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SAHM. Finding it hard to cope

(3 Posts)
Imaginosity Fri 24-Nov-17 11:30:27

I've been off work for one year and I have to be off work for the next two or three years. I'm due to go back to work then, preferably in 2 years.

I'm finding it so hard. My life now is so pointless and lonely.

I used to think I'd enjoy collecting my children from school and being able to do homework with them but I see now how much better for them it is to go to afterschool with lots of friends to play with for a few hours before I collect them. They still go two days a week and love it.

They like coming home with me too but there is no particular advantage in being home 3 hours earlier. We have more time than when I was working but its hard to fill the time.

I'm so lonely too. I've tried baby groups - i went to them about 8 years ago with my older child too and I kind of feel like - been there, done that.

I'm bored meeting people for coffee. There's only so many times you can meet people. There's not many people around to meet anyway as I don't know that many people and most of them are at work. The other days are just a bit pointless. The one thing I might do in a day is pop to a shopping centre to pick up something. I do a bit of housework and help children with homework but it feels like groundhog day - sorting the laundry yet again, loading the dishwasher etc.

I'm not cut out for this. I see other people who love being at home - I don't understand how they do it. Maybe they have a better attitude than me or enjoy the things I complain about.

CotswoldStrife Fri 24-Nov-17 11:39:57

Do you have a baby? (you mentioned baby groups). How old is your youngest, under a year old?

Not everyone enjoys being a SAHM. I assume there is a specific reason that you say you will be out of the workplace for another year or so.

Does your school-aged child do any after-school activities? That can be a good way of meeting other people yourself.

I do understand the loneliness, it can be tough. We relocated when our child started school so I lost any pre-school friendships and it's been tough going! I spend a lot of time on my own but have started doing craft classes to get me out and about - also a good way of meeting people. If you have any childcare available (not everyone does, us included) see if there is a group or class that might interest you as you might find it easier to meet people other than through parenthood, if that makes sense!

Eeeeek2 Fri 24-Nov-17 11:49:16

I only have 1 dc at 1 year but I to find it relentless and monotonous.

Things that I find make things better is I don’t do lots of housework everyday, I usually throw a hoover around, load of washing and wash up but otherwise I do most housework on 1/2 day/s a week so I don’t feel like I’m cleaning all week.

I’ve joined a local leisure centre that offers 4 groups for parent and baby which allows me to get out and also exercise. I hate baby groups because mostly there is established groups of friends or there is a sense of competition over child’s milestones.

Why don’t you try and find something to do rather than coming home 3 hours earlier? Park, national trust home, museum, swimming? Occupies time, more fun and less mess at home.

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