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Something gross that’s happened to you.

(75 Posts)
QuackPorridgeBacon Sun 22-Oct-17 18:38:47

I’ll start. I went to the toilet for a wee and when I wiped there was brown, I assumed some spotting then looked closer and thought my arse was leaking. As I cleaned myself thinking I was leaking shit I look at the toilet seat, there is a bit of shit just sitting there that I sat right near. I felt sick, little one obviously hadn’t wiped properly... envy (not envy)

StealthPolarBear Sun 22-Oct-17 18:41:01

Op this is not a good idea

florapearl Sun 22-Oct-17 18:41:48

Not a nice thread thlconfused

ItsLeviosah Sun 22-Oct-17 18:41:59

The first thing that springs to mind is when I bent down to hug my friends 2 year old a goodbye.

She swooped in to give me a kiss on the lips which would be ok if she didn’t have the thickest stickiest clumpy stream of wet snot running from her nostrils into her mouth.

It was all over my lips and nose.

Wretch

QuackPorridgeBacon Sun 22-Oct-17 18:43:09

Oh, why is it not a good idea confused I felt so sick I wanted to know that someone has had it worse lol

MrsBossyPants Sun 22-Oct-17 18:47:02

When I was about 10 I went to lock the back door. It was dark, night time and it was raining outside. Just inside the back door was the cat’s food dish. I didn’t turn the room lights on. As I reached for the lock, my bare foot trod on something squidgy. Eeeewwwwwwwwww! It was a slug!!! I tell you, I washed my foot about five times but I can still, 30yrs later, feel that slug oozing between my toes. envyenvy

Boringnamechange1 Sun 22-Oct-17 18:51:44

I was at a house party when I was a teenager and was using an empty juice can as an ashtray. I got really drunk and took a big swig out of the can, spat the contents into a bucket cried a bit then drank from another can to wash my mouth out/get rid of the taste which had also been used as an ashtray 😷😷

Needadvicetoleave Sun 22-Oct-17 19:07:17

Went to the loo at a festival, it was dark, my torch had broken. Sat down on vomit on the seat.

Sparklingbrook Sun 22-Oct-17 19:09:29

Got to love a bit of an oversharing poo thread on a Sunday teatime.

BulletFox Sun 22-Oct-17 19:12:04

Actually just today I did a wash and hadn't realised the cat had pooed on a dressing gown I'd flung on the floor before it went into the machine.

So I pulled out my clothes when it was over...and a washed little cat poo

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone Sun 22-Oct-17 19:14:13

I squeezed a humongous spot on my teens face, the pus shot out and into my mouth.
It's been over so year, I still gibber when I think of it

Timmytoo Sun 22-Oct-17 19:15:05

I crushed a slug when I was a toddler crawling and then licked the mess off my fingers 🤢. I can still remember the feeling and sandy taste.

I ate a bug by mistake that was on my peach.

I watched Two Girls One Cup

didnthappeninmyday Sun 22-Oct-17 19:18:33

Not me but my ex used to lie on the sofa and put dd on his chest with her feet either side of his head, until the day she vomited all over his face, it went in his mouth, up his nose and in his eyes.

😂😂😂😂😂

Best day of my life

user1495832265 Sun 22-Oct-17 19:26:10

glitterball

WallyWantsWine Sun 22-Oct-17 20:23:32

Lovely thread 🖕🏽

Scabetty Sun 22-Oct-17 20:29:37

Covering a year 1 class as a supply teacher, child handed me a poo the size of a golf ball that he had fished from the back of his trousers. TA said it was his party piece but nobody had warned me. Duly chopped my arm off and left the countrygrin

PolaDeVeboise Sun 22-Oct-17 20:40:29

I was feeling sick at work once and decided to go out at lunchtime for some fresh air. Felt a burp coming up and simultaneously burped out a stream of vomit and farted a sea of diaorreah all over myself in the middle of the street. Lovely.

Lostflipflop Sun 22-Oct-17 20:48:36

I was on a rollercoaster recently, an indoor dark one. As we were going back into the station, something wet dropped into my mouth. No idea what it was but my DH thinks it was evaporated sweat dripping from the ceiling!
Won't be going on it again!

MyfatheristheKing Sun 22-Oct-17 20:48:47

We took a family picture the other day in a park. I have like a flexible tripod so set it up on timer and then ran over to my family and took the picture. When I went back to pick up my camera, I leaned on the low fence it was sitting on and my hand got covered in green poo 😷

I remember once I was sitting on the couch breast feeding DS1, who was a few weeks old. As he was still latched on he vomited all over me. It was everywhere, my hair, my face, my boob, it ran down into my lap too. I knew I could either laugh or cry. I surprised myself and just laughed. DH said he thought I was going to burst into tears lol

MyfatheristheKing Sun 22-Oct-17 20:49:40

Oh Pola 😂😂😂

CigarsofthePharoahs Sun 22-Oct-17 20:56:20

I've trodden on a slug whilst in socks. It's grim.
My youngest was a very sicky baby and has managed to projectile vom all over my face and in my mouth. Vile vile vile.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 22-Oct-17 21:01:28

When Ds was still breast fed (relevant) he projectile shit all over me when I was changing him, anyone who knows the consistency of bf poo will understand how traumatic it is.

Whisky2014 Sun 22-Oct-17 21:04:54

Going to pick dog poo up with a bag but the poo got caught on the handle and fell straight into my hand.

My best friend was sick on my hand

DeathByMascara Sun 22-Oct-17 21:11:23

Well, you can’t beat the holy trinity of wee, poo and spew from a newborn, in the one day.

showergel1 Sun 22-Oct-17 21:14:14

A moth flew onto my face and in my panic to get it off I managed to smear it over my face.

Great start to a day's work.

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