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How long is a polite amount of time to respond to a text?

(12 Posts)
retainertrainer Mon 20-Nov-17 15:14:13

I'm losing patience with an incredibly flakey friend. If someone messaged you asking to meeting up in 12 days time how long would it take you to reply? (Baring in mind we're in the run up to xmas and I've written in the text that I want to make sure I leave a day free to meet up before I make other plans)

RapunzelsRealMom Mon 20-Nov-17 15:19:32

I generally reply to texts on the same day, or following day if I get it in the evening. My friends are the same. If I forget, then it’ll drop down my list and I’d never remember. Therefore I’d say within 24 hours or I’d expect not to get a reply

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Mon 20-Nov-17 15:20:31

It depends, but I almost always reply to a text within a day or two.
As for other people, well it really varies...!

retainertrainer Mon 20-Nov-17 16:32:24

Yeh everyone I know replies within a day or 2. This friend never replies straight away and I often end up chasing it up or i get a last minute reply which doesn't give me time to make other plans. It makes me feel like I'm the one who's highly strung but I just like to plan ahead and get organised. We've got busy lives (same as every other family out there) and time on the weekend is precious.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Mon 20-Nov-17 16:38:07

Do you think they might be trying to ghost you or reduce contact?

mustbemad17 Mon 20-Nov-17 16:41:30

I'll be honest, i'm that shit friend who takes an age to reply. My friends usually message me going 'did you forget again?' & i'll then go 'oh shite i forgot'

Guess it depends on how good a mate she is? Luckily my friends all know i'm crap & they accept it as me

bathghter Mon 20-Nov-17 16:44:58

i think they aren’t fussed/don’t particularly want to. i wouldn’t chase anyone, ever.

specialsubject Mon 20-Nov-17 16:47:42

Texts don't always get through. Try talking.

BulletFox Mon 20-Nov-17 16:48:29

I texted one of my old workmates a few weeks ago and she only responded the other day and said 'blimey, sorry, thought I'd received this 2 days ago! Brain going!'

I didn't mind in the slightest, she's busy and I know we'll keep in contact for life

retainertrainer Mon 20-Nov-17 17:14:22

User-very possibly. We used to be very close but I've felt an inconvenience to her for the last couple of years. Lots of ignored messages, crap excuses or forgetting our plans altogether.

I'm clinging on to the friendship because I'm a bit lonely where I live. I've got lots of friends but only a handful in this city and they're so hard to make as an adult. Our weekends are super busy with family stuff but I do value my adult friendships so try to set time aside for them.

Shall I just ignore it now. I'd really like to give her a piece of my mind to be honest. If she doesn't want to be friends anymore just say no to my message don't mess me around.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Mon 20-Nov-17 17:27:21

I completely understand OP, I could have written your reply about a “friend” of mine.
It’s tempting to say exactly how you feel, but I doubt it would improve the situation. Also, if the friend turns round and says they don’t like you anymore or similar, how will you feel?
Can you give them a ring? Just keep it light and casual, and see if they mention the outing.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t chase them for a reply. If they want to reply and come out they will.
Either they are forgetful/flaky or they aren’t interested in the friendship.
Are there at local groups or clubs you can join to make new friends?

retainertrainer Mon 20-Nov-17 17:42:22

I think I'll just wait and see if she even bothers to reply but I won't keep that date free for her. I do think I need to just let the friendship go,she's just incredibly flakey and I'm not like that. I like to make plans and get excited for things. Time to move on I think. My life is full she just used to be a great friend and I miss that but I don't think I should put up with this crap.

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