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How do you and DP/DH agree time to yourselves at the weekend?(9 Posts)
Just that, really. If you have DC, how do you manage it? And how do you balance it with time together as a family, and as a couple?
DP and I have just had a bust up over it because I desperately needed an hour to myself and she thought a family trip to the paint shop would be a lovely way to spend the afternoon.
We try and make sure time is divided fairly... it's a bit different right now because we have a new baby, but usually I work every other Saturday, so DH gets up with DS and they go out for the morning whilst I get the bus to work (or they drop me off). When I get home at 2pm ish, I usually take DS off DH's hands so he can chill for a bit (DS is harder than my morning at work ), then at 5pm I make a start on tea, we eat, and I tidy round whilst DH does bath time, story and bed.
Sundays we usually have a family day, one of us gets up with DS whilst the other has a lie in. If one of us have jobs that need doing, the other steps in. If I've got up with DS I'll usually have an afternoon snooze. On weekends where I don't work, then we get a lie in each.
Once a month I take DS to my parents house for a long weekend and DH stays at home to recharge. He returns the favour by making an overnight trip to his mums every now and again.
I think we have a pretty good balance generally...
Family trip to the paint shop is not much fun, but then a solo trip to the paint shop with a child could be a disaster The best way would be to go solo without kids!
He goes on a bike ride sometimes on a Saturday morning, early on. He takes DS and DD for a walk to the beach while I have a couple of hours to myself. Every so often he and DS go to PIL for a weekend and I stay at home with DD (baby). I have taken DD and DS to PIL for a couple of days mid-week and DH gets a bit if 'me' time.
Mainly weekends are family time. Best bit is if we get some 'us' time. SIL is babysitting tonight and we are going out for a meal and will walk home along the seafront in the dark- it's lovely just having that walk in the dark, holding hands and talking. Best bit.
A lie in each. If we have no real plans then one parent takes the kids out til about noon. Once back we all have lunch together then do something as a family from about 1 til bedtime at seven.
If we plan a full day out somewhere then the second day of the weekend one has a lie in til maybe 11, we all have lunch at noon then the early up parent gets maybe three hours after lunch to
sleep themselves while the other takes the dc out for a swim or walk etc.
A lie in each. Time to go for a run/ do sports each. If we're just hanging about locally or in the house one of us might go off for a bath or a lie down if we're really knackered.
Thanks all very much, that's really helpful. I think DP would think some of these suggestions cut way too much into our time together as a family, whereas I'd be ok with it. But we have very different 'needs' on that score generally, and we're approaching it from very different perspectives at the moment. I'm on leave at home with our baby DD and she's at work full time and feels like she's really missing out. (We're both women, if that matters). So she's very very very protective of our time together (all three of us - hence the paint shop!) , whereas I'm slightly crying out for some silence and time with no one touching me.
I have the sane issue.
I am on maternity leave with DD and we have a toddler DS. DH works full time and only sees the children for up to an hour a day during the week.
At the weekend he wants us to do everything together even if it's something not particular interesting/ fun for DS. He refuses to have a lay in amd gets up with DS (which I know I should be grateful for) but then he gets moody with me if I lay in past 8am (baby permitting!) as "we should all have breakfast together".
I find I have to sneak little bits of me time in - he is happy for me to go to the gym as he is a health and fitness nut but I will sometimes stay for a coffee in the cafe or I will get my hair cut. I find he never says no to me doing something but he gets all sad and grumpy if I do (he denies doing this and he is a lovely man - I think he does it unconsciously and doesn't say anything as he doesn't want to make me feel bad. Either that or he is a passive agressive knob).
I also feel bad as he never takes any time just for himself really. He will go to the gym once the kids are asleep and he rarely sees his friends. He always puts us first and so I feel selfish for wanting to do things just for me.
However, after a week of constantly dealing with the kids I need a break. Even housework is a break to me but, no, we got a cleaner so "it doesn't eat into family time" (I am not complaining about having a cleaner btw!).
Even now having two he doesn't want to divide and conquer - eg. we all go to the park and I sit on a bench feeding DD while DH and DS run around. Not exactly fun for me and increasingly cold but it's "family time"
sorry, this turned into a bit of a rant
Op I remember that felling lol
Basically you have no time without family and need a break, she doesn’t get enough and is trying to get more.
Does she get any 1-2-1 time with the baby? Bill it as special mummy time, bonding, you not taking over everything kind of a thing?
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