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Not married, what happens if I die?

(30 Posts)
RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:12:33

...will dp and the two dc be out on their ear?? This is my musing for the day, so if anyone has any ideas or has things in place themselves, please do share!

Me and dp aren't married but are engaged and are planning the wedding for 2019. We live together in the house I bought before we met; he isn't named on the mortgage which I just re-did for another 2 years fixed in my sole name, so I'm guessing I couldn't just "add him on" before that fixed period is up.

So if I die before he's on the mortgage and/or before we're married what happens? There's only about a quarter of the value of the house outstanding and our repayments are pennies; dp could easily take over the mortgage (we earn about the same, him slightly more). I know he wouldn't legally be next of kin, but my family would give all that was mine to him/the kids so no worries about that.

What do I need to do? A will won't stop the lender selling the house to recover their interests, so what do I need to do to mean my family could stay here? And do I need life insurance?? Two years is a long, dangerous time....

PinkHeart5914 Tue 24-Oct-17 12:16:30

Yes you should have life insurance, even a basic funeral is bloody expensive.

Add your dp to the mortgage and if you die he can then presumably stay as long as he carries on paying.

Yes a will to so you can leave the bit of the house you own to your dp & dc, please do not rely on your family just giving him everything of yours no matter how well you know people when money & grief is involved they do strange things. Also a will can be done very cheaply

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:18:55

I don't think I can add him onto the mortgage for another two years though, can I? I would have to remortgage to do that, but I've just redone the mortgage in my sole name...

Definitely need to get on the will/life insurance.

Thanks for your reply smile

MexicanBob Tue 24-Oct-17 12:20:17

You need to make a will now. Otherwise your DP is going to have to hope that your family will do the decent thing by him (and that ain't always the case).

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 24-Oct-17 12:22:34

Well as you're not married It would go to your next of kin which are your children, at least I think, anyway.
However if theyre only little they obviously couldn't run the house, so I'm not 100% sure what happens there.
Once you're married though half the house will belong to your dh, I think.
Hopefully someone more cleverer will be along soon.

Viviennemary Tue 24-Oct-17 12:22:58

In your position you should have insurance to cover the mortgage if you die. Then the house can be left to him in your will. This can happen if you're married or not. But if he dies then you will not have his earnings and your mortgage will of course still be outstanding.

I don't think he'd automatically be allowed just to take over the mortgage if the insurance didn't cover the outstanding balance and the house was solely in your name.

TwattyCatty Tue 24-Oct-17 12:23:16

You can't just add someone to a mortgage, why does this idea persist? You would need to remortgage with both of you being fully credit checked etc, he would need to satisfy income requirements etc etc.

You need a will and life insurance. You should have a policy that pays the mortgage off if you die and leaves everything to your DP or your children, whatever way you want to do it.

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:23:20

To be fair me, my ddad and my dbro have already dealt with a lot of death together (my mum, my mum's mum, both my dad's parents in succession) so I'm pretty confident I know how things would go down, but I definitely will do a will because no-one needs to hassle of sorting things out whilst grieving, and a will would make their lives easier!

Still worried about the house...

Eminybob Tue 24-Oct-17 12:23:32

You should be able to do a transfer of equity to add him on the the mortgage and deeds at any time, it doesn't matter that you're in a fixed rate.
You'll need solicitors which cost around £300 (dependent on area) and the lender may charge a fee.
The current mortgage would need to be assessed in joint names, so he would need a clean credit record.

You should also have life insurance so that the mortgage is paid off if you die, you can put it in trust with dp as beneficiary so he can use it to pay off the mortgage and stay in the house.
But you need to write a will if you want it to be passed to him if he's not on the deeds.

Viviennemary Tue 24-Oct-17 12:24:56

Then of course if the house becomes solely his if he remarried then your children could be disinherited. It's a minefield. Absolutely don't rely on the goodwill of anyone not even family when it comes to inherited money and wills.

DancingLedge Tue 24-Oct-17 12:26:30

Did you not have to take out life cover to the value of the mortgage?
If not, look into doing it now.

If you die in an accident, and DP is also injured, or is made redundant, he may not be able to cover the mortgage payments, and your DCs home is at risk.

PLEASE take financial advice before adding DP to mortgage or property deeds. It may well be the right thing to do, but,not all relationships or marriages last for ever, and you may need a deed to state and protect your bigger stake in the property.

Also, make a will. That way, you get to decide what happens after your death. Your DC need you to think about naming a guardian, in the sad event you both die in the same accident.

Boring stuff, and not entirely comfortable to be contemplating, but your DC deserve to have you sort these things.Seize the moment.

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:26:40

So there are life insurance policies which specifically pay off the mortgage rather than leaving a lump sum to someone for them to pay off the balance? That sounds like a good thing...

I will remortgage with him on when I can as he would easily satisfy the lending criteria, but in the meantime I need to sort out some insurance. I wonder why I didn't do it before?? No kids back then I guess.

Eminybob Tue 24-Oct-17 12:28:01

You don't need to remortgage, just a transfer of equity

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Tue 24-Oct-17 12:30:06

Right now, the dcs inherit. Assuming your life insurance pays off the mortgage, DP then becomes a mere lodger. If he's not named as a direct beneficiary in your will, he could be in a very uncomfortable position, depending on who the executors are. It's not beyond the bounds of probability that your children could have their house robbed from them by unscrupulous trustees.

See a solicitor pronto.

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:30:12

Dancing marriages not lasting forever is something I have already experienced, and I was damn sure not to put that jerk on the mortgage. He still went after the house though. He didn't get it, or a penny from me in fact. Thankfully!

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:31:49

Transfer of equity - noted. Time to find a solicitor! I feel very grown-up. Fingers crossed I last out the week grin

averylongtimeago Tue 24-Oct-17 12:31:52

If you die with out a will - intestate I think it is called- there are strict rules as to who gets what. It's all set out on the government website, a wick Google should find it. Your children will inherit, but not your DP if you are not married. If they are underage the state may step in and take them into care, do not just assume they will stay with your DP if he is not their father or that grandparents will be allowed to have them either.

You need legal advice and a will, as well as basic life insurance. You can name who you like in your will and set down who will be the guardians of your children.

Don't rely on your relatives doing the right thing either, ythe number of times I know of where there have been huge family squabbles after a funeral..,

Cantseethewoods Tue 24-Oct-17 12:32:41

- Get life insurance to pay off mortgage
- Leave house to your DC with a life interest to your DP to stop him disinheriting your DC.

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:33:58

Dp is their father and is on their birth certificates, so I assume that means they would definitely stay with him.

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 12:35:58

Cantsee if I leave it to the dc with a life interest for dp, doesn't that mean he can't sell it in his lifetime to upsize? He would need to sell at some point; dc2 is a baby but will be sharing with her big brother when she's out of our room so this isn't a long-term house for them.

pallisers Tue 24-Oct-17 12:40:05

just make a will. Leave the house whatever way you want. To your partner presumably.

Don't rely on your family doing the right thing - they will most likely have nothing to do with it and even if they do, all you need is one death/dementia/any of the shit life throws and things could change. Wills are there to sort out the worst case scenario, not the best. If we could rely on people doing exactly as we wanted, we wouldn't need to make them but we do.

As it stands I believe your children would inherit everything on intestacy and if they are under 18 it could make life needlessly difficult for your partner if he needed to move or release equity.

Get legal advice, make a will, get insurance. Then you can forget about it all.

Peachyking000 Tue 24-Oct-17 12:47:20

Is he the father of your DC? Either way, you need to make a will asap. I personally would get very good legal advice. Imagine if you leave the house to him and he gets married to someone else. Then he dies and the new wife gets the lot and your DC nothing. Awful to have to think about what-if scenarios, but I have heard too many horror stories

LondonHuffyPuffy Tue 24-Oct-17 12:49:23

As others have said, just make a will. DH isn't named on the deeds to our home but if anything happens to me it goes to him.

I used the wonderful Marlow Wills, as recommended on here. I can never remember the name of the poster who is the owner of Marlow Wills but just Google them. She might notice this thread and pop in.

She was amazingly efficient, drafted two complex wills very expediently and was very cost effective. Money well spent.

ginnybag Tue 24-Oct-17 12:54:08

You need life insurance, and you need a will.

I've seen what happens when the financial provider in a family dies unexpectedly without one. It's honestly chaos.

When someone dies, everything in their sole name is frozen. All their bank accounts etc. They can't be touched until the probate process is complete - which, if you die intestate, can take months to resolve. The probate for intestacy must be handled by the next of kin of the deceased - which is not your DP. He would be completely in the hands of whoever that is, with no control, no access to anything in your name and no ability to influence the outcome.

It terrifies me how many unmarried parents there are on here who don't earn and don't have joint bank accounts. If their partners die, they could, quite literally, be left with no access to any money.

Make a will, and ask - does he have enough money in the bank to cover things for a few weeks whilst everything is sorted out? If not, and you do, please also consider a joint bank account, even if it's only for that bit of money. He would still be able to access a joint account whilst everything is sorted out as that reverts immediately to him.

RatRolyPoly Tue 24-Oct-17 13:08:41

He is their father, yes, and our bank accounts are joint smile Phew, at least the joint account is done! Now looking for life insurance quotes... thanks everyone!

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