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Does your 7 year old still tantrum?

(24 Posts)
Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 08:15:37

Dd1 didn't at this age, but she didn't tantrum much, ever. DD2 tantrums daily, probably. Whenever things don't happen EXACTLY as she would like them to. She doesn't comprise or negotiate. All he'll lets loose. Like toddler tantrum

She has had some issues, so I'm sure that is a factor. But I am just trying to gauge if there is a spectrum, or if she is way off the scale. I haven't really seen other children her age behaving like this. But she doesn't do it in public either.

Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 08:43:44

It's just DD?

hotdog74 Tue 21-Nov-17 09:50:54

I have a 7 year old DD and I can't say that she really tantrums in a toddler way. We definitely have had an increase in the sass level and some back chat, but she doesn't scream or roll on the floor type thing if that is what you mean?

Haudyerwheesht Tue 21-Nov-17 09:52:36

Dd doesn't but did as a toddler.

Ds never did as a toddler but did as a 7 year old.

Haudyerwheesht Tue 21-Nov-17 09:53:11

Oh forgot to say dd is 7 now and ds is 10.

Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 10:03:10

but she doesn't scream or roll on the floor type thing if that is what you mean?

Yep, unfortunately, that is what I mean. Sustained screaming/raging/crying, for hours

Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 10:04:01

haud as a 10 yo, has ds outgrown it?

Haudyerwheesht Tue 21-Nov-17 10:08:16

@sensimilla errrr mostly. It's hard to say definitively because for various reasons he's had a rough couple of years so although it's calmed down ALOT it's not 100% gone but I'm not sure if that's because of what's happened iyswim?

DonkeyOaty Tue 21-Nov-17 10:10:14

Sustained screaming raging and rolling around the floor, that was gone by the end of reception for my lot.

What other issues does she have? Maybe we can help you to narrow down what's going on?

QueenOfMyDomain Tue 21-Nov-17 10:11:58

My 6 year old does but he is being assessed for Autism as he also has other issues.
My DD has never had those type of tantrums.

Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 10:14:05

She has PTSD donkey from bullying, including sexual that has to be a factor. BUT, my gut feeling is, it isn't totally down to that.

It's probably not realistic to expect an answer here, given her complex history. I will speak to her psychologist. I just wondered if 7 yo's who haven't had issues, are sometimes still behaving like this

DonkeyOaty Tue 21-Nov-17 10:26:19

Oh poor girl, I'm so sorry. Speaking to the psychologist is a good idea.

How do you feel about filming an episode, to show the psychologist? It feels a bit weird I know but they might be able to interpret her body language and whatnot?

Best wishes.

SparklingSnowfall Tue 21-Nov-17 10:28:56

DS is 6.5, I'd say full-blown tantrum about once every 3 months or so, lot's of strops and moodiness in between but much lower level. He had EPIC tantrums as a toddler.

Pygmypuffhunt Tue 21-Nov-17 10:33:17

My dd had a rough time at 7-seemed to have a lot of tantrums/meltdowns whatever. We wondered if she had something else going on but seems to have grown out of it now at 8.5 although she is still what you might call 'highly strung' and needs careful management (at home-seems fine at school etc.)

didyouseethesunwasred Tue 21-Nov-17 10:37:16

My 9 year old dd has huge tantrums but she does also have SEN and mental health problems including ptsd

Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 10:42:55

That's interesting you think the tantrums are a result of the PTSD

I think I have touched on this with psych previously (we have discussed so much, it's been a big of a fog), not so much the tantrums but the non-comprising aspect...and I think she said it's an attempt to control, because of feeling vulnerable and scared. Which makes sense

SuseB Tue 21-Nov-17 10:43:51

I have a very highly-strung just 7yo who has epic strops and tantrums. She has always been like it, I think it is in her nature - there aren't any particular issues contributing to it. She is very bright and emotionally literate and just seems to 'feel' things very strongly and impulsively. She will shout and scream and stamp around, slam doors etc. I find she tends to 'get it out' and then feel better. As long as it's not directed at me/siblings or causing damage to the house, which it isn't usually, I leave her to get on with it and then talk to her about it when she's calmed down. Definitely worse when she's tired/hungry/under the weather. She does have a bit more self-regulation now than she did when she was a toddler and has more self-awareness too, so I expect that as time passes she will learn to control herself a bit more. In the meantime it keeps family life interesting hmm

Oncemorewithlessfeeling Tue 21-Nov-17 11:30:31

I have a DD 7 who occasionally had huge tantrums when she was 6 - screaming, throwing herself on the floor, hitting out etc. She was a very easy going toddler and never had tantrums.

We didn’t realise it until after a few tantrums that she was having some issues at school and was being bullied. That has now been resolved and she hasn’t had a tantrum for a while now but she does have frequent strops and can be argumentative. She’s a bright, outgoing but quite sensitive and is very well behaved at school. I think sometimes she bottles things up and it all comes out at home, particularly when she is tired and/or hungry.

heron98 Tue 21-Nov-17 11:41:56

Hate to say it but I had toddler-style rolling on the floor tantrums until I was about 15 blush, I was quite a nightmare child though.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Tue 21-Nov-17 11:45:20

No, my DD doesn’t tantrum.

She’s moved on to sulking with crossed arms instead!

SeaEagleFeather Tue 21-Nov-17 11:53:43

Mine tantrummed at 7, badly. Had to restrain him to stop him hurting us or breakign things.

He's had a rough time and that really has a lot to do with it but it seems after assessment that there is something inborn in him too. He's not quite on the autistic spectrum but he was assessed as having quite a lot of traits and the teachers at school find that they have to treat him in the same way they do children with autism.

He has partly grown out of it and the severity has certainly lessened (9 now). It helped that we changed our parenting style too and also we have to be very careful that he gets quiet periods in the day and not too much stimulation overall. And we have to strictly regulate his computer time or he becomes much more reactive and tantrum prone!

didyouseethesunwasred Tue 21-Nov-17 12:18:45

I think she is already at a heightened state of anxiety, stress etc a lot of the time so little things can push her over.

On a course I once did they likened it to a glass of water. We start with our glass empty at the beginning of the day and little annoying things slowly fill it up and it goes back down with relaxing etc.

She starts the day with hers already at least half ful of water. So these little annoying thing slowly fill it up til it spills over. A lot quicker than I or a non traumatised child would spill.

Not sure if that makes any sense!! Haha

theEagleIsLost Tue 21-Nov-17 13:01:12

yes - but not every day though frequent.

They all started fairly early as well and kept going peaked around 7 /8bit later for DS. My 12 year old has occasional one when she can't find something but it seems mainly sulky now.

It's often anxiety driven - though it doesn't make it easier to deal with and they don't always seem to know what they are upset about. In fact one will seem to shore up stress for school day and act up on walk home and at home.

I do wonder if there is more going on.

However they cope at school with few rare excption when younger trigger by others at school and DH was away a lot and now had long days out of house though often make entire situation worse when he is around durring an event along rest of family do similar. So I feel very alone in my concerns.

scrivette Tue 21-Nov-17 13:08:23

My 6 1/2 year old DS does every couple of days at least.

If something doesn’t go his way or he is told something he doesn’t like he throws himself to the floor and kicks and screams and shouts. I walk away and leave him. (He rarely does it when we are out).

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