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Really worried and need to talk to someone

(213 Posts)
Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:26:04

My (just) 18yo dd is somewhere in town next to mine and I’ve no idea where. She said she’d be home by 9, rang me at 9.30 (her phone was off before that) to say she’d missed bus but would be on later one and Home by 11. Still no sign. Managed to message a friend who she was with who’s given me some stupid bloody excuse about buses just going past.

I said ok, let me know address and I’ll come and get her. The response “no worries, will let you know as soon as”!!!!!! Nothing since.

I’m so worried and angry. She may be 18 but she’s a young 18 iykwim, not streetwise at all. I don’t know her friends address. Her phone is off and has been for hours.

I have to be up at 6 to go to work and the town my dd is in is a good 20 min drive. I’m exhausted.

Don’t know if I should ring police or if that’s massively overreacting

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:27:47

The message from her friend was half an hour ago

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 18-Oct-17 00:28:51

Oh god you poor thing. You could ring 101 and see what they say? I’m not sure what they’d do but worth a chat. Might give her a bit of a scare too if you tell her you called the police when she does turn up.

PointlessUsername Wed 18-Oct-17 00:30:49

Have you called her friend since the text?

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:31:56

Yes, I have been calling and texting. I’ll ring 101. Feel like I’m going to have a heart attack!

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 18-Oct-17 00:34:34

She will be fine don’t panic, she’s just stretching her boundaries.

loopsdefruit Wed 18-Oct-17 00:35:53

Realistically the police wouldn't do much now I don't think, as she's not 'missing' she's just being a teenager and making really poor choices. She will come back, and when she does I think you need to have a serious talk with her about trust and freedom.

Saying that, if you become unable to contact any of her friends or their parents, and she isn't back by the early hours of the morning, I would contact the police. If you need to leave a message on her phone/text her that you will be doing that then do, it might spur her to suddenly be able to get home promptly.

I'm sorry this is happening flowers

avamiah Wed 18-Oct-17 00:37:01

Hi Op?
Any news ?

MarmaladeIsMyJam Wed 18-Oct-17 00:40:38

Please don't ring the police because your 18yo daughter has missed the bus home ffs hmm
You feel like you're going to have a heart attack?? Really?

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:40:56

I called 101. They were very kind. Suggested I text her friend and say “I need to know what’s going on or I’ll call the police”. I’ve sent that just now. No response as yet.

Police said I can report her as missing but reluctant to do that as agree she’s probably just been a teenager (and a dickhead)

I’m so worried though.

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:41:37

Yes Marmalade. If you read my OP you’ll see this is Very out of character and she is now almost 4 hours late Home.

MarmaladeIsMyJam Wed 18-Oct-17 00:45:25

No, it doesn't actually say it's out of character for her. You had a text from her friend 40 MINUTES AGO to say that she was fine. She is an adult and presumably can come home she she likes.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta Wed 18-Oct-17 00:46:11

They'll be a boy involved, or booze. But she will be okay. Sorry OP. I was horrible at 18 and put my parents through lots of shit but I always came home and am an upstanding citizen now.

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:47:50

Marmalade - I don’t want to argue with someone on here. I thought I’d put it in op that this was out of character, I’m very stressed and upset.

PointlessUsername Wed 18-Oct-17 00:48:22

She and her Friend have probably Lost track of time. Hoping she is home soon

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:48:34

No reply from friend. Dd’s Phone still off. I don’t know what to do.

RapunzelsRealMom Wed 18-Oct-17 00:51:54

OP, I'd be going nuts too. I can't understand people who say they wouldn't be worried in this situation.

That said, the chances are she's fine and just being an idiot. Maybe they've had a drink or she's met a boy.

Set yourself a deadline and, if you've heard nothing by then, report her missing.

And when she comes home safe and we'll, as she's very likely to do, read the riot act.

StaplesCorner Wed 18-Oct-17 00:51:56

Are you alone in the house, is the next town a big town? Can the police do a drive round? Do you know the friend's parents? Is your DD due at work/college tomorrow? Do you think they've just got pissed and are trying to get a can?

Even so, I'd ring 101 and make that report.

MyDcAreMarvel Wed 18-Oct-17 00:52:10

Just go to sleep, your dd is with her friend , you know that.
Do you normally suffer from anxiety because you are not being very rational.

MrsOverTheRoad Wed 18-Oct-17 00:55:03

Another one saying it's down to a boy or booze. She'll be ok OP....she's an adult now. I know it's not usual for her but she's just doing her thing in all likelyhood.

StaplesCorner Wed 18-Oct-17 00:55:51

Op sounds perfectly rational to me, just worried.

avamiah Wed 18-Oct-17 00:58:45

Hi OP,
Your daughter is 18, does she have a job or at Uni ?
Is she expected to be somewhere early in the morning ?

Worried181017 Wed 18-Oct-17 01:00:35

She has college tomorrow. Next town is big. I know police won’t do anything. Probably best to try and get some sleep and deal with her tomorrow. Thanks for the kind replies.

avamiah Wed 18-Oct-17 01:03:24

What do you mean the next town is Big ?
I've never heard that saying before.

calamityjam Wed 18-Oct-17 01:04:33

Shes old enough to decide to stay out now op, she's a grown up. 40 mins ago you knew she was OK. Just trust you did a good job in raising her and she will be fine.

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