were friendly, there are other mediums in which they can stay in touch.

If this was me, I wouldn't feel guilty in the slightest, especially as you're not close.

monkeywithacowface Tue 12-Dec-17 10:24:55

Meh she's an idiot leave her to it and don't feel bad

letsdolunch321 Tue 12-Dec-17 10:25:33

Clearly a woman without her own ideas/mind. Let her crack on.

Hope her son is happy with his gift

SleepFreeZone Tue 12-Dec-17 10:26:50

Agree with PP, you need to give your DS the heads up that you lied or else he's going to be expecting a MacBook for Christmas as her son will no doubt blurt it out.

Btw this woman is not your friend.

GraceHelen Tue 12-Dec-17 10:27:21

No need to feel guilty. She's mad if she thinks it's normal to act in such a way. And certainly she can't object if it turns out you don't buy that for your DS. And I wouldn't mention it to her unless she brings it up, then you just can say you changed your mind. You did nothing wrong!

Ceebs85 Tue 12-Dec-17 10:27:30

YABU. Next year tell her you've got him a bentley

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