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Suggestions for a part time working dad - how to fill the day?

(52 Posts)
Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:03:21

exactly that.
dh works exceedingly part time, he doesnt take too kindly to my suggestion of hoovering
however what can i suggest he fill his day with?
should i just ignore the issue and hope he figures it out for himself
should i give him a list of chores - not sure if that is good advice, i am not his boss.
but there is more to life than a clean house.
youngest dd is 17

Bruceishavingfish Fri 20-Oct-17 06:07:28

Why does he only work part time?

Personally i would just tell him that since he works part time and i work full time, he needs to take more of the house work. Unless he is part time through ill health/disability and cant do it.

He can be as unhappy as he wants. If he doesnt like it, then he can find full time work.

Its not up to you to fill his day. Its upto him to be fair on you.

I take it you work full time?

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:08:46

his hours arent the issue

AdalindSchade Fri 20-Oct-17 06:09:19

What the actual fuck?
A) he's an adult, he can fill his own time
B) he could work full time if he's bored
C) housework still needs doing

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:10:52

there is believe it or not more to life and work

how to fill the day was the question

Sensimilla Fri 20-Oct-17 06:11:10

Is he bored?

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:12:07

yup he is bored and hasnt taken too kindly to my suggestions so far -

Sensimilla Fri 20-Oct-17 06:13:26

There is more to life than work, you are correct. It is unusual though, that you are trying to suggest, how he 'fill his day'.

What is the issue? Is he bored? Do you want him to do more housework? Something else?

Bruceishavingfish Fri 20-Oct-17 06:14:17

Well his hours could be the issue. Because if he works part time through ill health, or caring duties (for example) suggestions would be different.

You dont mind him being part time. You dont mind him not doing housework as there is more to life.

Then tell him there is more to life and go have fun. Surely he can figure that out in his own?

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:14:37

suggestions for what else to do,
free hobbies

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:15:01

he is retired virtually

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:15:40

i worry about his mental health through lack of something else to do

rizlett Fri 20-Oct-17 06:18:27

hasnt taken too kindly to my suggestions so far

Keep out of it - he's responsible for his own boredom - or not.

jellybeanlover Fri 20-Oct-17 06:18:54

Morning Slarty, yes lots more to life than works and chores! Some ideas are Open Uni course, volunteering, sport or maybe a hobby. Just get searching on the internet, it is easier to find what interests yourself than other people, but one idea tends to lead to another. Good luck.

Sofabitch Fri 20-Oct-17 06:19:58

Is there a local maker space or mens shed?

Can he take up a craft activity? Learn a new skill? Take an interesting cooking class? Go to night school to learn something interesting. Take up a sport?

HidingBehindTheWallpaper Fri 20-Oct-17 06:20:13

He’s a grown arse man. Let him work out what to do with his time.

However, if you work full time then he should be doing things to run the house.

Mxyzptlk Fri 20-Oct-17 06:20:39

Try U3A, if there's a branch near you. www.u3a.org.uk

Maybe ask on Gransnet. www.gransnet.com

Sensimilla Fri 20-Oct-17 06:20:59

What does he like doing?

Most people I know have got a list as long as your arm, of stuff they would do if they had more time.

My list;
Extra long dog walks
More yoga
Swimming
Crotcheting and knitting
Book reading
Learn a language
Cleaning and decorating
Sleeping
Volunteer for local homeless charity
Sleeping
Binge watching Netflix series
Meeting friends for coffee and cake
Cooking/baking
Horse riding
Kayaking

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:22:55

thanks so much for all the suggestions
really helpful

MidLifeCrisis2017 Fri 20-Oct-17 06:23:22

Look for local Meetup groups. I joined a great walking one.

So sad that people are objecting to a man working part time and his wife caring about his mental health...

TanteRose Fri 20-Oct-17 06:25:19

what are your hours, Slarty ?

I work full time, and am out of the house from 9am until 7pm most days. DH works for himself essentially, with very flexible working hours. He takes his time leaving the house in the mornings and so he hangs out the laundry (that I sorted and stuck in the machine), hoovers and clears away breakfast etc.

Our kids are at home but are adults (18 and 19) - they of course do their own breakfast and washing.

if your DH is at home more than you, then more of the housework will naturally fall to him, no?

can he do some volunteer work?

Mxyzptlk Fri 20-Oct-17 06:27:09

Maybe phrase a request as "If you've time, it would be really helpful if you could do X."
X being one small thing eg hang up the laundry when the machine has finished.

Of course you shouldn't have to think about phrasing it specially nicely but if it's a way to get a result ....

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:27:47

yes I should work on my phrasing, ask him nicely.

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Oct-17 06:30:40

He has a free bus pass, we have a dog , we have netflix - so that is something.

Mxyzptlk Fri 20-Oct-17 06:32:13

How interested is he in finding himself things to do?

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