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My son is packing to leave home, wants to change his name and have nothing more to do with me

(185 Posts)
PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:37:11

We have just had a massive argument because I said he wasn't allowed to eat dog food for lunch because he's not a dog.

I appreciate that I was unreasonable because he assured me he actually is a dog and so should be allowed dog food.

He's now packing his bag, which is an old Easter egg basket which won't stand up to this wind, to leave home. He says he going to change his name to "Dog" and never speak to me again.

Butterymuffin Tue 17-Oct-17 12:38:30

I hope that when he gets to the door you're going to shout 'Here boy, here boy!' smile

ThePeanutGallery Tue 17-Oct-17 12:39:06

Well that's what you get for telling him he can't be a dog. He can be anything he wants to be.

GeillisTheWitch Tue 17-Oct-17 12:39:31

How dare you assume his species you bigot, if he identifies as a dog then he is one wink.

TheQueenOfWands Tue 17-Oct-17 12:40:16

I'm pretty sure that dog food needs to be fit for human consumption.

I'd let him eat it.

overmydeadbody Tue 17-Oct-17 12:41:09

Reminds me of this


2014newme Tue 17-Oct-17 12:42:38

Meh let him try the dog food.

ScallopedEdge Tue 17-Oct-17 12:42:40

Please tell me he's at least 13 grin

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:44:33

over That's amazing grin

Rainallday Tue 17-Oct-17 12:44:45

Tell him dogs have to be good to get treats and then feed him one cheerio for each trick. You could get half an hour with a coffee if he has to do an impressive doggy dance move for each one.

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:44:58

Scalloped He's 25 wink

RaininSummer Tue 17-Oct-17 12:45:48

Don't you oppress that boy/dog smile

WaxOnFeckOff Tue 17-Oct-17 12:46:09

I used to regulary eat dog biscuits as a child, contrary to most other mixed colour foodstuffs, the black ones are not the tastiest....

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:46:19

I daren't let him try the dog food. He's an absolute gannet and will eat pretty much anything

He'd probably love it and then broadcast it to the world that I fed him dog food like he did when I gave him a sip of gin and tonic

Ds3 once informed us that he was leaving home - if I recall correctly, we had done something truly unforgivable, like expecting him to pick up his toys. Dh went upstairs to help him pack (he was only about 3, so it would have been a bit mean to make him do it on his own), and asked ds3 where he was going to live, and what he was going to live on.

Apparently he was going to live down the side of the house (where the rain wouldn't be able to get him) and would eat dirt and worms. Dh suggested taking a spoon out to the garden and sampling some dirt and worms, just so we'd be sure he was going to be OK on this diet.

Ds3 decided he'd prefer to live with us, and unpacked.

sashh Tue 17-Oct-17 12:50:36

You have my sympathies, my cat tried to eat lettuce a week or two ago and rejected a cat treat, my carer suggested she was self identifying as a rabbit.

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:50:43

I've just asked, apparently he's going to live in Cheshire

I have no idea where Cheshire has come from. He's never been there and I don't think me and DH have ever had a single conversation to be overheard about the place confused

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:51:35

Apparently he has a friend who lives there confused

sashh Tue 17-Oct-17 12:52:08

Is his friend a dog or a human who wants a dog?

sashh Tue 17-Oct-17 12:53:11

It reminds me of this

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:53:14

Neither, a robot hmm

Redglitter Tue 17-Oct-17 12:54:18

That's brilliant. You've given me a very much needed laugh this morning

KarateKitten Tue 17-Oct-17 12:55:03

A used to get a big bamboo stick from the garden and a huge hankerchief, put my precious stuff tied in the hanky to the stick and set off a la Huck Finn. My announcement to run away was always followed with an offer of a sandwich for my journey.

PlumpkinArse Tue 17-Oct-17 12:55:57

Karate I just offered a sandwich and was told "I'll think about it"


rubberducker Tue 17-Oct-17 13:00:36

He might want to rethink Cheshire, kennels will be pretty pricey there!

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