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Tell me about the dream you had to give up (serious or lighthearted)

(35 Posts)
Missionocrity Wed 18-Oct-17 12:04:50

At the ripe old age of 34 I've finally realised I'll have to give up my dream of becoming a doctor.

Glandular fever 6 weeks before my A-levels, 2 kids and severe depressive episodes mean the odds are stacked against me (tbh I'd probably not cope with the stress of the course but I've worked in an allied health role for many years so used to the pressure from work).

Feeling a bit sad and pathetic today, come tell me about the dreams you've had to give up!

Disclaimer: my other childhood dream was to be Meatloaf (the singer, not the food, which I have even less chance of achieving!)

user1471459936 Wed 18-Oct-17 12:06:20

Can you do something else in the medical community? What do you currently do?

My dream was to be a professional athlete.

MissionItsPossible Wed 18-Oct-17 13:01:54

Winning the lottery. It's not my fault though, they just keep picking the wrong winning numbers.

Seriously, I wanted to be a writer, but I haven't given up that dream.

Morphene Wed 18-Oct-17 13:15:47

having four children. Turned out I was shit at being pregnant, giving birth and generally at parenting...

so...just 1 kid after all.

MissWilmottsGhost Wed 18-Oct-17 13:22:48

Having lots of children.

After 14 years ttc and 10+ mcs I feel very fortunate to just have the one.

bigfatbumfreak Wed 18-Oct-17 13:46:46

Gave up having dreams and am much happier now.

Cantseethewoods Wed 18-Oct-17 13:50:12

I'm probably not going to make the Olympics now. Not unless they introduce a pensioner category - better keep training so that when they do I'll be prepared

revolution909 Wed 18-Oct-17 13:54:26

Being an astrophysicist (I can only blame myself on this one!).. I wish that I had discovered that i had real athletic talent in my teenage years, I'm sure I could have probably been an elite athlete !

CJCreggsGoldfish Wed 18-Oct-17 14:01:12

A PhD. After my MSc I had a job at a great uni as a research assistant, everything was stacked in my favour apart from my mental health.

Looking back I think I'd been depressed since about 15 but managed to keep it private and get through the day. The wheels came off whilst working though. I finally sort help (counselling and anti D's) and got myself straight but the only way I felt I could do this was to focus on myself and not an academic career.

Once I was all sorted I felt I had been out of the discipline for too long - in hindsight I don't think I had been, but my confidence had taken a massive knock, plus in the mists of depression I did make a bit of a fool of myself and embarrassment meant I never asked old friends for help.

I am happy now though, so I try not to dwell on it too much. My only regret is that I've only ever had jobs and never a 'career'.

ButtMuncher Wed 18-Oct-17 14:11:24

Same - dreamt of being a doctor throughout childhood. Had severe eating disorder and depression in my early teens, bombed school and became a recluse into my 20s and couldn't stick at anything through lack of confidence until the rule old age of 29 sad

I still wistfully look at doctors and wonder what if! I'm 33 in January and will never do it mainly because a) not smart enough and b) too afraid of germs (ironically, thanks anxiety!) grin

Missionocrity Wed 18-Oct-17 14:50:30

User1471 I am a nurse now so I did something similar (it's just not quite the same!)

They say everyone has a novel in them so maybe there's hope yet Mission

Your story bought a tear to my eye MissWilmotts, how old is your dc?

Lots of athletic people on this thread- what would your sport if choice be? I'm still training for when they make binge eating biscuits a national sport!

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered Wed 18-Oct-17 14:52:06

Gave up on being an astronaut when I realised I hated science teacher!

lostpurplehoodie Wed 18-Oct-17 14:55:00

Having any semblance of a career. My mental health is atrocious and I can’t even work at the moment (and haven’t now in 8 years, a sobering realisation) and if I ever get well enough to work it’ll be something low pressure and casual. A far cry from the high-flying path I was supposed to take.

XJerseyGirlX Wed 18-Oct-17 14:57:54

Morphene .. same here :-( Crap at being pregnant too and so just have the 1. She is awesome though :-)

tehmina23 Wed 18-Oct-17 14:59:36

Working as a Staff Nurse - I successfully managed it for 8 years but then became very ill with psychosis & other MH problems & just couldn't cope with the job anymore.

I'm now an HCA but I feel very bitter when I see SNs who aren't as conscientious as I was.
Or Student Nurses that aren't as caring or bright as I was.

The NMC have said I can go back to Nursing if I get over my MH problems & do a return to practice course but I don't feel I'll ever be well enough & get too stressed just working as an HCA....

tehmina23 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:02:39

I also wanted badly to have a child but at 41, with the MH problems, on lots of meds and no partner it looks like just a dream...

However I'm having an appointment with a Perinatal Psychiatrist soon just to see.., and I'm starting online dating.. so you never know!

revolution909 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:21:07

I think I could definitely have been an elite runner. My PE actually did see something in me but I was overweight and did look athletic at all (or so I thought) but own that I know my body better I know it just wanted to be an athlete's body :/

GallicosCats Wed 18-Oct-17 15:41:40

Being a writer. I realised that although I was pretty good with words, my story-telling and ability to sustain plot and character was distinctly ropey. I am also rubbish at concentrating for the 50,000 words or so needed for a full length book. And that's before you get to the lottery that is getting published. I am nothing like resilient enough for repeated rejections on that scale.

I once had notions of working in publishing. That was before I realised that they employed a lot of well connected 'gels' with rich parents and independent incomes, and this was why they paid trustafarian pocket money. (This was the 1980s).

Oh, and I had the weird fantasies about winning Wimbledon even though I can't hit or catch anything. confused I knew those were daft so I didn't so much give up those dreams as let them naturally fade.

GallicosCats Wed 18-Oct-17 15:48:35

Cantsee...perhaps you should look into older age competitive sport. smile I distinctly remember a news item on a 90 year old lady who won the over 85 category in the high jump in some pensioner games event. Not quite the Olympics but I'm sure there are over [insert real age here] categories in loads of sports.

GallicosCats Wed 18-Oct-17 15:48:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FGSholdthedoor Wed 18-Oct-17 15:51:05

I had the potential to really excel at long distance running (under 10000m ) but I was always terrified of that "I'm about to collapse" feeling just before your backup kicks in and you set your pace and never had anyone to push me in my training.
Also long jump....sounds silly but quite a few times I came in rankings at national school competitions just after the students that were training up to the Olympic squads and have been at it for years - I never trained for it, my school was crap, when it came to the competitions they would have all girls to a couple of jumps each and just go "X did best so she'll do this at the comp" .

Ohwell14 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:57:37

I dreamed of being able to become a stay at home mum, envisioned baking, going for walks, teaching my daughter things. 4 weeks into maternity leave and already struggling with bills so there will be no chance of giving up work grin
Still holding out on the lottery winning dream, haven't given up hope yet

Frequency Wed 18-Oct-17 15:58:12

Why can't you retrain as a doctor? If a cleaner can manage it, a nurse certainly can.

www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/teen-mum-career-gp-how-13234265

splendide Wed 18-Oct-17 16:51:21

Yes being at home with lots of children here too! Can’t afford more than one I think realistically and i earn lots more than DH so he stays at home. I’m content enough most of the time but occasionally I see a class I’d love to take DS to or something and get a bit maudlin.

RubyRed2017 Wed 18-Oct-17 18:22:38

A happy marriage sad

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