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The dog campaign

(31 Posts)
AuntieBulgaria Sun 22-Oct-17 14:48:15

Dd, aged 10, would very much like a dog.
I would not.

She is putting lots of effort into researching what is required, the costs involved, and thinking of ways to do jobs that could earn her money to pay for the dog.

I have been away for the weekend and have come back to a Presi presentation on the case for having a dog and leaflets about pet insurance scattered about the house.

Dh also says he doesn’t want a dog but is less direct that I am about saying no. He thinks it is laudable that she is doing all this research.

I feel like I have to be straightforward about my feelings on the matter as otherwise she will get her hopes up too much. This means she is currently not talking to me.

We have no experience in looking after dogs and I think that, no matter how much DD protests otherwise, aged 10, she would not end up being the person doing most of the dog care.

Dh and I both work full time and it is an additional responsibility that I simply do not want to take.

Has anyone else remained resolute in the face of a sustained pet campaign?

How do you balance not wanting to completely squash your child’s enthusiasm and effort in approaching something in a pretty mature fashion (the research and the planning) with the fact that I don’t want a flipping dog.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 22-Oct-17 14:50:25

The two adults both work full time. A dog just isn't possible.

Adarajames Sun 22-Oct-17 14:58:18

Could you fit in volunteering for charity Cinnamon Trust and walk a dog with your daughter for someone elderly / disabled who would otherwise have to give up their dog? Few cold, wet, dark walks may make her more aware of the realities and realise that it's not all as warm and cuddly a small she might think, whilst also helping someone else to keep their dog and fulfilling your daughters need for canine company?

Grimmfebruary Sun 22-Oct-17 15:00:00

Local shelters often need dog walkers, check them out?

My mum just got my 17 year old brother a dog and he's done nothing whatsoever to look after it. My mum and sister are going crazy.

Saucery Sun 22-Oct-17 15:00:52

You work full time. It doesn't need to come down to "we don't want a dog". She can sulk all she likes, but it ain't happening.

Floralnomad Sun 22-Oct-17 15:03:48

You both work , she is at school the only way you could get a dog ( not a puppy) is to have multiple walkers or dog day care which could cost you a lot for 5 days a week . It's hard luck , have you other pets ?

Lauratwelve Sun 22-Oct-17 15:04:17

If you work full time you cannot get a dog. It's cruel to leave a dog on its own all day. They are pack animals and get very stressed on thier own!

roundtable Sun 22-Oct-17 15:04:24

I was going to suggest a shelter. Would be great for her and dh to go and do together if they both have a love of dogs.

You're right not to cave in to pressure. It's a lot of work and worry. I've ended up doing the majority of the dog care as I anticipated. Luckily, I only said yes when I felt I was ready to take that on. There's still times when I can be heard chuntering about the imbalance of care and how I can't just get out and do something for the day.

AuntieBulgaria Sun 22-Oct-17 15:18:21

I think the volunteering suggestion is a good one - to give her more of a reality check but also to give her some dog action. The Cinnamon Trust doesn’t have anyone in need close by but we will investigate other shelters. Dh had dogs in the family and would be prepared to go with her.

I agree that it would not be fair to keep a dog on its own all day, but she has friends who have dogs and parents who work, so she feels it must be possible. I agree that this is a better argument based on logic than just my gut reaction though.

We had rats as pets for a while and I did most of the looking after. We have a small tortoise now, which she does do the basic routine for.

Floralnomad Sun 22-Oct-17 15:23:09

How about a house cat , most shelters will have FIV positive cats that need to stay indoors or in an enclosed garden .

BabsGangoolies Sun 22-Oct-17 15:27:55

I agree, you can not have a dog if you work full time, unless you pay someone to come in everyday to walk it.

We have a 6 year old dog and the pet insurance has gone up to £170 a year.

She's just had her annual vaccinations which came to £56, and thats without the worming and flea treatment, which is another £20 and needs doing several times a year.

Professional grooming 4 times a year - £150.

Then theres daily walking and feeding, and picking up doggy poo from the garden. Its unpleasant when they have a running bottom and need their bottoms washing.

A dog is a family responsibility.

Wolfiefan Sun 22-Oct-17 15:30:01

Never buy a pet for a child that you're not prepared to take full responsibility for.
A dog can't be left all day. So even if you wanted one you'd be looking at dog daycare or a dog walker.
Cinnamon Trust or shelter dog walking is a great idea.

RealWomanOhYes Sun 22-Oct-17 15:30:52

Working ft doesn't necessarily put the total brakes on, what does in this case is the fact you don't want one.

How about a ferret? Great petsand quite dog like and don't need much maintenance. That's if you're not dead against any sort of pet.

horriblehistorieswench Sun 22-Oct-17 15:33:45

As well as CinnamonTryst there's Borrowmydoggy that matches people who need some extra care for their dog with people who can provide it

AuntieBulgaria Sun 22-Oct-17 15:50:58

Dd in tears.

I am not going to change my mind about having a dog. For both the practical and the emotional reasons above.

I still feel shit for causing her to feel so sad though. sad

Will try with the shelter idea and look at borrow my dog website.

SavoyCabbage Sun 22-Oct-17 15:53:43

Get her to walk for half an hour (or longer if she knows how long the dog she wants needs) every morning and every night before and after school for a month. In the rain and dark. Before gymnastics. After Lucy’s birthday party. Every day twice a day.

SavoyCabbage Sun 22-Oct-17 15:54:44

Sorry, cross posted with you there. flowersPoor dd.

picklemepopcorn Sun 22-Oct-17 16:00:59

There is nothing rational about wanting a dog, so no amount of argument will work. All you can do is explain that you cannot have a dog because of Work, and actually you do not want a dog. Then help her get as much doggy time as possible.

Wolfiefan Sun 22-Oct-17 16:03:44

Do any friends have dogs she could spend time with?

monkeywithacowface Sun 22-Oct-17 16:04:57

My kids were desperate for a dog, so was I to be honest and now I finally have my puppy. The kids cried actual tears when I told them we were going to look at the pup they were so beside themselves with happiness.

They were all over him for two weeks and now eldest has zero interest and youngest likes to come on dog walks because he loves seeing other people's dog hmm

Seriously the only time to get a dog is when YOU want one and even then I can promise you there is not enough research in the world that prepares you for the all consuming emotional drain of having a puppy!

I have sobbed over this dog, I have been beyond tired and have had some stonking arguments with DH over the dog. DDog has been with us 3 months now and it has only been very recently that I have stopped regretting the decision to get him and can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh and the cost? Seriously being a responsible dog owner costs a bomb it really does.

QueenofLouisiana Sun 22-Oct-17 16:12:40

I really feel for your DD- I also really want a dog and can’t have one- because we also work full time and can’t give it the attention it deserves. You are totally doing the right thing.

I have signed up to borrow my dog and hope to find a doggie chum for weekends and school holiday cuddles. I hadn’t thought of the Cinnamon Trust so I’m going to look at that too.

flowers OP it’s hard to see children upset- even when you’re right.

Wolfiefan Sun 22-Oct-17 16:19:31

Monkey. That's so what I found. I was desperate for a dog. Got just what I wanted. Tears and sleep deprivation and everything chewed. Relentless and expensive. She's a year now and I love her to bits but it is hard bloody work.
Queen The cinnamon trust is awesome. They don't put all the cases that need help on the website so do register even if there doesn't look like a dog needs walks in your area.

x2boys Sun 22-Oct-17 16:54:09

We have a seven month old puppy my son aged 10 promised he would take her out regularly for walks before we got her he rarely does , I don't work in my ds2 carer (he's disabled) the dog is very much y responsibility which is fine but I can only do this because I don't work ,dogs are very sociable they don't like being left my puppy is lovely but hard work.

x2boys Sun 22-Oct-17 16:56:30

Yep totally agree monkey.

x2boys Sun 22-Oct-17 17:01:42

Oh and they chew everything in sight internet/ phone wires ,school shoes, coats etc.

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