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Worse thing someone has cooked you

(158 Posts)
Rudedog Sun 22-Oct-17 10:03:49

I think there was a thread recently about worse meals out.... and someone's thread about curry and cheesy chips.

Anyway I was eating a baked potato yesterday and it reminded me of the time MIL made me one.

When you cut into it, it was sloppy and runny and had raw hard bits in it, no idea how she managed to do that at all.

She served it with tuna which she has pummelled into slop.

I had to eat it confused I didn't eat a baked potato for years afterwards.....

What's yours?

averylongtimeago Sun 22-Oct-17 10:07:53

I have two.
Leeks vinaigrette- large cold slimy leeks (still slightly gritty inside) soaked in a very sharp sauce.

Vegan butter bean bake. Absolutely vile, the taste, the texture, the smell. And it gave me so much wind I was almost jet propelled the next day.

insancerre Sun 22-Oct-17 10:07:55

In France as an 11 year old on a school trip we had some sort of meat that had hairs sticking up out of it
I have no idea what it was, someone said it was tongue, so nobody ate it
It looked terrifying

Incitatus Sun 22-Oct-17 10:17:27

I went to a friend’s flat one and was given a Vesta curry which was pretty grim. It wasn’t improved any by the filthy surroundings and dog poo on the kitchen floor.

ByTheNine Sun 22-Oct-17 10:27:49

At a dinner party with my then boyfriend's best mates I was given a caper and olive lasagne. It was revolting but they were all quite a bit older than me and rather sophisticated so I tried my best to fit in and eat it. Never again though.

WhatHaveIFound Sun 22-Oct-17 10:29:46

Any meal that my mother makes!

Unfortunately i can't get out of sunday dinner today so will have dried up meat and sloppy vegetable to contend with sad

kernowgal Sun 22-Oct-17 10:30:10

It should have been lovely, but a friend cooked a veggie lasagne and after one bite I couldn't eat any more - it was incredibly spicy. I asked him what peppers he'd used and he showed me scotch bonnets rather than bell peppers.

Such a shame as it was otherwise really tasty!

IJustLostTheGame Sun 22-Oct-17 10:34:01

Roast beef heart.
Literally, cow hearts had been tied up with string and put in the oven. It looked like the start of a horror film.
I didn't care how rude I looked I flatly refused to eat it. I was told haughtily I'd get nothing else. No problem. The veg was an over boiled slimy mess.
I was a teen at the time and my parents were furious.
They had to be polite and eat it grin.

muminthecity Sun 22-Oct-17 10:35:37

When I was a child I went to a friend's house for dinner. Her mum served fishfingers and mash covered in Bisto gravy confused. The fishfingers were all wet and sloppy and tasted of beef. It was grim.

BriechonCheese Sun 22-Oct-17 10:36:32

"Mediterranean corned beef hash." hmm

I can't.

PurpleDaisies Sun 22-Oct-17 10:39:33

I was given roast chicken...after I stopped eating meat. When I reminded them that I'd gone vegetarian (they definitely knew this) they said they didn't think chicken counted. All I was left with that didn't have meat in it was boiled carrots and broccoli.

MonkeyJumping Sun 22-Oct-17 10:40:02

Chickpea curry made by boiling chickpeas in lilt do it would taste fruity, then stirring in some coconut milk and tinned new potatoes.

LoniceraJaponica Sun 22-Oct-17 10:40:06

When I was a student my best friend was a Chinese girl from Hong Kong. We often used to invite each other round for meals, and I would give her traditionally British food (which she loved as it was ethnic food in her case), and she would make traditional Chinese home cooked meals.

Once she served something up and said "taste it before I tell you what it is". We tried it and really didn't like the taste or the texture. It was tripe!

HarrietKettleWasHere Sun 22-Oct-17 10:40:22

Anything my mum cooks.

'Risotto'- made with normal rice but drowning in water. Stirs in tomato purée, plastic cheese, chopped up ham.

I told her that is NOT risotto and offered to make it properly once but apparently I'm a snob with ideas above my station hmm

MuchasSmoochas Sun 22-Oct-17 10:43:10

Both made by me! blush one was creme brûlée which tasted like scrambled eggs and DH said "this would be lovely with bacon" grin
And I once made a New Orleans dish with lime in it that is fondly remembered as Mr Muscle Chicken.

LadyPenelope68 Sun 22-Oct-17 10:44:06

Any meal cooked by my mother in law! She cooks all the potatoes and veg at the same time in a pressure cooker and always includes celery in it. Result is soggy, mushy veg that all taste of celery. Served with cheap, fatty, rubbery meat served with gravy (which is just hot water and Bovril!).

CoffeeBreakIn5 Sun 22-Oct-17 10:45:00

At school I was really quiet and faded into the background. I wasn’t really clever and I wasn’t disruptive - the 2 things that got people noticed. I got really fed up of my food tech teacher ignoring me and decided to test her (not smart, I know). We had to design a meal and then the staff in the food tech dept would try it and grade it. I designed the weirdest, non meal I could think of which was the following:
White sauce
Chocolate buttons
Cheese on top

She signed off each part of my planning, supposedly assisted with the practice run. She even wrote comments on my lesson notes to the effect of ‘great!’ ‘Well done!’ Etc.

I dished it up, the other staff were massively scathing and perplexed as to why it’d got that far in the first place and she was mortified. She even went through my file whilst accusing me of changing my recipe but it was all there, clear as day and signed off by her. I think I made my point.

SilverySurfer Sun 22-Oct-17 10:47:36

Many years ago - a new boyfriend offered to cook dinner and served up a whole boiled cabbage sprinkled with paprika as the main course. Very rapidly became ex-boyfriend.

CaoNiMwahaha Sun 22-Oct-17 10:50:35

I've talked about this on here before, but it has to be "oil soup" in China. A dear friend's wife prepared it for me, and I really had no choice but to eat it and look as if I was loving it. It was hard bits of burnt rice hewn from the bottom of the pan, arranged alongside pickled peanuts and century eggs (google these if you aren't familiar, and prepare to boak) in a bowl of actual oil.

Another contender was "baby octopus baguette" at a friend's house in Spain. She literally hollowed out a baguette from the sharp end, and poked about 10 miniature baby octopuses into it.

I've just realised these examples might make me sound xenophobic! I'm not, honestly. I've eaten lovely food in other countries.

bigfatbumfreak Sun 22-Oct-17 10:50:35

Rabbit pie, without telling me it was rabbit.

Im not vegetarian, but i would not eat rabbit. It was grim.

LoniceraJaponica Sun 22-Oct-17 10:54:56

“And I once made a New Orleans dish with lime in it that is fondly remembered as Mr Muscle Chicken.”

I find anything made with preserved lemons tastes like it has kitchen cleaner in it.

LadyWire Sun 22-Oct-17 10:57:26

Ex BF after a night out once said he was making poached eggs on toast, found he had no eggs so served me a whole boiled onion on toast...

firsttimemummy24 Sun 22-Oct-17 10:58:29

The first time I met my SIL she made her favourite dish of sweet and sour pork.... sounded lovely but in reality it’s a tin of tomatoes mixed with orange juice and a little soy sauce then ‘cooked’ in the microwave. The pork is cooked in a pan then added to the sauce and put in the microwave again. The pork was chewy and hard and tasted funny and the sauce was weird. I ate it all to be polite but i haven’t eaten pork since.

ClashCityRocker Sun 22-Oct-17 11:01:07

When dh and I were dating, he asked me what my favourite Chinese meal was.

I said sweet and sour chicken in batter.

'oh no problem, I can make that easily'.

Turned out to be bird's-eye crispy chicken dippers in uncle Ben's sweet and sour. With added chilli. A lot of added chilli.

maddiemookins16mum Sun 22-Oct-17 11:03:50

My brothers spag bol.
Cheap nasty mince boiled in water, with some ketchup added to the liquid, some dried packet onions and, oh God I can barely bring myself to say this......a packet of salted peanuts added.
Even thinking about it now makes me feel slightly heavish.

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