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Teachers gossiping about parents

(89 Posts)
rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:09:08

Just that really. How much do teachers gossip about parents? I get the vibe that I am the subject of gossip amongst some teacher at my dc's primary school. I know why, I know the topic because I was involved in it. Basically a male teacher began flirting with me, I flirted back. But very discreetly. Until one day he bounded over to me, and said "Hi' with his face so close to mine he could have kissed me. He's very tall and had to stoop. Since then all the male teachers watch me and him in the playground. I'm not bothered about all of that.
But lately I get the feeling they're rating me. The all peer at me closely, or as closely as they can, look me up and down, etc. I think they're trying to figure out with flirty teacher likes about me.
Today I had to talk to my dc's teacher after school, and he was looking closely at my face as though examining me. Was quite un-nerving. I felt as though I was being found fault with.
While I know this is how men (and women) behave, I do expect slightly better from a teacher. I go there every day, have to see these teachers and speak to my dc's form teacher.
How long is this likely to go on?
Until the end of term?

MaisyPops Fri 17-Nov-17 18:19:48

Discuss as in i need to speak to soandso... oh right yes, soandso is lovely and supportive/utterly unsupportive and thinks their child is the new messiah/can be overly anxious about progress even though their child is delightful. If you're talking about X then jist be aware of this pastoral situation / I found the best way to resolve conversations with soandso is to...' or well that meeting was a giant waste of time. Soandso has done their usual and kicked off. Did you know I'm crap at my job? And so is Head of Year. Apparently we are horrfying individuals according to soandso then quite a lot.

If it's taking an interest beyond professional matters, honestly next to never in my experienve.

I've never seen or heard a colleague flirt with a parent if I'm honest. I've known many be friendly. If you've been flirting with the teacher then that may well have been a topic in the conversation but more what the hell do I do? Am I missing something or is soandso trying it on? and thrn they've kept and eye.
I can't see any of my colleagues rating thr attractiveness of parents tbh.

ourkidmolly Fri 17-Nov-17 18:26:28

You’re probably imagining this. Sometimes teachers talk about parents, ones who are perceived to be difficult or ones who are especially nice.

Curioushorse Fri 17-Nov-17 18:26:34

Honestly can't see this happening. There isn't time!

Yes, I imagine that a teacher could be attracted to a parent (though I've never come across this in the 6 schools I've worked in), but it's a bit funny, because it would feel like overstepping a professional boundary. We DO talk about parents- but we talk about biscuits more. And we don't really get very much time to talk.

I've not come across a school where they'd a) Think it appropriate to 'rate' the parents (because that would be very, very unprofessional) or b) Have time to do it (because you'd have had to create a whole culture when this was ok first).

Seriously, do they not have photocopying nightmares or lesson planning?

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:31:23

There are a group of Asian male teachers that are doing this, and I'm Indian, so they already have a habit of doing this in general to Indian women. I do think that is part of it, because Asian men always behave like towards Indian women, as though they have rights over us, it's a very patriarchal culture. I can tell they're doing it, they're not subtle about it at all. Definitely not imagining it.
I did not come on to the teacher, but yes I did respond to the flirting, but in an organic way, not planned or anything. I'm generally quite flirty anyway.

Wolfiefan Fri 17-Nov-17 18:34:52

"Asian men always behave like towards Indian women"

Appuskidu Fri 17-Nov-17 18:36:37

But lately I get the feeling they're rating me.

I think you’re overthinking this.

DonkeyOaty Fri 17-Nov-17 18:37:16

I don't know what to do with "I'm flirty anyway". Outside of my experience.

Awks sitch huh.

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:38:14

It's been my experience. Asian men have a general patriarchal attitude towards Asian women.

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:39:39

Maybe I am overthinking it, but I suppose I know too much about how Asian men behave towards Asian women, seen it too many times

Wolfiefan Fri 17-Nov-17 18:39:44

Stop generalising. Hugely racist and sexist.
Don't flirt with the teachers? hmm

Rollergirl11 Fri 17-Nov-17 18:40:39

Is this for real??

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:40:52

Haha, how can it be racist? Did you miss the bit where I tell you I'm Indian [hmmm]

Fffion Fri 17-Nov-17 18:41:28

I think you might be a legend in your own mind.

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:41:53

If someone flirts with me, I do sometimes flirt back. Sorry not a nun.

AmysTiara Fri 17-Nov-17 18:42:06

Are you the only Indian parent at the school?

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:42:35

Yeah, that's me a legend
This has all been so useful, thank you for your posts, carry on...

Mumof41987 Fri 17-Nov-17 18:42:45

They definitely do discuss parents . My best mate is a teacher and she says they always slag off the parents amongst each other

Rollergirl11 Fri 17-Nov-17 18:42:58

Why on earth would you flirt with a teacher at your child’s school? It is inappropriate and deeply embarrassing for your child.

Wolfiefan Fri 17-Nov-17 18:43:10

All Asian men.
Racist and stupid.

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:43:48

I'm the only single one who lives her life as she chooses, the others are controlled by their own culture. What is your point?

Sittinonthefloor Fri 17-Nov-17 18:45:17

Of course teachers talk about parents - it often explains lots about the children!

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:46:06

Wolfie Do you think Asian men are somehow saintly creatures that don't engage in objectifying women? I'm Indian and I know what they're like. You may not like it, but it is true. Asian men look at and rate Asian women, they act as though they have some sort of Lordship over us

Mumof41987 Fri 17-Nov-17 18:47:08

Op your making a massive deal out of this ? Why did u even need to say what race you were ? U could have just said u flirted with a teacher ! Your coming across quite aggressive

rightknockered Fri 17-Nov-17 18:47:39

I can't keep answering all the questioning and criticising of my flirting. Yes I do it, but I'm discreet, all I do is smile and make eye contact. I'm not obvious, I don't chat and don't touch.

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