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How did you know you wanted kids

(48 Posts)
Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:45:14

There’s a similar thread on at the mo but slightly more direct q maybe... I’m really interested in why you wanted children?

I have huge hormonal urges and can be very broody, but logic outweighs this each time.

What made you want them so much? I love all of my friends’ and cousins’ children, have babysat over weekends etc, am with a fantastic OH.... but can’t think why I’d want children (I don’t mean this in a mean way!!). Maybe it’s different when you actually have them and know them to love them...

So beyond hormones, what made you want kids? (Or makes you want them in future)

Am I missing a sensitivity chip thlblush

abbsisspartacus Mon 23-Oct-17 22:47:24

I didn't I had contraceptive failure and I don't believe in using abortion as a contraceptive so I had the baby turns out she was great and I had two more after

TheLuckDragon Mon 23-Oct-17 22:48:36

I didn't really. I had one because my husband really wanted kids and I have to say it's the best thing ever. So happy I didn't miss out on being a mum

Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:49:08

Thanks for the honest answer!

I’m just confused... for so many people it seems like there’s some secret magic feeling that I’m not getting, and I’d love to know if others have more clear reasons for wanting them

(I was a “surprise” myself)

Santawontbelong Mon 23-Oct-17 22:49:23

I wanted to be a better dm than the one I had.

60sname Mon 23-Oct-17 22:49:26

We very much had a 'if you can't beat em, join em' mentality grin

Now pg with number 2...

onlychildsydrome Mon 23-Oct-17 22:50:16

What the username says ^^

I’d never really planned to have any and no real maternal urges, until a doctor told me I probably couldn’t have any due to a medical condition, my response? “I’ll bloody well show you!!” confused

ineedamoreadultieradult Mon 23-Oct-17 22:50:44

I had no broodiness or huge desire to be a mother I just knew I didn't want to not have children.

CautiouslyPessimistic Mon 23-Oct-17 22:50:44

Having been on the fence my whole life, I found out I might not be able to. It was like a switched flipped - it was unbearable to think I might not have a child. She's 8 months now and is undoubtedly the best thing I ever did.

ParkheadParadise Mon 23-Oct-17 22:50:49

Had my first at 15 ( not planned)
Never had the urge to have anymore.
Had my 2nd at 38 (more shocked than when I had my first)grin

AyeAyeFishyPie Mon 23-Oct-17 22:53:58

I didn'. Then i woke up on my 30th birthday and honesty it was like a lightswitch. I cant explain it - but suddenly it just fitted.

Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:54:23

I’m worried I’d be doing it for sort of selfish reasons (“wouldn’t it be cute to see a mini version of OH”), or in trying to live up to some ideal of I don’t know what

Maybe I’m being miserable about bringing kids into a fairly grim sort of world! Maybe my work life balance is just off or something

Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:54:47

So isn’t hormones then?

Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:54:57

...is hormones I meant...

RaindropsAndSparkles Mon 23-Oct-17 22:55:38

All I ever wanted to be from as far back as I remember, probably 3/4, was a mummy.

Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:56:52

But why? I really don’t mean to sound so direct but I want to know why! It’s killing me as feel I’d be running out of time but... why do you want to be a parent? Someone to love unconditionally?

rainbowduck Mon 23-Oct-17 22:57:55

I can only describe it as an ache in my arms and chest.

But I really love kids...

Shenanagins Mon 23-Oct-17 22:57:56

Never wanted any, didn’t particularly like children and then I met my oh and suddenly it clicked- I wanted children with him. No idea why it clicked, it just did and I’m so glad it did!

LynetteScavo Mon 23-Oct-17 22:58:11

I always knew I wanted children, but I physically ached for a baby when I met DH.

Notmyrealname85 Mon 23-Oct-17 22:59:45

Crap maybe I’m not with the right man then.

Sounds like it’s biological urges more than anything sad

nightshade Mon 23-Oct-17 23:01:00

Purely biological impulse ...no one plans to give birth to a teenager..

CurlsandCurves Mon 23-Oct-17 23:01:20

We’d been married a few months and went to a birthday party for my friends kid they were turning 2. So there I saw newborns, toddlers, preschoolers, etc from all their friends kids. And that was it, I just knew that this was a club I wanted to be part of, being a parent.

There was never any physical yearning before we started trying for kids, it was more an inherent feeling that this is what was meant for me, this is what I wanted.

Buglife Mon 23-Oct-17 23:01:37

I spent my 20's dreading the thought of a contraception failure. Had an abortion when I was 21 because I had been stupid and knew I was in no way able to bring up a child. When I was 28 in a stable relationship I started to get from terror at the idea to a kind of "yeah, I could do it if it happened". Turned 30, got married, on my honeymoon my DH and I discussed how we thought we would like to have a child and how we would probably think about trying the next year. By the end of that year I was genuinely consumed with the longing to have a child. I couldn't think about planning anything for the next year etc because all I saw in my future was getting pregnant and having a baby. I did it and now DS is 3 and off to pre school and I have no such urge to have another. I can't bring myself to get pregnant to have a sibling for him even though I suppose it's expected, because I don't feel that same feeling. It was incredibly strong and consumed me. I love being a mum, I love him so much. But I don't feel that feeling. I know it doesn't happen to everyone, but I couldn't focus on anything else in my life except how much I wanted to have a child. I have many friends now who still don't feel that way so I know it doesn't happen to everyone. I feel lucky in a way because I know I would never have done it without that crazy urge. I can't imagine myself getting pregnant without it. I liked my carefree life and drinking so much!

AcrossthePond55 Mon 23-Oct-17 23:01:41

I've wanted to be a mum since I was old enough to know what a mum was. I've been picking names for my children since I was 12. It's just always been there, that feeling. I can't explain it but it was like a piece of me (or my life) was missing until they put my first child in my arms. At that moment, I knew exactly who I was and what I'm here for.

My sons are adults now and that feeling has never changed. Don't get me wrong, life wasn't perfect, the teen years were rough, and even now DS2 is having struggles with his life. But I still look at both of them and I feel such a sense of love and gratitude for the gift of being their mum.

LittleCandle Mon 23-Oct-17 23:07:55

I always thought I would have kids when I thought about being married, but I wasn't too fussed if I didn't have any. Of course, that is easy to say since I have 2 DC and DGD is turning 2 tomorrow.

What I'm less sure of is if I am ready to be a mum... grin

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