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Tell me about your shitty year?(50 Posts)
It’s only 3 weeks till 2018 and I’m honestly just barely not drowning in what has been the most difficult year of my life. I need cheering up, and have decided that reading about other people going through shit might at least give me a sense of solidarity?
My short and sweet story? Marriage on the rocks, financial instability, major health downturn which included an unexpected month in hospital and the realisation that I’ll spend most of my life in a wheelchair, but every service I’ve engaged with has let me down, some in rather dramatic ways. And 4 children who have exactly one week left until the summer holidays. And all of them have various issues. Oh - my life has been been extra-wonderfully enhanced by the sheer nastiness of the so-called supportive accomodation that left my sister sharing a flat with a sexual predator and when an intervention order was taken out did their best to make her homeless.
Please wallow in misery with me?
Yours is worse than mine, but I broke & dislocated my ankle in Jan while heavily pregnant with a toddler. 2 surgeries. Baby by c section. C section wound infected. Leg surgery wounds infected with confirmed mrsa. High strength antibiotics that played havoc with my digestion. Baby emergency hospitalised with bronchiolitis at 4 weeks. Boobs shredded due to tongue tie missed until 9 weeks. DD fell, concussion, facial injuries, refused all food and drink until she ended.up in hospital on a drip (over my birthday!) DD having severe speech problems and being investigated for autism. My ankle still painful 8 months later, xray shows osteoarthritis, nothing to be done about it. I have a job with a mandatory fitness test I can't pass because it's too painful to run. Getting told a few weeks before return to work that DH is getting moved role and shifts, so our carefully written working patterns mean fuck all and leaves us with a massive childcare crisis. The baby getting disgusting conjunctivitis and DD getting D&V juat before a booked and paid for trip to Thomasland, last minute cancellation. Needing to buy a new oven when skint on maternity pay. And tonight both DC have horrible coughs and colds so I'm fuxking knackered.
I'm with you on this - 2017 has been my own personal annus horribilis and cannot wait til NYE to see the back of this miserable, bastarding year.
or if you need something stronger OP.
Do one 2017
My son broke his arm twice - in January and then again in October.
I broke my arm very badly in April, and then when it hadn't healed by July I had to have surgery to have a plate inserted.
My mother had two heart attacks in August and was in intensive care for two weeks.
One of my cats got bitten by a brown snake in February (we live in Australia - this is one of the world's deadliest snakes) and although he survived it cost us $2000.
Same cat developed a blocked bladder in October and had to have emergency surgery. Another $1500.
Dog tore his ACL in November and is currently recovering from surgery. That was $2000.
But we are all still alive so I guess we're winning?
I am getting divorced but H is being difficult so it is dragging on and costing a lot.
Middle dd has OCD and now it looks as if she is just not getting put of bed .
Not too bad compared to other people's problems though. for all of you.
Without going into details, 2016 was a terrible year for me for relationships, work, money, domestic life and mental health. Some spectacular failures on all of those fronts.
And now I’m sitting here at the end of 2017 realising that everything has been transformed in all of those areas. Not trying to sound smug, just that things often get better without you even noticing it. And then you look back and think, wow, I made it past all that shit. And you will!
Mum and sister both passed away this year. Fell out with a sister i was very close to. Glad this year is nearly over. Dont want another one like it
Not as bad as these but.
Diagnosed with a serious medical condition.
Then my Mum was diagnosed with a terminal condition plus other diagnoses and had been looking iller and frailer.
Had a whole load of crap occur with one of the teen dc who has learning difficulties and did something really stupid and put herself in a stupid and potentially dangerous position.
In May some little scum bag blew up the arena I had been in days before and four people I or my kids knew lost people.
Never really moved on from that tbh.
Turned 40. Two miscarriages (second one resulting in a blue light trip to hospital). Lost job just after second one. DH scared to TTC again. Three (fucking three!) people announced pregnancies yesterday.
My dad died in June.
My lovely boss left in April, triggering a restructuring at work (no redundancies thankfully but lots of hassle).
On Tuesday I was in a car crash. Again, thankfully not seriously injured but shaken, bruised and car is a write off.
We are getting a puppy in the new year though. I'm hoping it will be a real new start.
MIL died unexpectedly. We live overseas and we came back to the UK as soon as it all happened to sort everything out and I ended up falling out with my parents spectacularly (unrelated to MIL dying) Relationship still very fractured.
MIL left behind a really weird and unexpected will that has caused a lot of resentment and bitterness between DH and his siblings, who were previously incredibly close.
Had 2 MCs, including one that was very drawn out and traumatic.
Toddler DS has been hospitalized three times with asthma, twice when we have been overseas on holiday. (Thank fuck for that unused Spanish degree)
Yesterday I had a healthy 12 week scan and the day before, my boss said I had been put forward for a promotion. So I don't want to get too excited just yet, but 2017 at least seems to be ending on a happy note.
I don't want to wish away any of my time with DS, but 2017 has been a real shitter, and I'm so glad it's over.
I hope we all have happier years ahead.
My mum passed away in June, then my Dad passed away in August. This has been one horrible year for me.
My house flooded, causing thousands of pounds worth of damage.
My two elderly cats both died within weeks of each other.
My dad was told he was at high risk of a stroke or heart or heart attack.
My dog, who wasn't old, was taken ill very suddenly and had to be PTS.
Yes, I'll be glad to see the back of this shitty year as well!
Wow. Sorry to hear about your bad years
We've had our own tough year. Lived pretty much hand to mouth all year but then in August my fil tragically died and my dp has been on a downward spiral of depression since which is affecting the whole household.
My dgm was diagnosed with dementia ( I am her carer- unofficial as I'm also a carer for ds who has asd ) and she has deteriorated rapidly.
Then just last week I was diagnosed with a lifelong condition which causes me severe pain.
Can't wait for a new year to start.
Hugs to all...
5 house moves
Police contacted and said they’d forgotten to investigate the rape I reported a few years ago and now it was too late to do anything about it.
Went to hospital with suspected appendicitis. Came out after a week with an ovarian cancer diagnosis. Had surgery and 6 weeks off work.
Stepdad told me Mum was going to dignitas and then he would kill himself. Reported it to social care who visited and said there’s no truth in it, just him being manipulative.
This year I’ve learnt to ask for help and be more resilient so it’s not all lost.
Let me tell you about 2016-2017 (approx the last year and a half)
DM is very ill, and worse by the day.
MIL is now in a mental health facility
DPs anxiety and depression has gone into overdrive
DP lost two jobs in a row, one right before my maternity leave
He gets offered a new job on the same day I find out my office is being closed and we’re all being made redundant.
Yep been a bit of a crap year here
Christmas and New Year - caught the awful cold going round had Pleurisy which lasted 7 weeks
Spring. Out of the blue work set about a restructure, really stressful time which resulted in myself and 10 close colleagues getting the push in July.
May - my then relatively fit elderly mother was admitted to hospital, during her stay developed pneumonia and we were told she would die. Spent nights sitting with her before going into said crap time at work.
Mum survived came home during the one hot week we had unable to do anything for herself. Lasted a week, back in hospital with heart problems and again nearly died.
Holiday cancelled, Mum survived, now lives with us IT. IS. A. BLOODY. NIGHTMARE
Sibling who lives at other end of country, visited once with his wife .... criticised how I was caring for mum, caused a row, left, hasn't spoken or visited since.
Since August I have had no respite from (a very angry, frail, confused and demanding mother). I am defeated.
In late September by favourite but elderly guinea pig died - peacefully in her sleep.
October DH knocked off his bike, broken arm and grazes. My car fails it's MOT spectacularly
In the time since I have been made redundant I have applied for, and not been interviewed for, 3 jobs. The dream job I wanted included.
It really is one day at a time here.
For everyone else who has had a challenging year 💐💐💐💐
Nowhere near as bad as what I've just read but bad for us nonetheless:
Cat (who I've had 10 years since a litre) got a really awful ear infection resulting in 3 surgeries and him almost dying.
Sold and bought a house which caused months of stress as it looked like it wasn't going to go through.
Then missed miscarriage in August and not been able to get pregnant since, plus turned 39.
Lump in boob which was investigated but thankfully turned out to be nothing.
Fall outs with family, family politics and not being able to plan our wedding as need to put baby making first.
Flaming everyone around me announcing pregnancies
My dad died on my birthday. I am still struggling immensely with it 9 months later.
Can I extend it to a bad 18 months?
Last summer my beloved nan was hospitalised with something relatively minor, had a very minor stroke, was in a fabulous hospital then moved to another hospital 8 miles away (because the one she was in no longer had a stroke unit) where the treatment was awful and following another minor stroke she decided to refuse treatment and food and I had to sit and watch her starve herself to death for four weeks.
I was diagnosed with a condition that has impacted on my memory which was once very sharp and sometimes I forget things leading to the occasional break down in tears as I try to recall things. I will probably get dementia.
Beginning of this year my aunt collapsed at home and was rushed to hospital. Suspected aneurysm turned out to be an large brain tumour. Six hours of emergency surgery and not expected to survive. She did, but was left paralysed from the neck down. She was 50, so 7 years older than me. They had three young children, the youngest of whom is 11 and had cancer when she was 2 and seeing a child going through all the treatment was hideous.
This summer my grandfather died (fortunately in the nice hospital). Two weeks later a friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer, was given three weeks but lasted one week. I had to speak at her funeral.
Another friend was diagnosed with cancer of the eye and is undergoing treatment while another friend has been diagnosed with another terminal cancer and has at most one year to go.
My best friend let me down badly over my nan's death but I allowed her back in to my life. Then she let me down again this year following my grandfather's death.
My paralysed aunt had a bleed on the brain and died last month.
I was going to post about what I have struggled with this year.
But after reading the above I am counting my blessings, even though I struggle to see them sometimes.
to all the above.
Ds then aged 9 was admitted to hospital NYE with constipation.
On 3rd January he had a CT scan which revealed a brain tumour. 5th January he had a six hour brain surgery to remove the tumour. Surgery left him with left sided weakness and balance issues. Testing showed the tumour to be high risk medulloblastoma and he also had cancer cells in his spinal fluid. He then had a Hickman line fitted. He then had two groin lines inserted to retrieve his stem cells and then removed again. We were in hospital for five weeks.
After discharge, every day for six weeks and one day through feb/mar he received high dose radiotherapy to his head and spine.
Then we had a break before starting high dose chemo in May. He had four cycles over four months and we spent almost all of may through to end of August in hospital receiving chemo, fluids, stem cells, medications, blood transfusions, platelet infusions. The majority of our time was spent in isolation. It was also during chemo that he had to have an NG tube passed as he had lost too much weight through lack of appetite and puking. He turned 10 in August and had chemo for his birthday in isolation and a new NG tube as he'd puked his last one up.
On 5th September he rang the end of treatment bell.
The chemo has caused high frequency hearing loss for which we are awaiting a consultation to see if he needs hearing aids.
The chemo has also caused foot drop and he is having insoles fitted into his shoes next week to hopefully help with his balance.
He is relearning to write using his right hand.
He is under regular review for his eyes because the radio could cause problems such as cataracts and he suffers on and off with what he calls "wobbly eyes".
Due to the radio he will lose IQ points, have memory issues, processing issues....so we are currently going through the process of statementing him in preparation for high school in September.
He is currently on a phased return to school, going as and when he can inbetween appointments.
In October we had the best news EVER! He is officially in remission woo hoo. Tomorrow we are having an end of treatment party. Next scan due January......
I also have to girls aged 13 and 16 and feel like I've barely seen them this year.
So all in all I'd say we've had a pretty shit year. Roll on January.
Muddling- I've never ever cried after reading anything on here but your post got me and my heart was in my mouth until the end, I'm so pleased your ds is in remission!
What an amazing little boy you have.
Here's to a much better 2018 for us all
DH diagnosed with cancer and subsequently had major surgery. He is having a minor procedure relating to this a couple of days before Christmas.
DSF severely disabled with complex medical conditions was then diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Chemotherapy is making him feel very poorly.
DF developed an antibiotic resistant infection and is now on an end of life pathway.
DSM frail and unsteady but coping pretty well.
DM broke her hip last week so currently in hospital, she's being very demanding.
This week I've had to arrange for DSF to go into a nursing home for respite care.
Many of you have endured an awful 2017, much worse than mine. To all of you I hope 2018 is a kinder year. Pass these amongst yourselves cheers!
My 'bad' year pales into insignificance compared to what you, your son and family have had to cope with this year.
You have put my moans into perspective and made me give thanks and determined to not complain.
I wish you all the very best, enjoy your party and the Christmas period 💐
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