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I need to keep sane and vent or I’ll explode 💥💥 (bad houseguest)

(107 Posts)
2ManyShenanigans Sun 10-Dec-17 18:40:11

My dh’s 19 year old nephew is staying with us. He’s working nearby. He has been here since Thursday and is staying until next Saturday 😱😱. I’ve ducking had enough of him.

He never picks his plate up from the table. He’ll get up and go and wash his hands at the kitchen sink but he won’t take his fucking plate.

He blocked our toilet yesterday with a big shit and my poor dd(4) was blamed. She wouldn’t do a shit that big.

I got pizza yesterday and he claims he got a dodgy stomach because of it..(WE’RE ALL FINE)

He’s got a horrible cough and does this horrible sound to cough.

He answers back very rudely. For example, he just asked my dh what our county was. We told him. He claims we’re wrong. I told him out city was X and county was Xshire and our town was Y. He starts going yeah yeah ok yeah I know that. Arsehole.

Dh took him out for a walk to town. They went to the shops and he comes back making horrible deep moaning sounds that his legs are hurting because he doesn’t walk since he got a car.

I’ve had enough. I can’t say anything to dh because he’s actually really being nice and helping doing the washing/cleaning/cooking because he knows I’ve had enough. We can’t tell him to go because it’s such bad weather and his mum doesn’t want him driving too far due to being a new driver.


ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 10-Dec-17 18:42:04

He's 19. Give him a break.

2ManyShenanigans Sun 10-Dec-17 18:43:08

I knew how to pick a plate up and put it in the sink at 19. 😖

MorrisZapp Sun 10-Dec-17 18:43:18

Aww. None of those things are that bad.

Handsfull13 Sun 10-Dec-17 18:44:55

Well he sounds lovely 🤔
I would politely ask him everytime he gets up from dinner to take his plate with him. Do it with a smile and he can't really say no.
Unfortunately by the sounds of it your stuck with everything else. Just make sure he isn't allowed to come stay again.
Have a cup of tea or glass of something and enjoy so tv and ignore him

B0033 Sun 10-Dec-17 18:45:18

Have you made your expectations clear wrt clearing up after himself? He was probably embarrassed about the toilet - I certainly would've been!

Why did you agree to have him stay so long if you don't enjoy his company?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 10-Dec-17 18:46:04

Make doing the dishwasher his job this week.

LaContessaDiPlump Sun 10-Dec-17 18:46:36

Two things:

1) Ask him to put his plate in the sink when he's done. Say you're trying to set a good example for DR or something. Similarly pick him up (politely) on instances where you'd normally not pick up another adult, as he sounds rather immature. He may benefit from being told. He certainly won't learn anything if you just silently fume.

2) Your DH 'helps' with housework? How very kind of him hmm

LaContessaDiPlump Sun 10-Dec-17 18:47:08


MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 10-Dec-17 18:47:53

You need to tell him to take his plate out every single time. The second time you tell him, say, "Am I going to have to say this every single time?" Has he been spoiled at home?

Crumbs1 Sun 10-Dec-17 18:48:13

Maybe just say “Fred bring your plate through please”. I think his crimes are being overstated.

bringbacksideburns Sun 10-Dec-17 18:52:06

Tell your dh to have a word about cleaning up after himself and being rude.

It's really not that hard OP if it's annoying you that much!

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 10-Dec-17 18:54:51

It’s your home. You’re the grown ups. Be nice and clear with him about your expectations.

2ManyShenanigans Sun 10-Dec-17 18:55:47

I have 3 kids aswell. It’s like having a 4th one who I can’t discipline. Ill have a word with dh ☹️

ivykaty44 Sun 10-Dec-17 18:56:33

Tell him to take his plate out and put in the sink, as it’s expected

Give him prunes for breakfast, that’ll sort his big shits out

Show him this photo of people who don’t walk

Tell him not to snap as it’s offensive

2ManyShenanigans Sun 10-Dec-17 18:59:26


He doesn’t eat breakfast ☹️

Cavender Sun 10-Dec-17 19:05:50

I understand OP.

We live abroad and regularly have friends and family visiting for weeks.

It’s not that any one thing it too bad, it’s the cumulative effect of bad behaviour and lack of privacy.

I’ve learned to grit my teeth. We often celebrate the night after guests leave.

Littlechocola Sun 10-Dec-17 19:06:30

Tell him that if he acts like a child you will treat him like one.

2ManyShenanigans Thu 14-Dec-17 11:16:19

So after this post he was sat giggling on his phone and my ds (5) was shouting at him to delete something. I asked to see the phone and found a video from last year of my ds being told by arsehole to pick his nose and eat it. This is when he was 4 because I recognised the clothes he was wearing and haircut. I was so pissed off I deleted it. He is now pissed off at me and refuses to eat food I make when dh isn’t here and barks back at me when I talk to him. Last night we made butterscotch pudding and I sent him a plate up to his room which he sent back with dd saying he doesn’t want it.

I’ve really had enough now. Ungrateful shit.

SpartonDregs Thu 14-Dec-17 11:19:39

'That is fine, you are free to leave if you don't like it here. Let me help you pack.'

Neolara Thu 14-Dec-17 11:24:19

Totally agree with SpartonDregs. Really. He's 19. He's not one of your dcs. He's behaving like an arse. You don't have to put up with it. It's should be pretty easy for him to understand that if someone is doing him an enormous favour by letting him stay in their house, he shouldn't piss them off being being rude.

chickenowner Thu 14-Dec-17 11:28:39

I would stop cooking anything for him at the very least.

stitchglitched Thu 14-Dec-17 11:29:17

If he wants to behave like a child I'd be ringing his parents and telling them to come and collect him, and exactly why.

NewStartAgainReallyThisTime Thu 14-Dec-17 11:30:55

He's an adult and you owe him nothing. If he's ungrateful, he can find a place elsewhere.

SpartonDregs Thu 14-Dec-17 11:31:01

If he wants to behave like a child I'd be ringing his parents and telling them to come and collect him, and exactly why

He has a car, so he can pack up and leave without mummy and daddy's help.

He is a pisstaking little shit. And he needs to either appreciate the favour or fuck off.

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