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Referring to a gay man as a "nice boy"

(27 Posts)
BadenBadenBadenBaden Tue 17-Oct-17 21:59:46

Watching GBBO with the ILs. Stephen makes a quip about drag queens. FIL says "he's a nice boy, isn't he?" <raises eyebrows and smirks>

As ever, I don't quite know what to say. What would you have said?

gobbin Tue 17-Oct-17 22:00:56

“Welcome to 2017. Your carriage back to 1856 awaits.”

Anecdoche Tue 17-Oct-17 22:04:30

i would probably have deliberately misunderstood

why yes fil he has a most pleasant personality .

BadenBadenBadenBaden Tue 17-Oct-17 22:17:39

That's my problem, I can never think of something witty/ cutting at the time, that also gets my point across.

KrytensNanobots Tue 17-Oct-17 23:05:56

I'd have played dumb like Anechdoche.
Something like "Yes, he does seem to have a lovely personality, you're right."

bonfireheart Tue 17-Oct-17 23:23:37

But Stephen isn't gay.

Montacute Tue 17-Oct-17 23:24:33

Is Stephen the really irritating one?

Bloodybridget Tue 17-Oct-17 23:25:42

He is gay, surely?

bonfireheart Tue 17-Oct-17 23:27:18

No, they did a big thing for the prelaunch saying that Tom was the first gay male on the show. But not Stephen.

bonfireheart Tue 17-Oct-17 23:29:08

Tom, Yan & Sandi

Montacute Tue 17-Oct-17 23:29:56

That can't be right. Brendan from a few series' ago (the one who looked like a serial killer) had a husband.

MammaTJ Tue 17-Oct-17 23:32:27

I don't even get why the sexuality of people baking is even relevant!

bonfireheart Tue 17-Oct-17 23:37:17

Maybe he is

bonfireheart Tue 17-Oct-17 23:38:07

mammatj it isn't, but sometimes when you're part of a 'minority' group it's nice to see representation

HidingBehindTheWallpaper Tue 17-Oct-17 23:40:42

I’ve not watched this year (fuck you Channel 4) but as said above Brendan was gay. I recall them showing is husband/partner.

thewheelsonthebuz Tue 17-Oct-17 23:40:57

Stephen has admitted he’s gay!

HidingBehindTheWallpaper Tue 17-Oct-17 23:42:15

Oh and I have been known to glare at a family member who makes similar comments in front of his teen daughter who has just come out.

WitchSharkadder Tue 17-Oct-17 23:43:29

I’d have played dumb too and made him squirm trying to explain himself.

The lovely John who won a few years back is gay too so there’s def been plenty of previous gay contestants.

TheFlandersPigeonMurderer Wed 18-Oct-17 05:11:52

I’ve always just taken it as a euphemism from days gone by when you either didn't mention homosexuality or it was still illegal. It was a way of implying you knew without using the actual term (or derivative thereof)
In any case it’s never really occurred to me to be bothered by it (but I am actually supremely thick skinned) as it’s just something I can remember my GM saying, so in my head it’s a “littleoldladyism” IYSWIM?

snowglobe67 Wed 18-Oct-17 06:10:32

"Stephen has admitted he's gay"
Erm that's a little bit offensive in itself, being gay isn't a crime or a guilty secret that you have to admit to!
Sorry, petty but it winds me up.

didnthappeninmyday Wed 18-Oct-17 06:28:40

I was thinking the same** snowglobe. Stephen has said he’s gay would be better as there’s nothing to admit.

maddiemookins16mum Wed 18-Oct-17 07:20:25

It's rather a dated expression a la Larry Grayson 1978 -'ooh, he seems like a nice boy'.
I too don't see why it has to broadcasted anyway about being gay or not, it almost seems 'the thing to do' now. That said, there'd be people complaining if it wasn't mentioned I guess.

AmIthatbloodycold Wed 18-Oct-17 07:24:49

Well yes saying he's a nice boy winkwink is probably on a par with "admitting" he's gay, like a shady secret that's been found out

I've never understood the need for anyone to comment on others' sexual preferences

HidingBehindTheWallpaper Wed 18-Oct-17 07:27:04

Not petty at all Snow. It isn’t a shameful secret.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper Wed 18-Oct-17 07:29:33

Has it been ‘broadcast’ though. Or has it just been ‘this is Stephen and his husband Tim’, just like they would say ‘this is Karen and her husband Dave’. It’s no more broadcasting that someone is gay as that they are straight.

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