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Baby sleep

(39 Posts)
fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 20:33:00

Has anyone purchased one of the sleep guides from Little Ones? I have seen them advertised on my Facebook and I'm interested but they are quite pricey so keen to find out if anyone has purchased it and tried it, and if so it it was worth the cash.

This is their website: https://www.littleones.co

Alternatively if anyone has tried another guide/website/book about baby sleep that you'd recommend id be keen to hear.

Thanks

Eebahgum Tue 17-Oct-17 20:36:10

How old is your baby and what sleep issues are you having?

BertieBotts Tue 17-Oct-17 20:38:03

I like the no cry sleep solution for older babies and toddlers, there's also a newer one called the no cry sleep solution for newborns which is good general advice up to about 6 months. I think they give useful information which isn't too prescriptive in any particular direction but is likely to work. I haven't personally tried the tips in the newborn one but liked what I read of it.

lightcola Tue 17-Oct-17 20:39:54

How old is your baby? If younger than 6 months then please don't spend your money.

fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 20:44:09

Baby is 2 months. We aren't having any major sleep issues just now, but I want to learn more about baby sleep patterns at different stages of development and general good habits.

I've seen a few friends with babies get into terrible sleep habits and I want to avoid that happening!

TittyGolightly Tue 17-Oct-17 20:44:57

I've seen a few friends with babies get into terrible sleep habits

Such as?

fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 20:46:48

Eg Some have babies that will only go to sleep lying on a parents chest. Various other things like that.

BertieBotts Tue 17-Oct-17 20:47:13

As an aside, I'd never come across that website before but it looks massively salesy, which quite often IME means a lack of decent content. When a company has something good to sell, they have enough content that they can afford to give you a teaser for free so you can see if you like it or not and the partial product sells the full version. Websites like that which go on and on and on about how great they are and what amazing results they get without actually explaining or showing you what it is they are offering are usually a sign that what's for sale is either scanty or simply not very good to begin with. But by the time you've spent a lot of money on something you're invested in it and want to make it work.

lightcola Tue 17-Oct-17 20:48:23

You can read all about that for free on the internet. You don't need to pay money for that information.

Bad habits don't exist. Survival does. Whatever they do at 3, 6, 12 months they won't do it at 2, 3, 4 years.

fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 20:48:58

@BertieBotts yeh that's what I was thinking, so wanted to see if anyone else on here has tried it. Thanks for the book recommendation, I'll check that out on amazon.

Sunshinegirl82 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:50:20

I read loads of books and tried loads of things (except for letting him cry by himself) and none of it worked! I did however tie myself up in knots worrying about the fact that it wasn't working and convincing myself I was doing a terrible job.

My mum told me to chuck all the books away and do whatever worked for all of us. Everything was much better after that.

At 2 months I really wouldn't give it any head space. Some babies are great sleepers, some are hideous, most fall somewhere in between. Wait and see what you've got before you worry.

cherryontopp Tue 17-Oct-17 20:51:27

I'm watching the interest.

My first is due February and I'm a bit wary about picking up bad habits that I've seen my mates do, such as constant picking up, bed sharing etc so now they're run ragged! I want to try the best I can try and sleep them so they can sleep through wishful thibking i know

BertieBotts Tue 17-Oct-17 20:51:56

Eesh, they grow out of things like that in no time at all! Do you think I still breastfeed my nine year old to sleep or have to let him sleep on my chest? grin Quite apart from anything else, they get to a point where they don't really fit...

Actually he slunk into bed in a huff tonight because we didn't appreciate his masterful performance of "I'm too tired to brush my teeth so I'm going to writhe across the floor like a caterpillar complaining about being tired until you notice me instead".

fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 20:54:51

@BertieBotts some of my friends kids haven't grown out of it shock the mum sleeps in a bed with the kid and the dad in another room! That's another thing I'm keen to avoid! Lol!

fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 20:55:42

@lightcola are there any particular websites you'd recommend? I'd much rather read for free than pay smile

TittyGolightly Tue 17-Oct-17 21:17:39

Eg Some have babies that will only go to sleep lying on a parents chest. Various other things like that.

Do you know why they do that? Do you know that all newborn babies are at least 3 months premature and crave womb conditions for comfort and growth? Including being rocked and hearing a heartbeat? It's called the 4th trimester. Google it.

My DD slept on my chest for 4 months. She's now 7 and doesn't need it. ☺️

TittyGolightly Tue 17-Oct-17 21:18:30

the mum sleeps in a bed with the kid and the dad in another room!

Why is it considered normal for adults to have the comfort of sleeping with another person but not children?

fatfingeredfran Tue 17-Oct-17 21:27:30

Err..ok...this is getting a little off topic. Thats'll teach me for posting in chat.

Anyhow, if anyone else reads this and has tried the guides I mention I'd be keen to hear if you found them useful. grin xx

OhOurBilly Tue 17-Oct-17 21:34:13

DH sleeps in the other room because he's up and down all night some nights and I'm up and down all night with the baby some most nights. We both need sleep without disturbing each other constantly, we would have honestly just have gotten divorced by now if I didn't cosleep.

Do your best to stick to the good sleep intentions but honestly, just do what works. Survival is key grin

Also, the baby's farts are marginally less bogging.

BertieBotts Tue 17-Oct-17 21:40:37

Honestly though I think although everyone seems to know somebody who has ended up in a bad sleep situation (or everyone except me... wait... maybe it was me everyone else felt sorry for blush) it is a red herring to assume that early sleep practices lead directly to sleep problems when children are older. It seems logical but I just don't think it really works this way (this is perspective, friends' experiences, 9 years of reading parenting forums - lots of sleep problems and solutions in lots of situations).

Some parents use responsive techniques (feeding to sleep, holding, stroking, rocking, adult presence etc) to settle their young babies but the babies grow out of needing this responsiveness.

Some parents (if I could make an absolute guess I think this is the majority category) use responsive techniques when their baby is small, and when the baby is bigger they decide to actively wean the baby off these techniques and get them to be more independent. Whether this is done by sleep training or a more gentle method isn't really the point - the point is that the parents decided that the situation was no longer working for them and so they changed it, which in the majority of cases, works just fine.

Sometimes the dependence on more responsive sleep behaviours lasts longer than might be expected, but the parents are okay with it and don't want to change them - you can't assume simply because a behaviour goes on for longer than you would be happy with, that it means the parents have no choice and are stuck with it.

Some children are simply very needy and really struggle with sleep, whether it happens early or comes on later. (Sometimes these parents start off with textbook perfect babies!) Often so-called "bad habits" are adopted in response to children who really need a lot of extra reassurance and responsiveness at night, whereas if they had been more laid back the parents may not have adopted such techniques in the first place. These same tendencies may then mean that this particular child holds onto those same needs until much later than other children, and finds them much harder to break, which makes it look as though it was the parent's behaviour which caused the sleep problems, when really the child had just always had higher needs than other babies.

Some parents have laid back babies who are fine with the more independent sleep techniques being used all the way through, so it looks like the parents' behaviour has caused the "good sleeping" but in reality this is simply a laid back baby, who probably could have been born into another family and been the same baby as example scenarios 1 or 2.

I do think some of the narrative around sleep training and "good habits" with babies is misleading and doesn't make a lot of sense. Babies are not mini adults and they don't have the capability to think "If I do this, X might happen" - they just follow impulses and instincts for the most part.

BertieBotts Tue 17-Oct-17 21:44:27

Oh sorry grin I was half doing something else and typing that in bits and bobs.

But you asked for websites to read - and mumsnet is actually one I'd recommend. Yes, sometimes people can get very het up about different sleep theories and it can all go a bit bonkers, but for the most part the more you read the more you'll learn and the more different situations you'll find out about and opinions and things, and that's great IMO, lots of perspectives, lots of things to try.

Neverenoughspoons Tue 17-Oct-17 21:54:30

I'd recommend you read Sarah Ockwell-Smith's website.

Sunshinegirl82 Tue 17-Oct-17 21:55:04

BertieBotts I think that's spot on. You can only parent the child you actually have. The trouble I found with the books is that they tell you how to parent a hypothetical child and then you feel shit when your child doesn't respond in the same way as the hypothetical child!

My desperate attempts not get into "bad habits" is probably my one big regret of ds's first 6 months. I achieved nothing apart from feeling like a failure.

Notlostjustexploring Tue 17-Oct-17 22:12:14

I'm another one to say not to bother with the books/plans etc. I bought books at 3am and lived on the Internet searching for the answer. They all just made me feel rotten as a mother, and following the advice made me feel worse.
My son just doesn't like sleeping. His father is a terrible sleeper as an adult, so he's inherited that!

Also, those adverts started cropping up after my desperate am searches, so I'm disposed to thing dimly on them, preying on the sleep deprived!

Also remember, no one sets out deliberately to be in bad habits, but you do what is necessary to survive!!

CustardOmlet Wed 18-Oct-17 06:45:42

It’s not getting “off topic” it is people trying to reassure you you don’t need to waste money on self help crap. I didn’t read any sleep stuff/parent guides, both my boys were terrible sleepers at 2 months but by 6months they both slept through. It was a horrible time with DS1 as I didn’t know if I was starting bad habits etc, however it was easier with DS2 as I knew it wasn’t going to last.

I have always been anti cosleeping (my opinion) so my DSs knew that night time sleep was in the cot (even if it was 20mins at a time) but if they cried I would always comfort them. I slowly introduced daytime naps to the cot when they were having decent stretches at night. DS2 still has a bottle at sleep time (14m) but he can resettle himself in the night.

Oh, and I cannot advocate Ewan the Sheep enough, it’s amazing!!!

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